Your honesty is refreshing OP.

I have heard other mothers say this as well.

While they love their own child to death, they could not even fathom loving and caring for someone else's the same.

Not everyone is cut out to be a nanny. Some of my friends even tell me they could never do what I do.

It takes a certain amount of empathy, patience, creativity and energy to be a nanny.

One must genuinely love children since this is not easy work.

I personally find it gratifying to know that I am playing such a huge part in a young child's upbringing.
I hope to contribute something good to a child's life so that they will grow up to be a productive member of society and make the world a better place.

If I were a cashier at Target, it would be just a paycheck for me. Nannying means more.

Anonymous wrote:A nanny can't replace a mom or a dad, but if the real question is can a nanny do as good a job providing a happy, healthy and loving environment during the day as a stay-at-home-parent could, then the answer is yes, and often even better (because the nanny has the benefit of experience and down time at home each night). I have loved all of my charges dearly and still see most of them at least every few years (that includes several who live in other states). On a typical day, with my current charges (six-month-old twins) I arrive and wake them up by singing our special good morning song that I have sung them every day that I've seen them since I started work with them when they were only one week old. I get them ready for the day with lots of kisses and cuddles, feed them the solid food that I made from scratch, take them on walks and outings and do arts and crafts projects to give to their parents and grandparents, and tuck them in for naps by singing special lullabies. During naptime, I read up on developmental issues pertaining to their age and pertaining to months ahead. I research how to help them with things they are going through (teething at the moment) and plan and prepare for things that are coming (like the eight months sleep regression). There are other benefits to having a nanny that are more for the parents, such as unloading the dishwasher each morning, doing all of the babies laundry and washing all of their bottles, sanitizing their toys, and keeping the house tidy and organized during the day, but it seems that your main question is whether your child will feel loved and be positively engaged by someone who is not a parent. The answer is that there are many people like myself who absolutely love children, in many cases all children, but especially the children that we are allowed to borrow as nannies.

THis is a lovely answer. Would you go respond to the poster asking about whether it's possible to have a share situation with two infants? She hasn't gotten much helpful feedback and you're exactly the kind of nanny who could answer her questions.

A nanny can't replace a mom or a dad, but if the real question is can a nanny do as good a job providing a happy, healthy and loving environment during the day as a stay-at-home-parent could, then the answer is yes, and often even better (because the nanny has the benefit of experience and down time at home each night). I have loved all of my charges dearly and still see most of them at least every few years (that includes several who live in other states). On a typical day, with my current charges (six-month-old twins) I arrive and wake them up by singing our special good morning song that I have sung them every day that I've seen them since I started work with them when they were only one week old. I get them ready for the day with lots of kisses and cuddles, feed them the solid food that I made from scratch, take them on walks and outings and do arts and crafts projects to give to their parents and grandparents, and tuck them in for naps by singing special lullabies. During naptime, I read up on developmental issues pertaining to their age and pertaining to months ahead. I research how to help them with things they are going through (teething at the moment) and plan and prepare for things that are coming (like the eight months sleep regression). There are other benefits to having a nanny that are more for the parents, such as unloading the dishwasher each morning, doing all of the babies laundry and washing all of their bottles, sanitizing their toys, and keeping the house tidy and organized during the day, but it seems that your main question is whether your child will feel loved and be positively engaged by someone who is not a parent. The answer is that there are many people like myself who absolutely love children, in many cases all children, but especially the children that we are allowed to borrow as nannies.

I was raised by nannies who were changed out any time they got close or comfortable, and never close with my mother. I always wanted her. I never wanted the comfort of my nannies. So in that way, they can't be as good as a mom.

Can other people care about children other than their own? Yes, absolutely. I only like my two kids. Our nanny loves all kids and thinks they're all cute. She radiates out something and they flock to her. Your son can absolutely be well-cared for by a nanny.

I spent 13 years working with kids in the system because of abuse and neglect.

The virtually unbreakable power of a child's attachment to a mother, in the face of unimaginable damage, is astonishing.

None of this is relevant to OPs question however!

Sorry OP - I hope someone actually answers your question. (Unless you were just a troll trying to elicit this tired mother/nanny debate.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mom here. A nanny can provide absolutely wonderful, loving, stable, fantastic care. He/she can be a tremendous asset to a child's development, and a family's well-being. A great nanny is a terrific supplement in a child's world.

