Anonymous wrote:I have given a weeks pay as a bonus for the past 2 years but this year, its too much for us. If I give less, should I explain why? We are still better off than our nanny, but we have some very high expenses this year. I don't want her to think that the lower bonus is a reflection of how we feel about her, but I think she wont understand or believe us if I say we cant afford it.

You can't afford a couple hundred bucks? It's a single week of a nannies pay. Are you declaring bankruptcy? If not then PAY YOUR NANNY HER BONUS.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It IS pretty crappy that you can't cut back somewhere else. Your nanny should be more important than most other discretionary expenses.

Um, you do realize OP may have medical expenses, or be helping a relative whose home burned down, or now have an added expense of a nursing home or something along those lines? It's not always re-doing the living room and an extra vacation.

MB who posted earlier, OP should budget and have savings for these things, not take the money from her nanny's bonus. Also, how much money are we really looking at here? $300? Are you telling me that is going to make a big dent in medical expenses or rebuilding a house?

Nuts. You people are just nuts.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It IS pretty crappy that you can't cut back somewhere else. Your nanny should be more important than most other discretionary expenses.

Um, you do realize OP may have medical expenses, or be helping a relative whose home burned down, or now have an added expense of a nursing home or something along those lines? It's not always re-doing the living room and an extra vacation.

13.29 here. This is precisely my point. Most nannies can tell when there's a major issue, like everything you referenced. If it's renovations or a vacation, no, the nanny isn't going to be happy, and I would be expecting her to look for another position.

Anonymous wrote:I have given a weeks pay as a bonus for the past 2 years but this year, its too much for us. If I give less, should I explain why? We are still better off than our nanny, but we have some very high expenses this year. I don't want her to think that the lower bonus is a reflection of how we feel about her, but I think she wont understand or believe us if I say we cant afford it.

Your nanny might be more understanding that you know. I've had this happen twice, and both times I knew it was coming (actually, I didn't get a bonus at all either time). However, what the family did instead made up for it. Each child made me a gift, the parents arranged for me to have 5 days (planned ahead) off during January and February without dipping into PTO or vacation, and the parents tried extra hard to be home on time or early for a while. As long as the nanny knows she's appreciated and doesn't feel like the family is taking advantage, it can work out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It IS pretty crappy that you can't cut back somewhere else. Your nanny should be more important than most other discretionary expenses.

Um, you do realize OP may have medical expenses, or be helping a relative whose home burned down, or now have an added expense of a nursing home or something along those lines? It's not always re-doing the living room and an extra vacation.

MB who posted earlier, OP should budget and have savings for these things, not take the money from her nanny's bonus. Also, how much money are we really looking at here? $300? Are you telling me that is going to make a big dent in medical expenses or rebuilding a house?

Anonymous wrote:It IS pretty crappy that you can't cut back somewhere else. Your nanny should be more important than most other discretionary expenses.

Um, you do realize OP may have medical expenses, or be helping a relative whose home burned down, or now have an added expense of a nursing home or something along those lines? It's not always re-doing the living room and an extra vacation.

I really care about my NF and they really care about me. We are a team. I am well compensated and appreciated. If they came to me and explained to me why they couldn't give me the same bonus as last year and made it clear it had nothing to do with my job performance, I would roll with and be thankful for their honesty.

Explain why. If you can, give her an extra paid vacation day or two for next year.

Anonymous wrote:MB here. This is a really crappy thing to do, OP. I would give it and cut back in other places. Like not do gifts between DH and I, get the kids their winter clothes from goodwill, skip a family vacation or take a very inexpensive one, etc.

Agree 100%. The last person you cut is the nanny, for God's sake. That's just not wise.

MB here. This is a really crappy thing to do, OP. I would give it and cut back in other places. Like not do gifts between DH and I, get the kids their winter clothes from goodwill, skip a family vacation or take a very inexpensive one, etc.

I would have a talk with her and let you know that you cannot offer her a full bonus this year. Let her know that money has been tight due to certain extra expenses lately.

To make up for it, perhaps you can offer her more bonus money in six months or so when you can afford it.

Or try to make up for it in other ways. Perhaps let her leave earlier some days when you can get off work early. Offer her to stay for dinner some evenings.

A fair and mature nanny should fully understand.

It IS pretty crappy that you can't cut back somewhere else. Your nanny should be more important than most other discretionary expenses.

Yeah I would definitely say something. If you've given the same bonus for 2 years, she may be counting on it (even though I know you shouldn't) and knowing she's getting less may affect her holiday spending.

We are in the same boat. I actually did talk to our nanny and she was really sad. I felt awful but I do think it is best to discuss with her and try to give her a little bit later if you can - I actually stated that I would give her a small bonus in February.

I have given a weeks pay as a bonus for the past 2 years but this year, its too much for us. If I give less, should I explain why? We are still better off than our nanny, but we have some very high expenses this year. I don't want her to think that the lower bonus is a reflection of how we feel about her, but I think she wont understand or believe us if I say we cant afford it.