Leave the family alone and move on. Threatening them with a slander suit is an empty losing threat and will probably enrage them more. (Truth and opinion are defenses and your case would be very difficult to prove - plus your lawyer NFs are probably Not going to do a whole case for free and litigation is very expensive even for a good claim.)

I can't believe that anyone would call a former reference and complain! That is very bizarre behavior. Who is that petty?!

Anonymous wrote:Get a lawyer friend to send the crazy woman a letter threatening her with a slander lawsuit. My lawyer NFs would do that in a heartbeat.

That should shut her trap.

+1

Get a lawyer friend to send the crazy woman a letter threatening her with a slander lawsuit. My lawyer NFs would do that in a heartbeat.

That should shut her trap.

I think your track record with them should mean that you're fine OP.

Don't overthink the "no pics in 10 days" thing - this is a VERY hectic time of year for any family with kids starting school. They're probably just busy.

Wait a while before you contact them again, and when you think you will be using them for a reference again be sure to touch base in advance of that to get a sense of how they're feeling.

We've all had one awful job through no fault of our own - people understand.

If a nutcase ever called my references, they would call me and we would talk about how crazy the woman is.

Parents often go berserk when you leave them. Happens all the time. Temper tantrum city.

Something similar happened with DS' previous nanny, whom we loved (DS started school FT so the position was no longer what she wanted).

We were shocked when a family called us to say they'd employed her and she was unprofessional, shouldn't be trusted with kids, etc. And then basically accused us of lying to her About what a great nanny she was.

We called her and told her what happened and was just like "woah what happened?!" Certainly didn't change how we Felt about her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just don't use them as a reference any more. Done.

18 months. Position ended late June. I worked 50-60 hour weeks caring for their infant and toddler children.

I would call your old reference and let her know that this transition has been very stressful to deal with and that you hope it has not changed their opinion of you. I am sure she will re assure you. You took care of her kids for 18mo why would she take the word of a stranger over yours.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just don't use them as a reference any more. Done.

18 months. Position ended late June. I worked 50-60 hour weeks caring for their infant and toddler children.

Then they should know you and trust you more then this crazy lady who had no business in calling them. I would keep using them as a reference if they allow it. I always contact my references first before giving out their info to ask if I can use them again.

Anonymous wrote:Just don't use them as a reference any more. Done.

18 months. Position ended late June. I worked 50-60 hour weeks caring for their infant and toddler children.

Anonymous wrote:Just don't use them as a reference any more. Done.

Terrible advice. I have a stellar reference letter from them. I was with them for 18 months, until they moved. They are my last position and it would look suspicious to not have them as a reference.

How long did you work for the reference ? How many hrs per week?

Just don't use them as a reference any more. Done.

I just quit a bad fit. I worked there for 6 weeks and tried to give it time with little change. The hours weren't as promised, the parents yelled at each other constantly, they were always late, and they were just a bad fit. None of these signs appeared until about a week in. Anyway I got a call from a previous reference telling me these people reached out to her. They claimed I was unreliable, unprofessional, and uncooperative. I gave two weeks notice but they let me go right after that. My reference asked what happened. I explained the situation. Now I'm a little worried they will be less likely to give me a reference or something because of negative feedback. How do you handle a situation like this?

MB's what would you do/think? This family and I had a great relationship but their communication ( text updates, pictures of children) have ceased since this occurred 1.5 weeks ago.