I am the same poster from 02/10/2016 22:45. I highly recommend you not have lunch with your kids. I only come down to eat after they are done and when my younger one is napping. I used to eat when both napped but my older one recently stopped. I most often take my lunch to my office as well. It is best to not be around if you want your kids to engage and listen to your au pair.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will be returning to work soon and working from home 95% of the time. We get our first AP in a few months. So this is a great question.

We saw a nationally renowned behavioral specialist a few weeks ago to discuss the transition with our Au Pair and ask for suggestions on who to make it smooth with discipline, etc.

One thing she said to us was that I MUST stay in my office when the kids are home. There needs to be a lock on my office door and preferably a solid door where my kids can't see in. The other great tip was to develop a red light, green light system. I have a red circle on my door when my kids are not allowed to visit me and it shows that mommy is busy, working and can't be interrupted. Then I should have a green circle "light" on the door when I know I can see them for a few minutes such as when they are about to have lunch or come home from preschool, etc...

I have the same age kids as you do at home so I can relate. I just have not tried the red/green circle yet but it makes sense. Good luck!

I think the red sign is a good idea. If I was the caregiver in that situation, I wouldn't put the green sign on the door. If the Au Pair is trying to do something with them, go somewhere with them or something like that, the green sign may override her authority. I would hate if I just distracted kids with an activity and the green sign came out, they see their mom for a minute and then I have to distract them all over again just just a few minutes of mom time. I think the green sign has the potential of getting in the Au pair's way and I think her job is already hard enough with you being there all day.

The green sign could screw up a good morning or afternoon completely! Depending on the AP and kids, making a point to do lunch every day (or M/W/F or whatever schedule you can do) with kids can work, even if it means that AP makes lunch with the kids and they are eating when you step in for 4 minutes to talk to the kids and take yours back to your office.

Anonymous wrote:I will be returning to work soon and working from home 95% of the time. We get our first AP in a few months. So this is a great question.

We saw a nationally renowned behavioral specialist a few weeks ago to discuss the transition with our Au Pair and ask for suggestions on who to make it smooth with discipline, etc.

One thing she said to us was that I MUST stay in my office when the kids are home. There needs to be a lock on my office door and preferably a solid door where my kids can't see in. The other great tip was to develop a red light, green light system. I have a red circle on my door when my kids are not allowed to visit me and it shows that mommy is busy, working and can't be interrupted. Then I should have a green circle "light" on the door when I know I can see them for a few minutes such as when they are about to have lunch or come home from preschool, etc...

I have the same age kids as you do at home so I can relate. I just have not tried the red/green circle yet but it makes sense. Good luck!

I think the red sign is a good idea. If I was the caregiver in that situation, I wouldn't put the green sign on the door. If the Au Pair is trying to do something with them, go somewhere with them or something like that, the green sign may override her authority. I would hate if I just distracted kids with an activity and the green sign came out, they see their mom for a minute and then I have to distract them all over again just just a few minutes of mom time. I think the green sign has the potential of getting in the Au pair's way and I think her job is already hard enough with you being there all day.

Anonymous wrote:It works really well if you are disciplined.

This.
Consistency is the key.

I have worked from home full time for 3 years and am on a lot of calls. What works best is a private office on a different floor with a closed, preferably, locked door. I have never had my kids run in or even knock in all three years. I have a 3.5 year old and 15 month old. I make a point to say goodbye every morning and let them know I am going to work. I dont come in and out of my office except for lunch. I also only communicate with our au pair via text. It works really well if you are disciplined.

I'm having a hard time trying to figure out how this is happening as often as it is. Where is your AP? And where is your office in relation to the rest of the house? If it is on the same floor as the kids, try to block off the area. But I would focus more on two things: 1) making sure your AP is with your children all the time and 2) getting them on a schedule that gets them out of the house more.

Our kids are 3 and 5 and I work from home three days a week. I have my desk in our guest bedroom upstairs so the only time the kids are upstairs is when they go to the bathroom. Yes, they have poked their head in to say hi, but I started to put a big homemade stop sign on the closed door and said they were not allowed to knock or come in if that sign was up.

While our kids are now in part time preschool and our AP had her own car, this wasn't always the case. When they were younger and the AP didn't have a car, they still went out of the house for a good portion of the day for rec classes, story hour, park time and play dates. They would come home for naps and sometimes lunch.

My one funny work from home story - I had to put a national call that I was hosting with about 30 people on hold because the baby was crying in her bed (we were trying to sleep train) to tell my AP to please go pick her up!!!. things happen and people understand.

I will be returning to work soon and working from home 95% of the time. We get our first AP in a few months. So this is a great question.

