Anonymous
03/31/2016 12:24
Subject: Tips for interviewing and providing references while still employed
How to properly interview while you're still employed is a very good question that OP asked. The Jobs and Careers forum has some excellent advice.
Thank you, OP.
Anonymous
03/31/2016 10:40
Subject: Tips for interviewing and providing references while still employed
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
Go to the Jobs and Careers forum in the parents section.
See the "References Question" thread...
very different advice over there AND much, much smarter.
Huh?
It's barely relevant, and not really responsive at all to OPs question. She's gotten excellent advice here (which is nice for a change!)
Another example of complete dishonesty.
You make no sense. It isn't even an exaggeration, you actually don't make sense.
Please don't feed the troll. Just leave it. I was tempted to try to introduce logic and challenge the lack of sense in her responses, and decided there was no point.
Anonymous
03/31/2016 10:31
Subject: Tips for interviewing and providing references while still employed
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
Go to the Jobs and Careers forum in the parents section.
See the "References Question" thread...
very different advice over there AND much, much smarter.
Huh?
It's barely relevant, and not really responsive at all to OPs question. She's gotten excellent advice here (which is nice for a change!)
Another example of complete dishonesty.
You make no sense. It isn't even an exaggeration, you actually don't make sense.
What does it say that you don't like?
Anonymous
03/31/2016 10:20
Subject: Tips for interviewing and providing references while still employed
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
Go to the Jobs and Careers forum in the parents section.
See the "References Question" thread...
very different advice over there AND much, much smarter.
Huh?
It's barely relevant, and not really responsive at all to OPs question. She's gotten excellent advice here (which is nice for a change!)
Another example of complete dishonesty.
You make no sense. It isn't even an exaggeration, you actually don't make sense.
Anonymous
03/30/2016 20:31
Subject: Tips for interviewing and providing references while still employed
Anonymous wrote:
Go to the Jobs and Careers forum in the parents section.
See the "References Question" thread...
very different advice over there AND much, much smarter.
Anonymous
03/30/2016 20:14
Subject: Tips for interviewing and providing references while still employed
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
Go to the Jobs and Careers forum in the parents section.
See the "References Question" thread...
very different advice over there AND much, much smarter.
Huh?
It's barely relevant, and not really responsive at all to OPs question. She's gotten excellent advice here (which is nice for a change!)
Another example of complete dishonesty.
Anonymous
03/29/2016 16:52
Subject: Tips for interviewing and providing references while still employed
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
Go to the Jobs and Careers forum in the parents section.
See the "References Question" thread...
very different advice over there AND much, much smarter.
Huh?
It's barely relevant, and not really responsive at all to OPs question. She's gotten excellent advice here (which is nice for a change!)
No, your advice clearly works against her.
Anonymous
03/29/2016 16:16
Subject: Tips for interviewing and providing references while still employed
Anonymous wrote:
Go to the Jobs and Careers forum in the parents section.
See the "References Question" thread...
very different advice over there AND much, much smarter.
Huh?
It's barely relevant, and not really responsive at all to OPs question. She's gotten excellent advice here (which is nice for a change!)
Anonymous
03/29/2016 15:01
Subject: Tips for interviewing and providing references while still employed
Go to the Jobs and Careers forum in the parents section.
See the "References Question" thread...
very different advice over there AND much, much smarter.
Anonymous
03/29/2016 14:53
Subject: Re:Tips for interviewing and providing references while still employed
Anonymous wrote:As a MB, I would be understanding of all of the circumstances that you've laid out here in your post and wouldn't hold anything against you BUT I wouldn't tolerate lying for any reason. You are asking people who don't know you to trust you and I get that it can be hard to present the best possible image sometimes, but if I find out about even a little white lie at a later date it will forever color my image of you as someone that I can't fully trust. If you asked me to lie to be able to contact your references, you can forget it. I'd never consider you for the job in the first place.
I also completely get why families are going to want to know in detail why you're leaving your current position. It's fine to keep it simple and even just leave it as "they are never on the same page about anything related to their child, from dropping a nap or potty training, to which brand of fabric softener to use, and it's getting tiresome". That's not too personal and gives a clear picture of a family that would be frustrating to work for.
For your references, just be upfront that your current NF of 2.5 years and your previous NF of the 4.5 years before that are close and since you would prefer not to give them as references you only have one full time and one babysitting position to provide as references. Again, I wouldn't hold that against you, though if you had even another babysitting reference available it would be nice.
Another MB here agreeing with all of this advice.
