OP here,

I email him saying "Hi! I want to thank you for offering me the opportunity to work with your family. I really enjoyed meeting you and baby XXXX. With that being said, I was interviewing with multiple families. After meeting with another family and discussing possible opportunities, I have decided to accept their offer. They are a better fit for me schedule-wise. I apologize for the inconvenience this may have caused. I wish nothing but you and your family the best and hope you find someone spectacular.

I'm surprise when they email me back saying thanks for the nice words and told me they still hoping I can babysit their toddler next week. They agreed to pay my rate and I agree to babysit. They give me their address (luxury condo) and after I google his name walaaaa!!! picture of him wearing royal Saudi clothes! Must be a prince? Now I cant wait to do the babysitting.

If the family was looking for 6 hours once a week, and said that they needed to discuss the rate, but they wanted you to come the following week, it sounds like they wanted to see how it went the next week. Unless a family specifically says I'm hired, I keep looking, but I'm very clear with families about the way I search for positions. It sounds like miscommunication to me.

Well in theory OP, if they asked you to baby-sit the following week, then that is basically stating you got the job. That is what my assumption would be anyway.

You could have at least fulfilled your original agreement watching their daughter, but then left after that.

But now that bridge is burned and is water under the bridge.

Try to be firm next time on your pay and let said family know it is not up for negotiation.

I say the fault lies with both of you. You for not sticking to your guns on your rate and them for being cheapskate parents.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do not use "I do not negotiate." That is very stern/harsh language and will be a turn off even to those who can afford your rate. In future, just say, "Sorry, $X is the lowest I can go. If that's not comfortable for you then it sounds like we aren't a good fit financially."

As an MB I totally agree with this. There are ways to say "I'm sorry but I have a certain level of income I need to maintain" that can also help you figure out whether there is any wiggle room in the offer from the parents.

Hearing "I do not negotiate" from a candidate would make me immediately reject you, even if there were room for me to pay more or you seemed really fantastic. I need, look for and give flexibility in the working relationship with our nanny so that would be a deal-breaker.

Exactly, I understand the sentiment but saying "I do not negotiate" sounds very rude coming from any employer or employee. Why burn bridges for no reason; maybe you never want to work for this family, but what if you interview for someone else who knows then, or is on their same neighborhood listserve, and asks about you?

Anonymous wrote:Do not use "I do not negotiate." That is very stern/harsh language and will be a turn off even to those who can afford your rate. In future, just say, "Sorry, $X is the lowest I can go. If that's not comfortable for you then it sounds like we aren't a good fit financially."

As an MB I totally agree with this. There are ways to say "I'm sorry but I have a certain level of income I need to maintain" that can also help you figure out whether there is any wiggle room in the offer from the parents.

Hearing "I do not negotiate" from a candidate would make me immediately reject you, even if there were room for me to pay more or you seemed really fantastic. I need, look for and give flexibility in the working relationship with our nanny so that would be a deal-breaker.

Do not use "I do not negotiate." That is very stern/harsh language and will be a turn off even to those who can afford your rate. In future, just say, "Sorry, $X is the lowest I can go. If that's not comfortable for you then it sounds like we aren't a good fit financially."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know why you contact them. Looking for drama? You say my rate is xxx, I do not negotiate. Either they accept it or not.

My weakness. Will use your term "my rate is xxx, I do not negotiate" in the future.

Thank you

That is terrible, TERRIBLE advice.

Anonymous wrote:I don't know why you contact them. Looking for drama? You say my rate is xxx, I do not negotiate. Either they accept it or not.

My weakness. Will use your term "my rate is xxx, I do not negotiate" in the future.

Thank you

Thank you for the feedback and suggestion. I appreciate it very much.

I'm so sorry but I know my rate was a challenge for you and I got an offer for my full preferred hourly rate. You said you needed to think about my rate so I didn't consider that a job offer. I'll be happy to babysit for you if you wish.

Tell them the truth! "I really enjoyed meeting you all, but I need a position that is stable. I'm more than happy to babysit occasionally if the timing works for us; please let me know if you ever need a sitter!"

And that's all. They probably won't contact you for babysitting if they were upset about this, but it's a job- they should understand how it works.

I don't know why you contact them. Looking for drama? You say my rate is xxx, I do not negotiate. Either they accept it or not.

I was interviewed by one family. They have one cute little toddler. Job schedule once a week for 6 hours. Pay not that good but its my mistake not to stand firm with my price. While interviewing me, they said that they need time to discuss my rate, schedule etc. Before they left, they said they want me to babysit their daughter next week. I agreed.

I been in this industry long enough and I know when parents said they need more time it means 50% you get the job 50% you don't. Even if you get the job they still can replace you with someone else.

So, I apply another job and I have the interview today. Good family and good baby. Most important is good pay! They want me to accept it on the sport so they don't have to do more interview. I accept it.

When the first parents did not call me about their discussion I assume they wont hire me.

I texted the first family telling them the news and they get mad. They said when they told me they want me to babysit their daughter next week it mean I got the job!


So pls help me how to write to this parents that I wont compromise my finances for them. I don't want to write " Sorry I have to decline due to not a good fit blah blah blah" its so yesterday.



Thank you