Here's another consideration: How long are her hours?

If she works 9-5, then I sort of see your DH's point: she could certainly find time to shower before work. If, on the other hand, she works long days (I work 6am-5pm), then having the ability to work out before she comes in, power through the am, shower and then be clean enough to actually go meet someone for drinks after work (which she would NOT be if she's playing hard with kids all morning), makes a big difference to her quality of life. Yes, it is probably more "professional" for her not to do this, but if she works long hours and you make it so that she has to either get up at 4:30 in order to work out then shower at home (thus missing out on sleep), or skip the gym (leading to lower energy during the day and poorer health long term), or work out in the evenings, which wouldnotherwise be her only chance for a social life...well, I think you are running a high risk of burnout.

If you are fine with it, then I guess it works for you.

I am a pretty laid back person, but I wouldn't be ok with it at all. I can't think of a time when I have been home with my kids that I've really needed to shower after playing or being with them all day.

I think your husband has some kind of issue here that isn't about the nanny. I would shield her from this given that you think she's great.

And given the reasons she showers at your place (and that it's occasional) I think it's MORE than fine to allow and even support this.

Thanks for replies!

Yeah she doesn't do it everyday and the reasons are mainly if she work out before work , gets dirty with kids or has to be here early and doesn't have time in the am at her place.

My husband is adamant that he doesn't want her showering his reason after showing him responses is "well what if a kidnapper broke in?" She wouldn't be aware". Paranoid I said.

She is wonderful and we both LOVE that she runs around the park and dives in the sandbox and gets covered in paint...why I think its fine.

MB here - I'm usually on the side of "treat it like a professional job" in these discussions but I don't see a problem at all here. If you're okay with it, why not? I'm assuming she can hear the kids if they wake up and that would be my only concern, but as long as that's not an issue I think it's 100% fine. Our nanny takes a long break while the kids are sleeping and I encourage it because I know she needs to recharge for the craziness of the afternoon. Tell DH to stay out of it

Anonymous wrote:Is this live in position? If not, showering at work is ridiculous. Your husband is right. I'm a nanny and yes kids are dirty but I don't shower at work. Your nanny is weird.

If it was live-in, fine, but she should shower at the gym. I find it weird. In less vomit got in her hair, you wash off that body part, change your clothing and be done with it. I would not say anything, but its odd.

I work out before work 3 days a week and arrive 10 min early to rinse off! My bosses offered this and I appreciate it so much! I go to a boot camp that is only offered in the morning towards my work. They are also very active and understand my need to work out...but it's little things like this that make me a happy employee!

A lot of workplaces offer showers to their employees.

Is this live in position? If not, showering at work is ridiculous. Your husband is right. I'm a nanny and yes kids are dirty but I don't shower at work. Your nanny is weird.

Wouldn't bother me . . .

Anonymous wrote:Our nanny showers during nap time.

I think its fine, the kids are sound sleepers and she is quick 15-20 min. She goes to the gym sometimes before work and shebis super active on the playground with our kids. But my husband doesn't think its OK. He says we don't get to shower at our jobs why should it be different. Its not our job to help her manage her personal time where showering should be happening.

He found out because we picked up a shampoo I noticed she uses to keep in the kids bathroom for her.
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Is he right? I don't think so....but he says I'm being to nice.

You aren't taking care of of kids at your work. Children are dirty creatures. Your DH is being a cheap jerk. If you like your nanny and you trust her with your children. Then I would not be so picky. Let her shower.

Is she a good nanny? Are you pleased with her work? Would this be worth damaging the relationship over?

That's how I'd frame it for your husband.

Honestly if she's showering there every day I think that is a little odd, definitely. But I would probably be ok with it also.

When my husband and I disagree about things like this (which happens once or twice a year) I remind him that he is not the one primarily managing the nanny, the kids' schedule, the workload, etc... If he wants to take that over and handle a search for a new nanny (if that happened) he is welcome to, but as long as it is primarily my responsibility then I get more say over things like this.

He is happy to defer to me on the day to day work so he understands deferring to me when we see relatively minor things differently.

She asked one day early on when the baby had spit up on her.

I said of course no need to ask.

I've known about it all along. Why I picked up some bath stuff for her. She forgot one day. And I have her mine. Then thought in could keep some here for her.

My husband isn't home when she is and I do most all the communicating. I didn't think it was such a bug deal so I never told him.

Anonymous wrote:Our nanny showers during nap time.

I think its fine, the kids are sound sleepers and she is quick 15-20 min. She goes to the gym sometimes before work and shebis super active on the playground with our kids. But my husband doesn't think its OK. He says we don't get to shower at our jobs why should it be different. Its not our job to help her manage her personal time where showering should be happening.

He found out because we picked up a shampoo I noticed she uses to keep in the kids bathroom for her.

Is he right? I don't think so....but he says I'm being to nice.

I think it's weird she didn't tell you but if you're fine with it, who cares?

Our nanny showers during nap time.

I think its fine, the kids are sound sleepers and she is quick 15-20 min. She goes to the gym sometimes before work and shebis super active on the playground with our kids. But my husband doesn't think its OK. He says we don't get to shower at our jobs why should it be different. Its not our job to help her manage her personal time where showering should be happening.

He found out because we picked up a shampoo I noticed she uses to keep in the kids bathroom for her.

Is he right? I don't think so....but he says I'm being to nice.