Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Here's an example of why I'm asking. I work at home. When it's nap time for my LO, he knows he can come upstairs and say "hi" for 2 minutes before going to nap. (He's 18 months.) I set my work schedule so that I'm free during this time because it's a nice little visit. Today, nanny asked what time he should eat lunch, and I said 11:45, and she didn't get him back home until after 12.

It's not that is so late or anything, but now I'll be on a call when he comes up for nap, and I'm also frustrated that she specifically asked me and then just sort of ignored it.

I'm REALLY wary of being too hard on our nanny because I know the WAHM aspect can totally suck. So I'm generally pretty hands off. Anyway, today's issue started me thinking if WOHM tell their nanny's "nap time at 1 because he was up late today" or whatever.

FWIW, my kid is easy going and if you waited until he showed signs of being tired, it might be 5 pm! But, he goes to sleep really quickly when put down, so we tend to schedule based on timing rather than queues.

Anyway, just curious what happens in other households. I don't want to be too uptight, but I was frustrated today.

I would be flabbergasted if my MB said that. I'm a professional that was hired for my knowledge of child development. My MB might say something like "he was up late last night", and I usually ask how his night went, but she'd never tell me what to do in response to that. For some kids they'd need to go down earlier. Other kids it'd be best to maintain their usual schedule, with the understanding that they may be a little cranky.

Exactly. Op has more of a sitter.

I think that's probably right. She does no cooking or meal prep, no laundry, she can leave when my son naps etc.

+1

I'm a nanny and I set the schedule. Well we all do. Talked about what works and doesn't.

I'm hired for my knowledge in raising children, so I have a voice in what to do during the days and nights

I am a nanny & it usually is the mother who tells me the child's sleeping and eating schedule.

I've had fathers tell me at times, but usually it is the mother.

MB here. I told him what I'd established on my maternity leave and then that's what the baby was used to. If he noticed that a change would be a good idea he'd bring it up, but I decided yes or no with DH.

MB here. I set the schedule overall, but the nanny certainly gets a voice in that - especially as the schedule shifts over time (aging out of naps for instance.)

I also make sure that if I need/want something to happen at a certain time that the nanny understands why I'm doing that. If she can't make it back in time, or missed a nap, or was late getting dinner started, or whatever, she lets me know. Those instances are pretty few and far between and I work hard to make sure I don't get too carried away with things that don't matter much in the big scheme of things. Life happens and things gets missed, or kids are having such a great time at the park that you stay an extra 15 minutes, or they're so overtired that you push nap earlier, etc...

So, I'd say that if the nanny is getting your child to you for the quick visit 90% of the time as scheduled, then you let go of the occasional missed times. If she is routinely not adhering to the clearly preferred schedule, or seems to be disregarding your wishes, that is a different situation that needs to be addressed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Here's an example of why I'm asking. I work at home. When it's nap time for my LO, he knows he can come upstairs and say "hi" for 2 minutes before going to nap. (He's 18 months.) I set my work schedule so that I'm free during this time because it's a nice little visit. Today, nanny asked what time he should eat lunch, and I said 11:45, and she didn't get him back home until after 12.

It's not that is so late or anything, but now I'll be on a call when he comes up for nap, and I'm also frustrated that she specifically asked me and then just sort of ignored it.

I'm REALLY wary of being too hard on our nanny because I know the WAHM aspect can totally suck. So I'm generally pretty hands off. Anyway, today's issue started me thinking if WOHM tell their nanny's "nap time at 1 because he was up late today" or whatever.

FWIW, my kid is easy going and if you waited until he showed signs of being tired, it might be 5 pm! But, he goes to sleep really quickly when put down, so we tend to schedule based on timing rather than queues.

Anyway, just curious what happens in other households. I don't want to be too uptight, but I was frustrated today.

I would be flabbergasted if my MB said that. I'm a professional that was hired for my knowledge of child development. My MB might say something like "he was up late last night", and I usually ask how his night went, but she'd never tell me what to do in response to that. For some kids they'd need to go down earlier. Other kids it'd be best to maintain their usual schedule, with the understanding that they may be a little cranky.

Exactly. Op has more of a sitter.

I think that's probably right. She does no cooking or meal prep, no laundry, she can leave when my son naps etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Here's an example of why I'm asking. I work at home. When it's nap time for my LO, he knows he can come upstairs and say "hi" for 2 minutes before going to nap. (He's 18 months.) I set my work schedule so that I'm free during this time because it's a nice little visit. Today, nanny asked what time he should eat lunch, and I said 11:45, and she didn't get him back home until after 12.

It's not that is so late or anything, but now I'll be on a call when he comes up for nap, and I'm also frustrated that she specifically asked me and then just sort of ignored it.

