Anonymous wrote:What is going on with the breakfast dishes that people keep complaining about? What are adults eating for breakfast that takes up multiple dishes and cleaning?

Anonymous wrote:Its a really slippery slope OP. This is the one part of my job I have grown to resent. Once I did it the dishes just kept growing. They used to apologize for leaving a mess and now they just walk out the door. Once you start its really hard to stop and it's just one more thing on your to do list. It's passive aggressive but I would send a text saying oh hey did you want me to get that while the kids sleep? Or not do it at all. That way they hopefully can have a min to think about how inappropriate it is to have you doing the dishes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MB here, and I may be like your MB. I have had three nannies, and the two that ended up being with us long term just went along with the flow of the household, which is basically "clean up if you have the time and the inclanation." If one of the kids are sick, or you spent all morning at the zoo, and you just want to relax while they nap in the afternoon or you are spending the afternoon making a potty training sticker chart, and you can't or sont want to do the dishes, that's fine by me. I will do them. And if I can't or don't want to do the dishes one day, then you will return the favor.
We had one nanny who wasn't with us long who did what the pp above suggested, and she would just handwash *her* dishes and leave the rest for me. It was really passive aggressive. She was like that with a lot of things and seemed to think that every mess was some kind of signal to her. Like if one of the kids left their bike in the yard, she would see it as being left for her to pick up.
My advice is to do the dishes or don't. If you don't have te to do the dishes one day, your MB isn't going to fire you. And if you sometimes leave her the kids lunch dishes to do, then maybe you won't feel so put put by the whole thing. This isn't a signal about what your job duties. It's just dishes.

This is ridiculous. For one, most people don't go through three nannies. I would never, absolutely never, leave dishes from the day for the parents to clean up. I can and will find the time to clean up after myself. This isn't a give and take, iris you taking and taking more.

OP, I had this issue, and still do to an extent. I can handle breakfast dishes that have apparently become my responsibility, but I am absolutely not cleaning your entire kitchen and your dinner mess from the night before. I always try to pitch in to help the house run smoothly but there are a couple times I've walked in to a complete disaster. One day I piled all their dirty dishes into a pile on the counter and in the sink. I couldn't even use the counter to make lunch had I not done this. MB came home and asked what the mess was. I said I didn't know as it wasn't our mess. I'm not your damn housekeeper. Hire one or clean up after yourself. When the baby was younger I hand washed everything. This behavior started when I started sharing the dishwasher.

Anonymous wrote:I've been with my nanny family just over a year, they have a 2 year old and a 10 month old. Usually baby has a short morning nap and they both nap for 1.5-2 hours in the afternoon, but yesterday was rough as both kids weren't feeling well, and neither napped well and their naps didn't overlap at all. I still rinsed all our dishes from the day in the afternoon and washed them in the dishwasher; it was full of clean dishes (and the sink was empty) when I left at 5pm. Today when I arrived at 8am MB excitedly told me that both children had slept through the night (down at 8pm, awake at 7:30am), then she and DB hurried off to work. The dishwasher has not been emptied, and the sink is full of dirty dishes from dinner last night and MB and DBs breakfast (I make breakfast for the kids when I arrive). I checked their calendar as some nights one or both parents have things going on, but there was nothing.

I've been noticing a lot of small instances of job creep lately; there have been several times recently when I show up in the morning and MB and DB have left one mug and one plate and one fork each from breakfast, but I've just gone ahead and washed them myself because I want to be helpful and just a couple extra plates is no big deal. There have been other things like the fact that MB and DB used to always arrive home 5-10 mins early so we could have a quick chat about the day and I could still leave on time, but lately they're arriving right at 5 or a few mins after and still expecting me to stay and chat for 5 or more mins, etc.

What would you do? I guess there are two questions I need to answer:
1. Should I do their dirty dishes from when I was off duty or should I leave them in the sink?
2. Should I say anything about it?

When they hired me they told me no chores were required as my main responsibility was taking care of the children. I told them (verbally) I'd be happy to wash the dishes we dirtied throughout the day and try to keep the house tidy. The contact mentions child care but does not mention dishes or any chores. But I always use afternoon nap time to do dishes, tidy up the kitchen and play areas, and occasionally run a load of kids laundry if needed. If I don't do their dishes today it will be the first day they'll come home to dirty dishes in the sink since I started working with them. I don't want them to be upset or think I'm being passive aggressive. I also don't think they fully understand (since I've never specifically said to them that I only wash dishes I dirty myself in the course of my day with the children and not the parents dishes); I'm their first nanny and I took over when grandma was no longer able to provide full time care and I'm sure she didn't differentiate between parents dishes and her own dishes and the baby's dishes.

So what should I do?

Anonymous wrote:MB here, and I may be like your MB. I have had three nannies, and the two that ended up being with us long term just went along with the flow of the household, which is basically "clean up if you have the time and the inclanation." If one of the kids are sick, or you spent all morning at the zoo, and you just want to relax while they nap in the afternoon or you are spending the afternoon making a potty training sticker chart, and you can't or sont want to do the dishes, that's fine by me. I will do them. And if I can't or don't want to do the dishes one day, then you will return the favor.
We had one nanny who wasn't with us long who did what the pp above suggested, and she would just handwash *her* dishes and leave the rest for me. It was really passive aggressive. She was like that with a lot of things and seemed to think that every mess was some kind of signal to her. Like if one of the kids left their bike in the yard, she would see it as being left for her to pick up.
My advice is to do the dishes or don't. If you don't have te to do the dishes one day, your MB isn't going to fire you. And if you sometimes leave her the kids lunch dishes to do, then maybe you won't feel so put put by the whole thing. This isn't a signal about what your job duties. It's just dishes.

Anonymous wrote:I would do them. For what ever reason they did not. Its not unreasonable to leave a few dishes in the sink. This is their home.