Anonymous wrote:Oh you've tried everything EXCEPT behavioral training? Could you please elaborate on what that included?

As a former owner of multiple "pit bulls," who require heavy training and a confident owner, this dog may not be the right dog for your family. It sounds like he is miserable - you can't give him what he needs and you aren't giving your child or your marriage what they need.

Find the dog a home that can give the training and time he needs, due to breed, trauma, or personality, and focus on your child and your marriage. Please.

You're out of line. Please STFU and go away.

Anonymous wrote:Your dog is the problem here, not your childcare. Focus on that - there are a lot of reasons your child will want people at your house, as she gets older. Please don't deprive her of that because of a dog. Pay what it costs for the crazy good dog trainer who has a six month wait list and fix the dog. Then you can have any arrangement you'd like.

OP here. We have plenty of people over, she's not deprived. It happens when we're there and can supervise.

Do you own a dog? It's not always "pay what it costs" and the problem is gone. He's been this way his whole life, so it would take months if not years to "fix" him if at all possible. It's a ton of work and a huge time commitment, on top of the expense.


Waiting for the next comment proclaiming I'm a bad dog owner or otherwise a bad parent, or something else judgey and ridiculous that I'm doing wrong. Wait for it....

Talk to your nanny. Our last nanny started calling in sick a lot and we just talked to her - unfortunately she was very defensive and got very upset about it. She was well beyond the 7 days paid. In the end, we just parted ways...

Your dog is the problem here, not your childcare. Focus on that - there are a lot of reasons your child will want people at your house, as she gets older. Please don't deprive her of that because of a dog. Pay what it costs for the crazy good dog trainer who has a six month wait list and fix the dog. Then you can have any arrangement you'd like.

You have a high needs child AND a high needs dog?

I'd let the dog go and maybe your child will stabilize.

If your nanny is calling out that often, and looking forward to a vacation soon, and, I assume, has also been off for a lot of federal holidays ... she's burned out or doesn't really like this job.

Why not try behavioral training then?

You need to ask the family if they are ok with it before approaching the nanny. You are requesting the child care be done in their home, with their nanny. I personally would not ask in less you are good friends. You need to get a new nanny if she is taking off 2 days a month for sick leave.

check your benefits and those of your DH . . . you might have back-up daycare privileges. I've had them at two different employers, used them (bright horizons) and it was awesome. For free! And yet, each time, there were colleagues who were like "huh?" and had never heard of the benefit. check it out.

OP here. The other family has extended family nearby who fill in. We can do emergency grandparent babysitting but not during the work week.

What is a drop off center? I thought all the day cares in DC were booked to the hilt and have wait lists for full time care that are 5 miles long (when we were looking, that was the case)

I agree we probably do need to talk about reasonable days off. Sigh.

There's literally nothing short of behavioral training we haven't tried to remedy the dog situation so for now that is set in stone, unfortunately. Trust me we would love to have a sitter come to the house once in a while for a date night!

What does the other share family do when the nanny is out sick? Can you team up with them on these days too?

Your nanny is out 10% of the time and has vacation left? You need to bundle PTO and talk to her about reasonable numbers of days off.

And you need a better backup plan. The other nanny might be great with your kid, you never know!

Have you looked into a drop off center? I don't think you should ask your neighborly unless the kids already play together. How old is the neighbor's kid?

You have 2 separate issues here. You need a daycare back up plan and you also need to work on your dog getting used to people being in the house. I think its ok to ask the other Nanny, but depending on the relationship with her family you may also want to check they are ok with it. You should also schedule your vacation time around your nannys. When I was a nanny many means ago some of my time was of the families choosing and one week was of my choosing. I know that doesnt help with sick days though.
Can you have someone come to the house and give your dog treats and take it for a walk? Get it used to other people being there?

DH and I are very happy with the quality of our childcare arrangement (nanny share, hosted by other family). However, anytime nanny is on leave we have no back-up and have to stay home w/ DC. The reason is we have a neurotic dog that we can't take to dog daycare, can't confine, and can't leave in the house with a stranger. In any of these situations dog will bark all day long (literally).

I'm thinking about asking neighbors if we can drop DC off at their house with their nanny on these occasions, but that seems really unfair to ask (of course we would pay her, but still, she wouldn't be used to caring for 2 and our DC is a high energy toddler). The past couple of months our nanny has been out sick about one day every other week or so (plus she has some vacation coming up) and it's getting hard for us to take off work all the time. Has anyone else BTDT with a crazy dog and what was your backup plan?