I'm another host parent whose handbook got bloated after a bad au pair year. But then her replacement came and we had multiple laughs while going over the handbook together due to her bewilderment that I had spelled some things out explicitly that to her were total common sense. I'm now back to a 5-10-or-so page handbook that covers the basics, and I make sure to interview for common sense.

We send it at the stage where we're just about to offer the match. Best to give candidates the total view of your family before they commit.

CCAP has a standard template with suggested sections. I used that, pulled some language from Au Pair mom, and it ended up about 10 pages.

I agree with PPs- our 5-page handbook was sufficient for our APs, but after one particular AP year, it expanded to 35 pages. I also assumed there would be common sense courtesies, such as a heads-up when our AP had a leak in her bathroom sink (she didn't feel the need to tell us, and let the water pool on the floor for days), but after meeting her parents, I realized that she was raised with completely different expectations and values. Writing everything down in the handbook was my way of managing a stressful and frustrating year, but in hindsight, it simply wasn't the right fit.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in the final stages of interviewing and sent the handbook to the AP candidate. I think it's fair that they be given as much information as possible about our expectations and for her to develop exod rations of us before she accepts the role.

This year our guide blossomed from 10 spaced out pages to 34. I'm not confrontational and have let things slide with our current AP that I would like corrected on day one with our new AP, making sure all kids toys and art materials are away at the end of her shift.

I think it's normal to put more things in writing after a bad first year, but you may soon find that some of these rules are plain common sense and that 90% of APs don't need to have everything spelled out in such details. I found my guide growing over our first 3 years, and I now slimming it down for the last 3. I have come to the conclusion that if I have to write EVERYTHING down for an AP, she is probably not right for us.

Funny you mention the beware of having to write EVERYTHING down, because we are now having to revise our household handbook with our current AP to add in EVERYTHING. Where there is a gap in information, AP takes a concession. For instance, we stupidly assumed that since we were sharing our car with her, that she would ask for permission first before using it. We assumed if something happened with the car, she would call us first (rather than having a bunch of drunk college kids try to jump start it first). We also assumed she'd ask for permission before hosting overnight guests or at least give us a head's up someone is spending the night, rather than my kids screaming there's some stranger in the bathroom at 4AM.

Our LCC is coming this week for mediation/discussion time, so we have to go over what we thought were common sense courtesies. We've even had to add in saying "please" and "thank you". Yikes. So you are absolutely correct in saying that if you have to write everything down they are probably not the AP for you. And our has totally taken advantage due to our gaps in detail.

Anonymous wrote:I'm in the final stages of interviewing and sent the handbook to the AP candidate. I think it's fair that they be given as much information as possible about our expectations and for her to develop exod rations of us before she accepts the role.

This year our guide blossomed from 10 spaced out pages to 34. I'm not confrontational and have let things slide with our current AP that I would like corrected on day one with our new AP, making sure all kids toys and art materials are away at the end of her shift.

I think it's normal to put more things in writing after a bad first year, but you may soon find that some of these rules are plain common sense and that 90% of APs don't need to have everything spelled out in such details. I found my guide growing over our first 3 years, and I now slimming it down for the last 3. I have come to the conclusion that if I have to write EVERYTHING down for an AP, she is probably not right for us.

Anonymous wrote:When do you give your au pair your handbook?

Parts of it int he last stage of interviewing: responsibilities, family routines, sample schedule, program rules (vacation, days off, tuition, etc.) and car/house rules. I give the other half on arrival: emergency info, local attractions, sample meals/activities, how to use appliances, etc.

Anonymous wrote:I'm in the final stages of interviewing and sent the handbook to the AP candidate. I think it's fair that they be given as much information as possible about our expectations and for her to develop exod rations of us before she accepts the role.

This year our guide blossomed from 10 spaced out pages to 34. I'm not confrontational and have let things slide with our current AP that I would like corrected on day one with our new AP, making sure all kids toys and art materials are away at the end of her shift.

What's in the 34 pages?

I'm in the final stages of interviewing and sent the handbook to the AP candidate. I think it's fair that they be given as much information as possible about our expectations and for her to develop exod rations of us before she accepts the role.

This year our guide blossomed from 10 spaced out pages to 34. I'm not confrontational and have let things slide with our current AP that I would like corrected on day one with our new AP, making sure all kids toys and art materials are away at the end of her shift.

When do you give your au pair your handbook?

I have trimmed down my guide to include all the essentials. Important issues will vary from one family to another and might be based on some of the difficult issues you dealt with in the past. For us these are car usage expectations, cell phone use while working, and hosting family/friends from abroad.

We're having this issue come up as well, but we are needing to revise our handbook. AP has taken a lot of liberties that we did not anticipate, so we need to make some revisions and be much more thorough.

Anonymous wrote:A wealth of information can be found here.

Major topics in ours include: schedule, flexibility (for both parties regarding the schedule), colleges nearby for classes, car usage and driving experience, child care standards and discipline, what we pay for and what we don't, food, job expectations regarding chores around the house (kids laundry, room, toys, dishwasher, meals, etc).

Oops, forgot the link http://aupairmom.com/tag/handbook/

A wealth of information can be found here.

Major topics in ours include: schedule, flexibility (for both parties regarding the schedule), colleges nearby for classes, car usage and driving experience, child care standards and discipline, what we pay for and what we don't, food, job expectations regarding chores around the house (kids laundry, room, toys, dishwasher, meals, etc).

Looking for some tips of what to put in our household handbook. What are some important rules, issues that frequently come up, etc.?