Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree...It was very disruptive of said Auntie to show up unannounced at their house.

If it were a "one-time" only incident, I would have just let it go, however more than once it actually disrupts your workday.

I am surprised that your Dad Boss didn't say anything, but again, it may not be a regular thing so he was happy.

Yes, definitely speak w/your Mom Boss about this if it continues. Let her know it is disruptive plus you could do w/out Auntie's rude comments to you. (Why it took SO long to answer the door....??) <------ That was just completely out of line.

Good luck.

This is why I tell my MB/DB that I will answer the door only *after* I make sure that the kids are safe and in a secure location (ie. not tearing round the house when I can't see them). If Auntie can't understand that, well... yeah, we already know she doesn't care about disrupting and wants the visit to revolve around her, don't we?

+1 Same here and same with the phone - even if it is MB/DB.

Anonymous wrote:I agree...It was very disruptive of said Auntie to show up unannounced at their house.

If it were a "one-time" only incident, I would have just let it go, however more than once it actually disrupts your workday.

I am surprised that your Dad Boss didn't say anything, but again, it may not be a regular thing so he was happy.

Yes, definitely speak w/your Mom Boss about this if it continues. Let her know it is disruptive plus you could do w/out Auntie's rude comments to you. (Why it took SO long to answer the door....??) <------ That was just completely out of line.

Good luck.

This is why I tell my MB/DB that I will answer the door only *after* I make sure that the kids are safe and in a secure location (ie. not tearing round the house when I can't see them). If Auntie can't understand that, well... yeah, we already know she doesn't care about disrupting and wants the visit to revolve around her, don't we?

Anonymous wrote:Someone stops by at 4pm, not 9am, not noon, not 2 but 4pm. Big deal.

Someone stops by and you haven't seen her stop by for 7 months and you're flipping out. Big deal.

Just ask to leave early next time, that's probably why the guest stopped by so late, to not muck up the routine, or lunchtime, or nap time. And to let you go home a bit early.

Next time out your big girl pants on, let the auntie see her nieces and go tidy up things, get the week's lunches ready, etc. Don't come write an immature 600 word rant about nothing in dcum. Jeese, grow up.

Who gets a week's lunches ready at 4pm on a Thursday?! I freeze ahead, but that's only about a third of my charge's food... And anything I steam stays in the fridge at most three days.

" DH Do you still need me?"

I agree...It was very disruptive of said Auntie to show up unannounced at their house.

If it were a "one-time" only incident, I would have just let it go, however more than once it actually disrupts your workday.

I am surprised that your Dad Boss didn't say anything, but again, it may not be a regular thing so he was happy.

Yes, definitely speak w/your Mom Boss about this if it continues. Let her know it is disruptive plus you could do w/out Auntie's rude comments to you. (Why it took SO long to answer the door....??) <------ That was just completely out of line.

Good luck.

I just don't think it's right to assume it's okay to leave early, especially TWO HOURS early. I did, eventually, ask to leave 30 mins early, but that was after spending a very uncomfortable 90 mins. I kept waiting and waiting for one of them, DB, or Auntie, to tell me "it's okay, we got it," or "it's been a long day, you must be tired..." or ANYTHING that would possibly segue into me being given permission to leave early.

At this point the twins are a huge handful, and I wasn't sure if DB had a late phone conference or appointment, and Auntie has diabetes and showed up with a medical boot on one foot/leg. She sat right down on the couch and didn't really get up (except once to go to the bathroom). I asked if she was okay and she said "yeah, fine" and went back to fawning over the twins from her perch on the couch. Given what a handful the twins are, Aunties condition, the fact that DBs workday usually ends after 5:30, and MB wasn't home and rarely arrives before 6, I wasnt sure if it was really appropriate for me to ask to leave so early.

To the person who suggested a book, I think that would've been considered rude to sit and read right in front of DB and Auntie. I had no real reason to be in the kitchen (snack was prepared and put into the fridge during nap), and other than the living room, which they were all in, there is nowhere else to hide except DBs office, MBs bedroom, and the kids bedroom, all of which I have even less reason to be in than the kitchen.

Guess I should've put all that info in the original post, but yeah, it was not quite as simple as "just go to another room" or "just leave."

