Please get yourself a new job and move on. Never mind giving her notice. She'll probably have a temper tantrum and then 'fire' you on the spot. Parents like that are nothing but a nightmare. You just can't help them get better. BTDT.

Again, please move on asap. GL.

Anonymous wrote:to the second poster:
it's all true what you're saying....but with the mother being there and yelling at the kids non stop, it's very hard.
it's her that doesn't discipline her kids, that doesn't back me up with discipline. the kids are getting in trouble everywhere in public..schools, bus, sports...and the mother blames it all on other people. she is very rude to me, even to her mom and husband. the husband doesn't come home anymore until very late, I guess he's trying to avoid her as well.
I've only stayed so long because I have no family here, and have been attending a very demanding college program that I was not allowed to quit. Now that I am done with that and accepted a second job, and realized how wonderful other jobs can be which also pay more, I came to the conclusion that I have to get rid of this one...I was just trying to figure out if I am overreacting.
I mean, any nannies out there...how would you feel if you had 5 hours after school do run a household, do homework, cook dinner (and yes, it takes at 2-3 hours cooking, cutting, preparing, cleaning up after dinner, doing 100 dishes), prepare lunches for 4 kids for the next day, all while all 4 kids are around, sometimes 1 or 2 are at sports or somewhere, sometimes there are additional kids for playdates.
I guess my major problem is the mother...and the constant texting and telling me every 5min what to do...within 5 hours (Ohhh I can't find my phone, I need you to get that for me at the store, I can't find my jacket...) aaghhh!!!!
I consider myself a great nanny as a put a lot of value into education, healthy eating, discipline and safety. but she puts me down in front of her kids. everytime I teach the kids how to eat halthy, she hands them crackers, goldfish, potato chips...
I don't even know how to quit. I asked them for more money, I complained many times, she doesn't seem to want to pay more money, although I'm waiting to see what her and her husbands offer for a salary will be. Anyways..thank you for your responses, I truly appreciate them. After reading many nanny forums I realize that I put myself into this dilema, but the fact that I have nobody to support me makes it very difficult to quit. I do have savings and hopefully the other part-time job will keep me for now. I've been looking for new jobs here and there for months and turned many down. But now I"m ready to run!
Thank you again!

You are explaining everything. You're looking for sympathy, not advice.

Either get out and count your blessings. Or deal with the situation.

Sorry, but 4 kids while doing housework and cooking isn't that hard, I did it with 7 kids for over a year. And if mom yells at the kids, that sounds like her mode of discipline. If the kids are acting up everywhere, there are issues, but as I said, I've never met a nanny who had zero control after at least a year with the kids. You aren't effective, you need to move on and they need for either mom to step up and be a SAHM so that she can change things, or they need a new nanny who can be effective.

However much you might be to blame for letting it get this bad is irrelevant. It's bad and you're unhappy. Make sure your family #2 is still willing to offer you more days, give notice to this family and start 2016 with a new and better job.

Yes, I totally agree OP.

The job sounds like hell. You are being abused BIG time by your employer and it needs to stop.

You are being overworked, underpaid and your boss is sure trying to get every dollar out of you.

The longer you stay, the worse it will get. I can promise you that one hundred percent. Nothing will improve if you stay, so do yourself a huge favor and start the New Year off with a new job. Take the part-time position stat.

How do you quit? You give 2 weeks notice and leave. Sounds like you don't have a contract so you don't need to give 4 weeks.

to the second poster:
it's all true what you're saying....but with the mother being there and yelling at the kids non stop, it's very hard.
it's her that doesn't discipline her kids, that doesn't back me up with discipline. the kids are getting in trouble everywhere in public..schools, bus, sports...and the mother blames it all on other people. she is very rude to me, even to her mom and husband. the husband doesn't come home anymore until very late, I guess he's trying to avoid her as well.
I've only stayed so long because I have no family here, and have been attending a very demanding college program that I was not allowed to quit. Now that I am done with that and accepted a second job, and realized how wonderful other jobs can be which also pay more, I came to the conclusion that I have to get rid of this one...I was just trying to figure out if I am overreacting.
I mean, any nannies out there...how would you feel if you had 5 hours after school do run a household, do homework, cook dinner (and yes, it takes at 2-3 hours cooking, cutting, preparing, cleaning up after dinner, doing 100 dishes), prepare lunches for 4 kids for the next day, all while all 4 kids are around, sometimes 1 or 2 are at sports or somewhere, sometimes there are additional kids for playdates.
I guess my major problem is the mother...and the constant texting and telling me every 5min what to do...within 5 hours (Ohhh I can't find my phone, I need you to get that for me at the store, I can't find my jacket...) aaghhh!!!!
I consider myself a great nanny as a put a lot of value into education, healthy eating, discipline and safety. but she puts me down in front of her kids. everytime I teach the kids how to eat halthy, she hands them crackers, goldfish, potato chips...
I don't even know how to quit. I asked them for more money, I complained many times, she doesn't seem to want to pay more money, although I'm waiting to see what her and her husbands offer for a salary will be. Anyways..thank you for your responses, I truly appreciate them. After reading many nanny forums I realize that I put myself into this dilema, but the fact that I have nobody to support me makes it very difficult to quit. I do have savings and hopefully the other part-time job will keep me for now. I've been looking for new jobs here and there for months and turned many down. But now I"m ready to run!
Thank you again!

