Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I make sure that I'm allowed to take my charges once to any recurring non-religious activity to test it out. The parents trust my judgment, and I've pulled kids from playgroups or other activities for a variety of reasons. After attending the first time, I give a summary of the group, activity and any theme I thought might be recurring. Technically, they make the decision about whether the kids attend after the first time, but they've always just said that they trust my judgment and that they want me to keep informing them after we check out new activities.

It's not like you took your charge to some Buddhist Temple where you had to be silent for 15 min. or anything like that.
It sounds like you just visited a neighborhood church and the playgroup sounds really fun.

Considering they do not allow you to drive and you have limited activities to walk to, this sounds like it would be something new and different for both nanny and child.

I wouldn't care as a parent. When I hire a nanny, I have to trust her fully to do what is right for my child. To offer her restrictions in doing this, I am going to make her unhappy.

It sounds so harmless to me and the child sounds like he had a great and fun time. Any parent who would need to "check it out" is going overboard. This is a neighborhood play event, not a baptism. Geez.

Would you be this sanguine if the place in question was a synagogue, or a mosque?

Anonymous wrote:I make sure that I'm allowed to take my charges once to any recurring non-religious activity to test it out. The parents trust my judgment, and I've pulled kids from playgroups or other activities for a variety of reasons. After attending the first time, I give a summary of the group, activity and any theme I thought might be recurring. Technically, they make the decision about whether the kids attend after the first time, but they've always just said that they trust my judgment and that they want me to keep informing them after we check out new activities.

It's not like you took your charge to some Buddhist Temple where you had to be silent for 15 min. or anything like that.
It sounds like you just visited a neighborhood church and the playgroup sounds really fun.

Considering they do not allow you to drive and you have limited activities to walk to, this sounds like it would be something new and different for both nanny and child.

I wouldn't care as a parent. When I hire a nanny, I have to trust her fully to do what is right for my child. To offer her restrictions in doing this, I am going to make her unhappy.

It sounds so harmless to me and the child sounds like he had a great and fun time. Any parent who would need to "check it out" is going overboard. This is a neighborhood play event, not a baptism. Geez.

Your intentions are good but I would have been pissed. I would have wanted a text or call or email first. We do not go to church so it is not something I want my child going to (however, we do pay for activities so its a non-issue).

I would have felt the same way as the dad. What happens when the kid sees a picture of Jesus on the wall and asks what's that? why is he naked? why is he nailed to a cross?

I would also want to check it out myself. I want to be in charge of laying the religious tracks in my children's brains.

Anonymous wrote:Did you explicitly say that it was not religious? Because from the sounds of it, you told him you went to a playgroup at a church and then gave him the church flier as well as the church's main page. I can completely see how the dad could have misconstrued this as it was a religious type playgroup.
I see nothing wrong with his reaction. He didn't tell you no, he just said he wanted to check it out first before signing off on it.

So, neither of you were wrong or crossing a line or anything like that.

I'm an MB and I agree with this. I would not want my kids taken to any religious based activity (or any politically driven activity, or anything else along these lines) without knowing about it in advance. If I trust you though, and you have been with us a while, and you took our kids to something like this, told me right away, and let me know that you were very careful to make sure that there was no religious content, etc...) that would probably be ok. But I'd still act exactly as this dad did and say - ok, let me check it out and I'll let you know.

It sounds like you were fine but that you did take a bit of a risk with it. Happily you didn't expose them to anything which might have made anyone uncomfortable but it was a bit of a chance you took. I think his reaction was completely appropriate and not something you should feel badly about.

I make sure that I'm allowed to take my charges once to any recurring non-religious activity to test it out. The parents trust my judgment, and I've pulled kids from playgroups or other activities for a variety of reasons. After attending the first time, I give a summary of the group, activity and any theme I thought might be recurring. Technically, they make the decision about whether the kids attend after the first time, but they've always just said that they trust my judgment and that they want me to keep informing them after we check out new activities.

Did you explicitly say that it was not religious? Because from the sounds of it, you told him you went to a playgroup at a church and then gave him the church flier as well as the church's main page. I can completely see how the dad could have misconstrued this as it was a religious type playgroup.
I see nothing wrong with his reaction. He didn't tell you no, he just said he wanted to check it out first before signing off on it.

So, neither of you were wrong or crossing a line or anything like that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't take my charge somewhere without getting approval first. It's in my contract.

Curious if they ever said no.

I've only asked to take them to the library so far. Our schedule is very full of classes that they sign them up for and school.

Anonymous wrote:Parents should not hire a nanny who might do something not safe.

True. Toddler playgroups can be DEADLY.

Parents should not hire a nanny who might do something not safe.

I wouldn't care, I would in fact be thrilled, but everyone is different. I have been annoyed that our nanny takes my child further than I would like - to a puppet show 40 minutes away and then tells me after the fact. Maybe it isn't a problem, but she took him somewhere without me knowing and out of the neighborhood. (probably to have fun and see other nanny friends, I and don't care - but ask me/tell me in advance.) I think if you are going somewhere that you have not been told you can go, then of course they will be upset.

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't take my charge somewhere without getting approval first. It's in my contract.

Curious if they ever said no.

I wouldn't take my charge somewhere without getting approval first. It's in my contract.

Insecure parents abound. Let's see how long it takes him to give you his seal of approval, so he can feel like he's doing the parenting work. No one can do everything.

I am a nanny to a three and a half yr. old little boy.
I watch him currently for four days a week, ten hours each day.

His naps are now very brief and the weather has been nice to go on daily outings for now.
Well the other day, I was in the library for stories for the kids and met this other mother. She had a little girl about four yrs. old and told me there was a free playgroup at a nearby church for kids 2-5 every Wednesday morning.
The church was a block from the library and I followed her there. While I think it is completely inappropriate to teach a child religion, I made sure this playgroup didn't mention the Bible, Jesus or anything pertaining to God. I was afraid it would be a sort of "Sunday School" atmosphere and monitored it accordingly.

Well surprise, surprise. They had free play with tons of age-appropriate toys as well as circle/story time with regular stories for the kids. They also had a craft time where the kids could color and a dancing experience where the kids could pick out instruments and scarves and dance to regular music.

There was no religious teaching involved nor any praying. It was all based on F-U-N.

After the Father came home, I mentioned this playgroup at the church and asked if it would be okay for me to take his son every week. I am not allowed to drive him anywhere and aside from the public library, there are not many kid-friendly places to walk to like a park or playground.
Dad seemed peeved when I mentioned where we went, so I gave him a flier with the church's Facebook info as well as their main website.

I even showed pictures to him of his son having a blast which he sure did.
He told me to please not take him to this playgroup anymore until he gets a chance to check it out online.

Suddenly I felt like I crossed the line. Did I?