We saw a nationally renowned behavioral specialist a few weeks ago to discuss the transition with our Au Pair and ask for suggestions on who to make it smooth with discipline, etc.

One thing she said to us was that I MUST stay in my office when the kids are home. There needs to be a lock on my office door and preferably a solid door where my kids can't see in. The other great tip was to develop a red light, green light system. I have a red circle on my door when my kids are not allowed to visit me and it shows that mommy is busy, working and can't be interrupted. Then I should have a green circle "light" on the door when I know I can see them for a few minutes such as when they are about to have lunch or come home from preschool, etc...

I have the same age kids as you do at home so I can relate. I just have not tried the red/green circle yet but it makes sense. Good luck!

I also hate working from home for this exact reason - and my older child is in school 8-3 and the younger one is in pre-school in the morning and naps for a few hours in the afternoon -- and it's still hard for the other 4 hours or so ! I end up locking the door to the den (where my desk is), but that still doesn't make it perfect. I basically have to give my AP the times I will definitely be on the phone and tell her she HAS to keep them away from the office during those times - take them to the park, library, whatever. But I still have those moments where I'm frantically waving at her on mute to GET THEM OUT OF HERE!!!

I work from home on Fridays and on those days, I try to be invisible and silent - so that the children can forget I'm there. I get breakfast before AP is on duty and I get lunch while baby is napping and preschooler is at school. I also lock the door. I'd probably do time outs if this was happening several times a day - sounds like the kids have made a game out of disrupting your work.

But, I have to say, it really does sound like your AP is not up to the job. Why does it take her time to notice the kids are your office?

Most people would never entertain the thought of a parent at home all the time. Recipe for failure 99% of the time. GL.

Anonymous wrote:I work from home a couple of days a week, and when my children were your children's ages, I had to work in the library to be able to work uninterrupted. Our house didn't have a separate office that could completely close off, and I just could not get uninterrupted work time. I was very productive in the library and got a lot of writing done. The one year we lived in a place that didn't have a quiet library nearby, I actually swapped walking a dog at midday for using the people's house to work in, and it was great for both parties (their dog with separation anxiety loved having me over, and I loved having my "own space" to write in).

Does your office close off completely and is it in a separate wing or on a separate floor? If so, then you need to explain to the children, with AP present, that they cannot come to your floor/wing at all. If you have time, you will come to them, but they can never come to you. If you don't have a place that closes off, then I think it's going to be a hard deal. No matter how good the AP, it's hard for a childcare provider to compete with the possibility of seeing mommy for your children, especially if mommy isn't closed off from where they are playing. You may want to have a candid conversation with the AP and find out if they can hear you from their playspace, in which case I think unfortuantely you are going to either need to find another place to work (another room in your house or another space all together) or else your children are going to have to be gone from your house much more (think:story hour followed by library time followed by picnic, etc).

This! Either the children can't see you (and your office door!) and they can't hear you, or something needs to change. It's not hard for a nanny to keep kids out of the house except for naps, but for an AP, it would be much harder. Have you talked with the AP about activities and a schedule for the children?

I work from home a couple of days a week, and when my children were your children's ages, I had to work in the library to be able to work uninterrupted. Our house didn't have a separate office that could completely close off, and I just could not get uninterrupted work time. I was very productive in the library and got a lot of writing done. The one year we lived in a place that didn't have a quiet library nearby, I actually swapped walking a dog at midday for using the people's house to work in, and it was great for both parties (their dog with separation anxiety loved having me over, and I loved having my "own space" to write in).

Does your office close off completely and is it in a separate wing or on a separate floor? If so, then you need to explain to the children, with AP present, that they cannot come to your floor/wing at all. If you have time, you will come to them, but they can never come to you. If you don't have a place that closes off, then I think it's going to be a hard deal. No matter how good the AP, it's hard for a childcare provider to compete with the possibility of seeing mommy for your children, especially if mommy isn't closed off from where they are playing. You may want to have a candid conversation with the AP and find out if they can hear you from their playspace, in which case I think unfortuantely you are going to either need to find another place to work (another room in your house or another space all together) or else your children are going to have to be gone from your house much more (think:story hour followed by library time followed by picnic, etc).

I work from home, and have an AP who arrived 4 months ago. My kids are 2 & 4, so they are home a good portion of the day when I am working. Since AP started, my kids regularly barge into my office. They have never done this with nannies in the past, and given the amount of time it takes for AP to notice they are in my office and come retrieve them, I am guessing that she is not all that actively engaged with them or keeping their attention.

I have made it clear I am working and the kids need to stay out of my office, especially when I am on the phone. But they scream that they want me, and beat on the door. Are there any tools I can give AP to keep them engaged during the day?