I have so many issues with the way this is worded, but I'll tackle it piece by piece anyway.

No benefits, no health insurance, 25 hours per week at $16/hour. It's up to the nanny to negotiate for what she wants and needs. You said that you have vacation, but never took it. That's on you. If you have a contract, you are entitled to everything in the contract. Why you started at $10-12 per hour makes no sense to me, nor why you would be working now as a housekeeper who also is responsible for 4 children, but only making $16/hour.

You were the nanny, but it has evolved into housekeeper with limited babysitter tasks (just keep the kids from killing each other). Many nannies stay with the family after the youngest child is in preschool or kindergarten full time, and part of the hours become household tasks (which may or may not include laundry and housekeeping). If you don't want to do anything other than take care of kids, make it clear to the family and move on once the youngest child is in full day school.

If you are paid during the weeks that the family goes on vacation, but you aren't taking PTO or vacation days, yes, the family has a right to expect you to come in and work at least a portion of your normal hours, doing tasks that you normally do or that make more sense to do while the family is gone (sort/donate kids' clothes, clean toys).

The mother knows that you will do everything, so of course she's not going to do anything. That's normal. If you don't want to do the housework, grocery shopping, errands and other things anymore... Quit. Or let her know that you aren't willing to do them.

I have never seen kids who acted like hellions for the nanny after she had been with them for at least a year. Yes, there have been occasional issues, and there is sometimes a child who goes through a phase. But it astounds me that all 4 kids have been your charges for 6 years, yet you have no clue why they are rude, loud and act so badly.

I'm glad you found another job, but why weren't you looking for a full time position? That makes more sense than having two part-time positions.

So you're doing Christmas cards for the family. Not a big deal, as long as the time is paid and it doesn't infringe on your ability to watch the children. At this point, I don't see how the Christmas cards could make the situation with the kids any worse, as you aren't effective as the nanny anymore. You need to get out, for your peace of mind, and the kids need a new nanny, one who can instill some self-control.

Many nannies start cooking for the family once the kids are in school (and eating the same thing the parents are eating, rather than baby or toddler food). And two long recipes for cakes aren't unreasonable, given that your position is now more of household help than nanny. In my experience, gourmet cooking is very time consuming, and with all the other things that you say you are doing, you don't have enough time to do it. I highly doubt you are cooking gourmet food, though it may be time consuming.

Overall, I highly doubt that the whole post is factual, though elements may be true. If it is, I don't understand at all how a nanny could allow herself to stay in this position for 6 years.

After reading only the first few lines, why not get out of that hell hole?

Hi I've been with this family for 6 years with 4 kids. I started working full time the first 3 years, 600dollars per week for about 50-55hours. I work in the affluent area of Upper Westchester, NY.
I switched to part-time about 3 years ago. I've always done the errand, grocery shopping, but only while the kids were in pre-school. Now that the children are older, I feel very undermined, abused, and underpaid/undervalued, especially by the mother and the oldest son. I know started looking for another job because working for 400dollars per week part-time for them isn't enough. I make 16dollars per hour. What bothers me, is this:
yes, I agreed to all the job creep in the beginning, but I was working full-time and got paid for the hours the kids were in pre-school because I did the errands then. Now...
She expects me to work afternoons for about 5 hours, and adds the extra few hours for errands and grocery, which is fine. what is not fine is the amount of work I am suppossed to do while the kids are at home unattended, running screaming through the house. The mother is at home most days, she works from home, but won't do one thing, so it is all up to me. Now that I found a wonderful new job, where I am treated with respect, no drama, I came to realize in what kind of an abusive environment I'm working...and I am getting paid way more for the new part-time job!!! They even offered more days and hours for me. I just wanted to know if I am overreacting...but what would you do if your boss screams at the kids non stop, it's very loud, she texts me all day long (even from her office while working, or on my days off), that she needs me to do personal stuff for her, do this...do that...while 4 kids are at home. the poor kids watch TV all day, so that I can do the housekeeping and personal errands. I also drive the kids around, cook gourmet meals for dinner for the whole family, do laundry for 4 kids, plus sheets for 5 beds and towels, and sometimes I'm expected to fold the dads laundry. she still adds stuff everyday...now she has 300 christmas cards (pictures of kids) that I need to put into envolopes, address stickers, stamps...hundreds of picture frames, she gave me 2 long receipes for cakes and expected me to get the ingredients out. Just sill things NON STOP!!! I'm so drained...I tried speaking to them millions of times, doesn't work. I asked for 22per hour since I'm doing all the personal assistant, cooking, bla bla bla.cleaning up after everybody, making dinner plates for parents.she said it was too much money and she would speak to the husband about a salary. they also took my benefits away, she doesn't want to pay me anymore for days that she cancels on me and stuff. When they go on vacation, I still have to come in take care of the kids clothes, run errands, drive and pick them up from the airport..on days I normally wouldn't work. and I never took any of my paid vacations that I was entitled to. no benefits, no health insurance.
so what do you think? 4 kids, screaming running around the house, watch TV, rude to me, the mom is rude, I keep running around the house sweating trying to get things done... the kids are so bad that the bus drivers are mad at them, they get kicked out of camps.. and the mom just think it's always the other people but not her kids..I just want to get out. I figures by the end of december I should get out and start the new part time job with more hours and just keep looking for another part time job in the evenings. Thank you!