And specifically, miss big girl pants 23:09, as I'd already explained, I had already tidied up everything and prepared all necessary meals during nap time; there was literally nothing left that was needing to be tidied or prepared; there was NOTHING else for me to do. I was caught up on laundry, the kitchen was swept and counters wiped, dinner was just about ready in the slow cooker. There was nowhere for me to hide, and I wish it was as simple as "that's probably why she came over, to let you got early." She never gave any indication or said anything about me leaving early, and given her medical condition, two high energy 18 month olds, and that it was two hours before my scheduled end time, it wasn't really clear that that was her intention.

Someone stops by at 4pm, not 9am, not noon, not 2 but 4pm. Big deal.

Someone stops by and you haven't seen her stop by for 7 months and you're flipping out. Big deal.

Just ask to leave early next time, that's probably why the guest stopped by so late, to not muck up the routine, or lunchtime, or nap time. And to let you go home a bit early.

Next time out your big girl pants on, let the auntie see her nieces and go tidy up things, get the week's lunches ready, etc. Don't come write an immature 600 word rant about nothing in dcum. Jeese, grow up.

1) the batteries in those purses die quickly so don't worry about that. 2) so what if a little girl wants to play with makeup? Either they'll play with it or they won't. I played with makeup when I was little and my mom rarely wore it so it had nothing to do with any messages anyone sent me. 3) when it was obvious dad and aunt were all over the kids I would have asked if they were through with me for the day and then either left or sat quietly somewhere and caught up on the news or something.

A book.

Anonymous wrote:Tip: don't try to make conversation with guests. Say hello and then flee to the kitchen or somewhere the guests are not congregating - nobody is there to see you. You're acting like you're the lady of the house, but to the guests you're just The Help.

I disagree 100%. I have clearly instructed my child's nanny that she is to be with my child at all times regardless of who is there and that I will always back her up when she acts in the best interest of my child.

I have very pushy in-laws and a DH who is very non-confrontational with his family. My in-laws arrived without calling and told the nanny that they wanted to take the baby swimming (we have a pool and he swims every night in the hot tub with one of us). Our nanny said no, that it was time for his nap. My in-laws and DH were both furious. I came home and commended the nanny and told my in-laws that my baby's schedule is sacrosanct and that his nanny did the right thing.

Sorry OP, drop in "guests" are the worst. They have no respect for the child's routine or the child.

Tip: don't try to make conversation with guests. Say hello and then flee to the kitchen or somewhere the guests are not congregating - nobody is there to see you. You're acting like you're the lady of the house, but to the guests you're just The Help.

The time is 4pm, charges (18 month old twins) just woke up from nap and I was changing their diapers (both had pooped immediately upon waking up). As soon as we walk out of their bedroom I hear someone banging on the front door. I come to open it and beloved Auntie is there, arms full of presents for the kids (for no reason at all, she lives locally and obviously it's not their birthday or anything). She barges past me, complaining about how it took so long for me to come to the door; doesn't even say hello. I always give the twins a snack after nap, so that was my plan, but now auntie is shoving bags filled with loud battery powered toys in their faces instead.

Work at home Dad, who is very respectful of boundaries and rarely leaves his home office during my time there, hears all the commotion and comes out to say hello (technically I believe she's a great aunt, the much younger sister of my charges maternal grandmother). So now the kids are running around playing with their new Minnie Mouse doll that keeps saying "hug me! Kiss me!" really loudly and the awful "my first purse" that plays jingles when you open and close it and comes complete with pretend make up and mini mirror (because let's send these 18 month old girls the message that your appearance is so important and don't forget to wear makeup!), and all the other crap she bought, and Dad (who hadn't seen them all day and had just gotten back from a week long business trip the night before), and Auntie were both desperately vying for the kids attention. I felt awkward to say the least. I tried to make myself useful but I'd just done all the chores during nap. I tried to make conversation but it was clear Auntie wanted the floor and didn't want to hear anything I had to say.

The only other time I'd seen Auntie before was the day I met her, about seven months ago, when she gave me a very basic booklet, written 30+ years ago, on infant and toddler care, along with a local parks and rec and library guide (saying "you should really sign them up for a class at the community center or take them to the library story time"). She didn't seem to care at all that I have 14 years of nanny experience (all of it with infants toddlers and a few sets of twins), a bachelors degree in childhood development, and I'd already been taking my charges to library story time and I'd already discussed signing them up for a rec center class with MB.

Thank heavens my MB and DB are more supportive of me and know that I know my stuff when it comes to children and providing them with a stimulating, learning-oriented day. I am also thankful that Aunties appearances are rare, but if she barges in one more time unannounced I will bring it up with MB. Ugh.