Anonymous
03/29/2016 13:28
Subject: Re:Tips for interviewing and providing references while still employed
As a MB, I would be understanding of all of the circumstances that you've laid out here in your post and wouldn't hold anything against you BUT I wouldn't tolerate lying for any reason. You are asking people who don't know you to trust you and I get that it can be hard to present the best possible image sometimes, but if I find out about even a little white lie at a later date it will forever color my image of you as someone that I can't fully trust. If you asked me to lie to be able to contact your references, you can forget it. I'd never consider you for the job in the first place.
I also completely get why families are going to want to know in detail why you're leaving your current position. It's fine to keep it simple and even just leave it as "they are never on the same page about anything related to their child, from dropping a nap or potty training, to which brand of fabric softener to use, and it's getting tiresome". That's not too personal and gives a clear picture of a family that would be frustrating to work for.
For your references, just be upfront that your current NF of 2.5 years and your previous NF of the 4.5 years before that are close and since you would prefer not to give them as references you only have one full time and one babysitting position to provide as references. Again, I wouldn't hold that against you, though if you had even another babysitting reference available it would be nice.
I also completely get why families are going to want to know in detail why you're leaving your current position. It's fine to keep it simple and even just leave it as "they are never on the same page about anything related to their child, from dropping a nap or potty training, to which brand of fabric softener to use, and it's getting tiresome". That's not too personal and gives a clear picture of a family that would be frustrating to work for.
For your references, just be upfront that your current NF of 2.5 years and your previous NF of the 4.5 years before that are close and since you would prefer not to give them as references you only have one full time and one babysitting position to provide as references. Again, I wouldn't hold that against you, though if you had even another babysitting reference available it would be nice.
Anonymous
03/29/2016 13:04
Subject: Tips for interviewing and providing references while still employed
Anonymous wrote:Use the family before your current one. Also let the interviewing family know your current family doesn't know you're looking yet and you'd like to keep it that way until you have an offer. Most families will understand, especially since you've been with the current family for a good long stretch and aren't job hopping every 6 months.
Keep it as neutral as possible when discussing why you're leaving. Communication reasons are as good as any. It's ok to say you like them as people and love the kids but the parents aren't on the same page with each other and that makes it hard to do your job when you're being told one thing by mom and something else by dad. Don't mention pay or benefits. If the current kids are getting older and you think they might be heading to school before long, you can use that too. If you're interviewing for a baby, say you excel with infants and toddlers and the other kids are getting older and will be heading to school before long (if that's true.)
Good luck, I hope things work out well for you. My personal experience has been I do better with a couple of part time jobs than one full time. That way if one doesn't work out for any reason, I've still got income while I fill in that hole.
Bad advice if they don't keep your secret.
Anonymous
03/29/2016 12:40
Subject: Tips for interviewing and providing references while still employed
Use the family before your current one. Also let the interviewing family know your current family doesn't know you're looking yet and you'd like to keep it that way until you have an offer. Most families will understand, especially since you've been with the current family for a good long stretch and aren't job hopping every 6 months.
Keep it as neutral as possible when discussing why you're leaving. Communication reasons are as good as any. It's ok to say you like them as people and love the kids but the parents aren't on the same page with each other and that makes it hard to do your job when you're being told one thing by mom and something else by dad. Don't mention pay or benefits. If the current kids are getting older and you think they might be heading to school before long, you can use that too. If you're interviewing for a baby, say you excel with infants and toddlers and the other kids are getting older and will be heading to school before long (if that's true.)
Good luck, I hope things work out well for you. My personal experience has been I do better with a couple of part time jobs than one full time. That way if one doesn't work out for any reason, I've still got income while I fill in that hole.
Keep it as neutral as possible when discussing why you're leaving. Communication reasons are as good as any. It's ok to say you like them as people and love the kids but the parents aren't on the same page with each other and that makes it hard to do your job when you're being told one thing by mom and something else by dad. Don't mention pay or benefits. If the current kids are getting older and you think they might be heading to school before long, you can use that too. If you're interviewing for a baby, say you excel with infants and toddlers and the other kids are getting older and will be heading to school before long (if that's true.)
Good luck, I hope things work out well for you. My personal experience has been I do better with a couple of part time jobs than one full time. That way if one doesn't work out for any reason, I've still got income while I fill in that hole.
Anonymous
03/28/2016 19:19
Subject: Tips for interviewing and providing references while still employed
You can't ask them to lie for you. That was simple!