I'm REALLY wary of being too hard on our nanny because I know the WAHM aspect can totally suck. So I'm generally pretty hands off. Anyway, today's issue started me thinking if WOHM tell their nanny's "nap time at 1 because he was up late today" or whatever.

FWIW, my kid is easy going and if you waited until he showed signs of being tired, it might be 5 pm! But, he goes to sleep really quickly when put down, so we tend to schedule based on timing rather than queues.

Anyway, just curious what happens in other households. I don't want to be too uptight, but I was frustrated today.

I would be flabbergasted if my MB said that. I'm a professional that was hired for my knowledge of child development. My MB might say something like "he was up late last night", and I usually ask how his night went, but she'd never tell me what to do in response to that. For some kids they'd need to go down earlier. Other kids it'd be best to maintain their usual schedule, with the understanding that they may be a little cranky.

Exactly. Op has more of a sitter.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Here's an example of why I'm asking. I work at home. When it's nap time for my LO, he knows he can come upstairs and say "hi" for 2 minutes before going to nap. (He's 18 months.) I set my work schedule so that I'm free during this time because it's a nice little visit. Today, nanny asked what time he should eat lunch, and I said 11:45, and she didn't get him back home until after 12.

It's not that is so late or anything, but now I'll be on a call when he comes up for nap, and I'm also frustrated that she specifically asked me and then just sort of ignored it.

I'm REALLY wary of being too hard on our nanny because I know the WAHM aspect can totally suck. So I'm generally pretty hands off. Anyway, today's issue started me thinking if WOHM tell their nanny's "nap time at 1 because he was up late today" or whatever.

FWIW, my kid is easy going and if you waited until he showed signs of being tired, it might be 5 pm! But, he goes to sleep really quickly when put down, so we tend to schedule based on timing rather than queues.

Anyway, just curious what happens in other households. I don't want to be too uptight, but I was frustrated today.

I would be flabbergasted if my MB said that. I'm a professional that was hired for my knowledge of child development. My MB might say something like "he was up late last night", and I usually ask how his night went, but she'd never tell me what to do in response to that. For some kids they'd need to go down earlier. Other kids it'd be best to maintain their usual schedule, with the understanding that they may be a little cranky.

In brief, tell nanny to please forget the two minute visit before nap. That's not a good time for an 18 month old child. Perhaps forget it, or ask if there's a better time that can be set in stone.

I usually set the schedule (nanny). In your situation, ID try to have him home for your visit most days, but I'm not going to make him leave the park or activity early if he's still having fun. I think you need to ask yourself, what's more important here? Your child enjoying his activities, or him being home for a 2 minute hello? Is it possible to rearrange your schedule to visit him during lunch?

Our nanny sets the schedule when she's with the kids - if there's something that will be happening that will impact the schedule (dr appointment, etc) then I'll let her know so that she can adjust accordingly but I trust her judgement.

OP here. Here's an example of why I'm asking. I work at home. When it's nap time for my LO, he knows he can come upstairs and say "hi" for 2 minutes before going to nap. (He's 18 months.) I set my work schedule so that I'm free during this time because it's a nice little visit. Today, nanny asked what time he should eat lunch, and I said 11:45, and she didn't get him back home until after 12.

It's not that is so late or anything, but now I'll be on a call when he comes up for nap, and I'm also frustrated that she specifically asked me and then just sort of ignored it.

I'm REALLY wary of being too hard on our nanny because I know the WAHM aspect can totally suck. So I'm generally pretty hands off. Anyway, today's issue started me thinking if WOHM tell their nanny's "nap time at 1 because he was up late today" or whatever.

FWIW, my kid is easy going and if you waited until he showed signs of being tired, it might be 5 pm! But, he goes to sleep really quickly when put down, so we tend to schedule based on timing rather than queues.

Anyway, just curious what happens in other households. I don't want to be too uptight, but I was frustrated today.

With a new child, am happy to follow a parent's lead. Then I'll see if it seems to be best overall.

How would a parent know what the child needs when they're gone?

In my house, I had a rough schedule, and the nanny followed it until activities or additional children meant it had to change.

But, I also only had a part time nanny when I only had two children, so it was important that we kept similar schedules with them.

If you're starting out with a full time nanny, hopefully she will be able to read your child's cues and put together a nap schedule that works.

Where this get sticky is when parents want to change a nap schedule that works well for the nanny during the week, but might not work well with bedtime or overnight sleep, or the parents can't/won't maintain on the weekend.

Hi, MB here and I'm just curious how this works in other households. Does the MB or DB tell you when to feed the child lunch and/or snacks, and when to go down for nap? Or is that something that you decide?