HI Mom- Please look at the cams to see if something is not done right by this nanny.
also find a new nanny. we as parents tend to not read the signs of our young one until it is late. thanks

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would consider a new childcare arrangement.

This could be a wonderful loving nanny, however he just may not have good chemistry with her. It wouldn't be anyone's fault, it may all just be a weak match.

He is 15 months old. This has nothing to do with chemistry and everything to do with normal child development. As OP said, he is fine for the entire day, the only issues are at drop-off and pick-up. OP is the "problem" (I say this lightly because there isn't really a problem here, just some behaviors that need re-working) here, not her child and not the nanny.

Try to refrain from commenting when you have no clue what you are talking about.

Sounds like you're the one who doesn't know what you're talking about! Sometimes kids don't like someone just because. And if the child cries at drop-off, pick-up, it's not necessarily the parents' fault! I've witnessed this with my toddler daughter. She has a few different babysitters and her regular one she has known the longest and they clearly love each other, but... my daughter always cries and clamors for us as soon as we walk in the room. With her other two sitters, she is perfectly content to stay with them in the same situation, even though they don't have the same bond with her. The only thing I can think of is that her regular sitter is about 60 y.o. vs. the two other sitters are in their 20s and kids tend to like young people better. It's not our, the parents' fault, that our daughter cries, nor anyone else's. It just is.

Agree with PP. No reason to keep riding it out. Glad you made the switch.

I am a nanny and a similar situation happened with one of my charges. I was filling in for one day a week and a young girl (3yo) had separation anxiety and cried every day with the nanny. The ONLY time she cried with me was when she thought I was other nanny. They got rid of other nanny right away. I honestly don't think she was mistreating the child but rather just uninterested in the child and the child was obviously unhappy with the situation. I'm glad you followed your child's lead! I'm surprised that the responses you received were to just ride it out or worse, blame the parent! So typical of dcum.

Glad things are going better for you. I'm a nanny and I know not everyone clicks with everyone. I've quit a job or two because the child and I weren't a good match and I feel like the kid deserves to spend their day with someone they like and who likes them back.

Anonymous wrote:OP here - we ended up changing nannies for other reasons and my son loves this new nanny. No issues whatsoever with drop off - he usually waves goodbye and is off playing with the nanny immediately upon arrival. I agree sometimes the issue is the parent not wanting to say goodbye but sometimes it's the kid letting you know he's not happy. Glad all is well now.

Glad it's going well, OP!

OP here - we ended up changing nannies for other reasons and my son loves this new nanny. No issues whatsoever with drop off - he usually waves goodbye and is off playing with the nanny immediately upon arrival. I agree sometimes the issue is the parent not wanting to say goodbye but sometimes it's the kid letting you know he's not happy. Glad all is well now.

https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/toddler/Pages/Soothing-Your-Childs-Separation-Anxiety.aspx

Yep. Sounds like classic separation anxiety. I am sure he warms up to the nanny as soon as you are out the door. The other kid either is already past this phase or has parents who don't play into the behavior or both. If you really just don't like/trust your nanny, then go ahead and look for something else, but I would do so fully prepared for tantrums at drop off amd pickup to continue regardless.

Anonymous wrote:I would consider a new childcare arrangement.

This could be a wonderful loving nanny, however he just may not have good chemistry with her. It wouldn't be anyone's fault, it may all just be a weak match.

He is 15 months old. This has nothing to do with chemistry and everything to do with normal child development. As OP said, he is fine for the entire day, the only issues are at drop-off and pick-up. OP is the "problem" (I say this lightly because there isn't really a problem here, just some behaviors that need re-working) here, not her child and not the nanny.

Try to refrain from commenting when you have no clue what you are talking about.

I would consider a new childcare arrangement.

This could be a wonderful loving nanny, however he just may not have good chemistry with her. It wouldn't be anyone's fault, it may all just be a weak match.

As others have said, this is pretty par for the course with children this age. The other child may simply have a different temperament than your child, which is why he doesn't react as strongly. But I do agree that often parents, whether consciously or not, encourage the behavior. I had one mom that would almost force her daughter to cry when she left in order to feed her need to know her child missed her.

You need to make transitions as quick and matter of fact as possible, while also giving warning that the transition is coming. Before dropoff let DC know he's going to have lots fun with nanny while mommy goes to work. Repeat this as you do the handover. One hug and kiss, and out the door. Ask nanny to send you a picture once he calms down to reassure you that he's okay. Have her prepare him in the same way in the evening. A few days of this routine and he will get it.

You are the problem OP. You are promoting this behavior in some way. Either you are dragging out your goodbyes or are acting nervous at dropped/pickup and your child is feeling that. I've been a nanny for 15 years and can say that 99% of the time, the child calms down about 30 seconds after their parent's walk out the door.

Mom here. I actually read this as a situation where you are probably as big an issue as the nanny OP. Try looking at your behavior around drop-off and pick-up. Do you make a big deal out of it? Do you respond very affectionately to emotional displays from your child? Is he sensing your concern for him and (as all kids will) finding ways to increase the attention he is receiving?

Some of this behavior is absolutely normal. But if you want it to diminish (and you have no other reason for concern) then I'd suggest looking at how you're managing those times, and perhaps asking the nanny if she has suggestions on how to handle it differently.

As long as he's fine within minutes of you leaving in the morning and he isn't looking around for you in the afternoon until you actually even get there, he is bonding with the nanny. He's 15 months, it's normal to be clingy at pick up and drop off, the best that can be done is make transitions as quick and pain-free as possible.

My son (15 months) is part of a nanny share with one other kid his age. The nanny has been watching them for 5 months now, 3 days a week. My son still has not warmed up to her. He clutches me when I drop him off in the morning and I often have to leave him crying/wailing. The nanny tells me that he calms down in less than a minute and is fine the rest of the day. When I pick him up, he immediately cries when he sees me and comes over to be held and points to the door to leave. How do I know if this is just typical behaviour that he wants to be with his mom or if I should look for a different situation? The other kid seems fine with the nanny. I want my son to get used to different personalities/people but don't want him in a situation that is counterproductive.