No one replaces mom. Ever. No matter the circumstances, no matter how great or poor the parenting. No one replaces a mother in a child's eyes and heart.

Your response is a little over the top.
Some adopted children don't even remember their birth mothers.

Agree. My mother died just after myv4th birthday. I barely remember her but I remember the nanny who took care of me untiI I was 6 yrs old.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mom here. A nanny can provide absolutely wonderful, loving, stable, fantastic care. He/she can be a tremendous asset to a child's development, and a family's well-being. A great nanny is a terrific supplement in a child's world.

No one replaces mom. Ever. No matter the circumstances, no matter how great or poor the parenting. No one replaces a mother in a child's eyes and heart.

Your response is a little over the top.
Some adopted children don't even remember their birth mothers.

OP here. I kind of agree with the original pp. this is because I have a dear friend who became an overnight stepmom to 4 kids when the state revoked the mom's custody for some kind of emotional abuse. Her visitation is now 1x per month, supervised, no visitation, and phone calls once per week. The mom never calls and never does visitation. She sporadically sends birthday and Christmas gifts. Once she sent the oldest daughter, now a teen, $5, saying it was all she could afford. My friend has done everything to stabilize the lives of these kids. Every birthday is celebrated with fanfare. Every holiday is made special. Every weekend there is a kid-oriented activity. This past Christmas she bought them a trip to Disney. Privately she lamented to me that they made more of a fuss over the gifts their mom sent them- sweatshirts from Walmart with sports teams they don't even watch/like. Those kids will always love their mom, no matter how lousy a mom she is.

Anonymous wrote:Mom here. A nanny can provide absolutely wonderful, loving, stable, fantastic care. He/she can be a tremendous asset to a child's development, and a family's well-being. A great nanny is a terrific supplement in a child's world.

No one replaces mom. Ever. No matter the circumstances, no matter how great or poor the parenting. No one replaces a mother in a child's eyes and heart.

Your response is a little over the top.
Some adopted children don't even remember their birth mothers.

Mom here. A nanny can provide absolutely wonderful, loving, stable, fantastic care. He/she can be a tremendous asset to a child's development, and a family's well-being. A great nanny is a terrific supplement in a child's world.

No one replaces mom. Ever. No matter the circumstances, no matter how great or poor the parenting. No one replaces a mother in a child's eyes and heart.

The thread title is a bit provocative, but here goes. I am returning to work after 1.5 years. DS doesn't like our hourly daycare. I leave him there 1-2 times per week, and he cries so much that I have to go back and sit with him for 1-2 hours before I can leave again. Part of this is his separation anxiety. Part of it, I think, is the day care is not a good fit. While I have sat there, I've observed the staff. They are just too busy. When the toddlers are fussy, they are ignored. No one plays with them-they play independently. The role of the staff is to break up fights, change them, feed them, and essentially keep them alive and comfortable. Some staff are better than others. At snack time, one lady consistently does sign language with them, teaches them a little meal time song, involves them in cleaning, etc, but for the most part it is survival mode in there. I'm not trying to criticize, that just seems like reality in the toddler room. Unfortunately, my son can't handle it. The other kids are totally fine, but it's not the right fit.

The reason u liked the idea of day care was for socialization and learning group dynamics. The day care kids are very well behaved. But for the reasons above, I think we will hire a nanny.

On a personal note, I am totally disinterested in other kids. I really dislike babysitting. I adore my kid, and I find that providing the best life for him is tiring and takes a lot of energy. By best life, I mean he is loved, spends lots of time outdoors, has opportunities to socialize with other kids, has regular exposure to books, music, art, and nature, eats whole foods, and has a clean environment. I can be precious about this stuff because he's my one and only! I can't imagine putting this level of care into a child other than my own. Again, kind of why I liked the daycare thing because I assume a good daycare would structure the day around play, art, socialization etc.

It's hard for me to relate to the nanny mindset-taking care of my own kid is a journey-I can't imagine taking care of someone else's kid with that level of care. Nannies-Please tell me about your passion for taking care of kids and your philosophy of child care. I would love to hear about it. Thanks!