OP you might take this in small steps. First, spend a week just observing MB's mood and what is and is not working for her. See if moving the share to your home permanently will resolve any issues she is dealing with. Think about how that choice might undermine any of the NF's childcare goals. Maybe next you can just say to MB that the arrangement has been good all around and you are very pleased with how things turned out. Then listen closely to her response (enthusiastic or lukewarm?) and watch her body language (does she break eye contact and change the subject?). I also think MB deserves a straight, no b.s. request from you with ample time to consider her own feelings. Perhaps a month out you can pose the question and ask her to take some time to think it through.

Ugh it's people like you who give nannies a bad name and if you're watching another child in YOUR home with YOUR CHILD present, then you are not a nanny and do not deserve to be paid as one! You are now, as another poster so astutely observed, an unlicensed in-home daycare provider, and they make CONSIDERABLY LESS than a real nanny.

I would definitely ask in a way that would make it very easy for them to voice their concerns or flat out say no. If they say no make sure you don't push it. They know what they want and chances are they may have already considered the possibility of making the arrangement permanent. You're right, sometimes it does hurt to ask, so make it easy for them to decline your offer.

You are right, it doesn't hurt to ask. The main thing here is that you want this setup to continue because it works for your DC and you that's the crux of it however you may spin it. I wouldn't agree to something like this but every family is different and so are their needs, so go ahead and ask.

Anonymous wrote:How old is your charge OP? You should be fine as long as arrangement has something that is attractive to your NF. I would not agree to this long-term not worth the inconvenience of getting kid ready and packing clothes, snacks and anything needed on time for me to get to work and schelping back and forth from your home. I would rather do preschool/daycare if my child was older than 2-2.5.

Op here. Child is just over a year old. In our situtation there is no packing involved and child comes to me fresh out of bed and still in pjs. I've asked MB not to inconvenience herself by sending food because I prepare her child and mine the same meals each day. She only sends fruits I don't buy because my child doesn't eat them and she adds a small stipend to my paycheck for the food I supply.

A couple other benefits are that I have more space for the kids inside and out and have many more toys than they do at their home. The inconvenience for MB is very minimal if any, MB drives by the highway exit for my house to go to work and I meet her right by the highway, so there is only a slight detour and putting her child in the car for a 10 minute ride. Drop off is actually easier for MB so she can have time to go to the gym near my house.

I'm well aware that the situtation is beneficial to me and my child, but I honestly don't think it would be enough of an inconvenience to them to eliminate it as a possibility. This started out as a huge favor and they have expressed their appreciation numerous times over the past few months.

To some of the other pps who mentioned picking up and dropping off at their home, this is something I was going to offer if necessary.

I was thinking about asking her soon about making this our arrangement permanent. Should I wait until we're closer to the Reno being done?

Wording wise, I was thinking of saying that I wanted to see if she'd be open to making our current arrangement permanent since it is going so well and the kids are very comfortable being at my house and that I'm concerned about the transition on both kids after being at my house for so long. If necessary, I will tick off the benefits to them (utility savings, less wear/tear, etc)

I know the saying "it doesn't hurt to ask", however in my experience as a nanny, sometimes it does hurt to ask. Does anyone think this may hurt our relationship by me asking to make his permanent? I absolutely love my charge, MB and DB and they are hands down the best and most respectful family I have ever worked with, so I do not want to do anything to hurt our current relationship!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would offer a discount as you are doing it for your convince. As a parent, I want it at my house as its easier for me not to have to do drop off and pick up as well as my child being comfortable in their home. I would not agree as I do not want in-home care, but others may.

Not all parents need to be looking for a discount, especially if this arrangement would enable the continuity of care with the same nanny. Think outside your box a bit.

Most parents hire a nanny for the luxury of having it at their home. She is becoming an unlicensed in-home care provider and generally the salary is far less than someone coming to your home, especially when she has her child as well. This family may not care but most will. Its not about thinking outside the box. Most people hire a nanny for their connivence. Nanny is wanting it at her home as its more convenient for her.

It sounds to me as if this temporary arrangement worked out better than expected.

I agree that it would be a little too disruptive to change the routine after ten months (by December as you stated.)

If the current routine is going extremely well, then I don't see why she should have any issue w/it.

Detail to her as you did here, ALL the positives in caring for the children in your home. If she declines, then that is her right, but you have to at least consult her first to see if she would be willing to consider the current set-up.

Good luck to you OP.

How old is your charge OP? You should be fine as long as arrangement has something that is attractive to your NF. I would not agree to this long-term not worth the inconvenience of getting kid ready and packing clothes, snacks and anything needed on time for me to get to work and schelping back and forth from your home. I would rather do preschool/daycare if my child was older than 2-2.5.

Anonymous wrote:I would offer a discount as you are doing it for your convince. As a parent, I want it at my house as its easier for me not to have to do drop off and pick up as well as my child being comfortable in their home. I would not agree as I do not want in-home care, but others may.

Not all parents need to be looking for a discount, especially if this arrangement would enable the continuity of care with the same nanny. Think outside your box a bit.

Anonymous wrote:Could you maybe pick the child up at their home. One really nice thing about having a nanny is not having to get your kid out the door in the morning. You can of course ask, but be prepared for them to want to lower your rate since they will lose the convenience of you coming to them.

You should have read OP "s post before respopnding.

I would offer a discount as you are doing it for your convince. As a parent, I want it at my house as its easier for me not to have to do drop off and pick up as well as my child being comfortable in their home. I would not agree as I do not want in-home care, but others may.

After my first year, we switched to my house. I picked-up and delivered. Zero discount.

I babysit baby at my place and I gave good rate to the parents. For me win win situation.

Could you maybe pick the child up at their home. One really nice thing about having a nanny is not having to get your kid out the door in the morning. You can of course ask, but be prepared for them to want to lower your rate since they will lose the convenience of you coming to them.

I need help with how to approach MB about this. I've been with my NF for 7 months and bring my almost 2 yo child to work with me. About 4 months ago NF sold their house and bought a new one which they are fully renovating. They have been living with family and asked me to Watch the kids in my own home until the renovations are done. The way it's looking, the Reno won't be done until December making it 7 months out of 10 at my job that we've been at my house.

At this point, the kids have been at my house more than any other and are both very much used to the routine, I'm hesitant to transition again. My son has a very difficult time sleeping anywhere but his own bed and my charge sleeps better at my house than anywhere else . Obviously the pros for the NF are saving money on utilities and food and less wear and tear on their home. Also MB works closer to my home than theirs and we've been meeting right off the highway and it takes her 5-10 minute detour depending on how long we chat. It's also beneficial that her gym is very close to my house and she can get a workout in and I meet her at the gym. If I were working out of her house, this wouldn't likely work within my hours anymore. Having my charge at my house is obviously a huge benefit to me, at the same time it costs me in utilities and wear but it is my preference.

I want to ask MB if we could just make the current situation permanent, but want to know a tactful way of doing it.

Thanks!