Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$40 a week seems like a lot to ask for a few minutes of extra work two days a week. I can see why the MB felt she was being taken advantage of.

Because twice a week will become 3 then 4 then 5. Then they'll be making specific requests. Then they'll want her to do the shopping since she's making dinner anyway. Do you think they'll offer more compensation for this extra work? No. They're entitled. This nanny realizes that this request is going to lead to more than a few minutes of extra work for her. She's basically taking on the dinner responsibilities for the entire family.

If she is really worried that this is a slippery slope to hell, then shouldn't her NF also be concerned that when she comes in late or leaves early that eventually she'll only be showing up 1/2 the time?

You're assuming that there is an equality to this dynamic. They are the employers. If they are worried about her showing up late, they can easily say something and eventually replace her. If nanny doesn't like something her employers do, she has far less power or options to change it. She can only find a new job, and bouncing from job to job looks bad on a nanny resume. Employers should not ask their employees for favors or free work. It simply isn't fair.

But it's ok for employees to ask for extra paid time off? Both parties have the same recourse - ending the relationship.

Look up the hourly rates of personal chefs/cooks. $40/week is nothing, and they should be grateful.

Anonymous wrote:I can't really see how this is more work except that the pot/pan the food is in will be heavier. Other than that, to double the recipe is nothing.

Nanny here. I cook from scratch, and there is a huge difference. If I'm making vegetable soup for kids, I'm only going to cube 1/2-1 of each vegetable, but if I'm making the recipe for two kids and their parents, I have to prep more. If everything comes out of a box, then yes, it's just a matter of the pan being larger and heavier. But OP said that the nanny cooks from scratch, and that means longer prep times.

I can't really see how this is more work except that the pot/pan the food is in will be heavier. Other than that, to double the recipe is nothing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$40 a week seems like a lot to ask for a few minutes of extra work two days a week. I can see why the MB felt she was being taken advantage of.

Because twice a week will become 3 then 4 then 5. Then they'll be making specific requests. Then they'll want her to do the shopping since she's making dinner anyway. Do you think they'll offer more compensation for this extra work? No. They're entitled. This nanny realizes that this request is going to lead to more than a few minutes of extra work for her. She's basically taking on the dinner responsibilities for the entire family.

If she is really worried that this is a slippery slope to hell, then shouldn't her NF also be concerned that when she comes in late or leaves early that eventually she'll only be showing up 1/2 the time?

You're assuming that there is an equality to this dynamic. They are the employers. If they are worried about her showing up late, they can easily say something and eventually replace her. If nanny doesn't like something her employers do, she has far less power or options to change it. She can only find a new job, and bouncing from job to job looks bad on a nanny resume. Employers should not ask their employees for favors or free work. It simply isn't fair.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$40 a week seems like a lot to ask for a few minutes of extra work two days a week. I can see why the MB felt she was being taken advantage of.

Because twice a week will become 3 then 4 then 5. Then they'll be making specific requests. Then they'll want her to do the shopping since she's making dinner anyway. Do you think they'll offer more compensation for this extra work? No. They're entitled. This nanny realizes that this request is going to lead to more than a few minutes of extra work for her. She's basically taking on the dinner responsibilities for the entire family.

If she is really worried that this is a slippery slope to hell, then shouldn't her NF also be concerned that when she comes in late or leaves early that eventually she'll only be showing up 1/2 the time?

Anonymous wrote:$40 a week seems like a lot to ask for a few minutes of extra work two days a week. I can see why the MB felt she was being taken advantage of.

It also sets up an acrimonious relationship. You can't possibly ask to be compensated for a few minutes of extra work while not accounting for showing up late, leaving early etc. It's either loosey-goosey all the way, or everyone plays and pays by the books, meaning nanny should not be paid for the few minutes she is late or needs to leave early. If nanny can't see that asking for the $40 is stabbing the previously-loosey-goosey set up in the eye, then I suspect she'll also be surprised when she is let go.

Anonymous wrote:$40 a week seems like a lot to ask for a few minutes of extra work two days a week. I can see why the MB felt she was being taken advantage of.

Because twice a week will become 3 then 4 then 5. Then they'll be making specific requests. Then they'll want her to do the shopping since she's making dinner anyway. Do you think they'll offer more compensation for this extra work? No. They're entitled. This nanny realizes that this request is going to lead to more than a few minutes of extra work for her. She's basically taking on the dinner responsibilities for the entire family.

$40 a week seems like a lot to ask for a few minutes of extra work two days a week. I can see why the MB felt she was being taken advantage of.

The nanny is right and the MB is a cheap bitch.

The MB in this situation sounds like a pain in the ass. I'm sure the nanny is flexible with them in other ways, but she has a boundary with adding uncompensated duties. What nanny doesn't. Obviously this family would be better off simply employing the housekeeper to do everything, but that doesn't mean the nanny needs to lower her expectations just to keep the job. She should be looking for a new job where her boundaries will be respected, her duties will be respected, and her bosses don't treat her as though she owes them free service.

Yep, if I'm the MB in this scenario I'm phasing out the nanny and cutting back on any of the uncounted extra time off.

The nanny can't reasonably expect to continue to enjoy flexibility on time from her employer if she is not being flexible in return (assuming we can take this scenario at face value.)

Also, as the kids age the housekeeper's role will become far more important than the nanny's role. Which is totally fine. Perhaps the nanny is ready to move on also. But I think she's quickening the pace - consciously or not.

Nothing, unless the nanny is directly responsible for the 3rd grader after school.

I would just let the nanny go. And employ the HK fulltime. Especially if she is already trusted with the kids. Put the younger ones in a half day program if needed.

If the HK is staying until 6 anyway why would they need the nanny there too for two kids.

If I was the nanny I would fig my days were numbered and start looking.

Thought I would share a topic from another group and see what you all feel


A question was posed from the moderator, that her MB client asked


Part of our nanny's job description is to cook healthy meals for our 2 kids from scratch. Now that they're getting older and eating later we asked her to start doubling the recipe twice a week so we can come home and enjoy dinner time with our kids. She will only do it for an extra $40 a week. Both my husband and I feel this is an overstep. She often takes off here and there for personal things and we don't dock her hours but now that we're asking her to do a little extra work, she wants to be paid for it. It feels selfish. Are we overreacting? What's typical in this situation?"

Here is the outcome from MB to nanny


Someone is getting a nice raise. But it's not the nanny. Background: the mom talked to the nanny after work today and the nanny says she's happy in the job but doesn't think it's fair to add any tasks without adding more money. The mom agrees in theory but is upset there's not more flexibility since they go above and beyond for the nanny. (The housekeeper fills in frequently when the nanny wants to come in late or go home early and the family never docks the nanny even though they're also having to pay the housekeeper extra.) And the mom just isn't going to pay more for someone to simply double a recipe when they're cooking already.

This family has employed this housekeeper for the last 9 years, 4 years before they had kids. She works 2 days a week from 9 to 2. The mom asked her if she'd be willing to move her hours so she's off at 6 instead of 2 and be willing to add cooking a family dinner to her responsibilities. The housekeeper said she'd be happy to help out if she can have her 3rd grader dropped off at the employer's home after school. Fine with the family. The housekeeper didn't ask for a raise but the mom is going to provide one.

So while I'm guessing the nanny is happy she doesn't have to do the extra cooking I don't think she's going to be happy with the ripple effect this will have.


Would love some opinion from this group, what would you do if you were the nanny this happened to?