Anonymous
03/28/2016 19:02
Subject: Tips for interviewing and providing references while still employed
I've decided to leave my NF of 2.5 years. There are many reasons, which I'd rather not discuss in great detail, but one big issue is communication between MB and DB; I often hear one thing from MB and then the opposite from DB, they're never on the same page about anything related to their child, from dropping a nap or potty training, to which brand of fabric softener to use, and it's getting tiresome. There are many other issues on top of that including the cleanliness of the home, schedule issues, not giving enough PTO (only 1 week per year and they always take their week off during the week I choose and I work over the holidays too) or paying well enough, and the list goes on.
Before I quit I want to have a new job lined up, and per our contract I will give 4 weeks notice. I've been on two interviews in the past two weeks, and both times I felt it was going well until they started asking detailed questions about why I was leaving my current NF. In the first interview I kept it very brief when they first asked why I'm leaving (we're not a good fit) but they kept asking why we're not a good fit (communication issues). They then wanted more specifics, saying they wanted to make sure they don't make the same mistakes with their new nanny, and so I gave more specifics. Now I think I gave out too much info about them which is unprofessional and ultimately I think they're now worried I'd talk about them behind their backs.
I told myself going into the second interview that I would not say anything bad about my current NF and would stick to the "we're no longer a good fit" line. But once again the second family seemed obsessed with the WHY behind my decision to leave my NF, and when I refused to give specifics (stating I preferred not to talk badly about them), they started asking if I'm no longer a good fit for them because I'm better suited to babies than toddlers or if maybe I should've done things differently to ensure a good fit as my nanny family's needs change.
In both interviews things seemed to go well until they started asking questions about my current NF and then the mood in the room went south. How can I prevent this from happening in my next interview? I considered lying about being currently employed but I don't think that's ideal because then it wouldn't make sense to say I need a full month before starting the position and also it doesn't explain why I'm not providing a reference for the past 2.5 years.
Another issue I'm having is references. My current MB and DB are close friends with my previous NF, who I had worked with for 4.5 years, so now I feel like I can't give any references for the past 7 years. I had been giving out three references, one is a family I've been babysitting for occasionally for years but it is still very occasional and always in the evenings so that's not the best reference for a full time nanny job. The other two were families I'd nannied for a while back but the first one, who I hadn't spoken to in over 2 years and who I worked with for 2.5 years 8+ years ago, has apparently moved and no longer uses the same email or phone number; the other one is a decent reference but I only worked wIth them for one year and that was almost 7 years ago!
The question I have about references is this: Should I use my current NF or my previous NF (who are close with current NF) as references and ask new potential NFs to lie and say they're only looking for occasional evening babysitting? Or should I just stick with giving out the babysitting family and my old nanny family from 7 years ago as references?
Thank you for your advice.
Before I quit I want to have a new job lined up, and per our contract I will give 4 weeks notice. I've been on two interviews in the past two weeks, and both times I felt it was going well until they started asking detailed questions about why I was leaving my current NF. In the first interview I kept it very brief when they first asked why I'm leaving (we're not a good fit) but they kept asking why we're not a good fit (communication issues). They then wanted more specifics, saying they wanted to make sure they don't make the same mistakes with their new nanny, and so I gave more specifics. Now I think I gave out too much info about them which is unprofessional and ultimately I think they're now worried I'd talk about them behind their backs.
I told myself going into the second interview that I would not say anything bad about my current NF and would stick to the "we're no longer a good fit" line. But once again the second family seemed obsessed with the WHY behind my decision to leave my NF, and when I refused to give specifics (stating I preferred not to talk badly about them), they started asking if I'm no longer a good fit for them because I'm better suited to babies than toddlers or if maybe I should've done things differently to ensure a good fit as my nanny family's needs change.
In both interviews things seemed to go well until they started asking questions about my current NF and then the mood in the room went south. How can I prevent this from happening in my next interview? I considered lying about being currently employed but I don't think that's ideal because then it wouldn't make sense to say I need a full month before starting the position and also it doesn't explain why I'm not providing a reference for the past 2.5 years.
Another issue I'm having is references. My current MB and DB are close friends with my previous NF, who I had worked with for 4.5 years, so now I feel like I can't give any references for the past 7 years. I had been giving out three references, one is a family I've been babysitting for occasionally for years but it is still very occasional and always in the evenings so that's not the best reference for a full time nanny job. The other two were families I'd nannied for a while back but the first one, who I hadn't spoken to in over 2 years and who I worked with for 2.5 years 8+ years ago, has apparently moved and no longer uses the same email or phone number; the other one is a decent reference but I only worked wIth them for one year and that was almost 7 years ago!
The question I have about references is this: Should I use my current NF or my previous NF (who are close with current NF) as references and ask new potential NFs to lie and say they're only looking for occasional evening babysitting? Or should I just stick with giving out the babysitting family and my old nanny family from 7 years ago as references?
Thank you for your advice.