Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please - you did nothing wrong. The mother is insane. Be glad that you are done with them.

I disagree. I've read these same type of threads a few times and I always notice the same thing, nanny loses control of the child and situation, someone intervenes, and then DCUM white knights defend nanny. But just like this case, if nanny had not lost control of the child and get him to a point where we is standing at the top of the stairs screaming loud enough to attract attention from mom on another floor then this wouldn't have happened. Nannies job is to get child to the potty if she knows he needs to go, even if child would rather keep playing and pee his pants.

Long story short is a better nanny would never have had this problem.

You must a troll or just a bitch. My charge always tells me he has to potty and then sometimes he decides he doesn't want to go. So he'll let out a scream. Usually it takes a min and he chills out. Then uses the potty. When MB is home and rushes in to see what's wrong and babies him....he milks it. Then has an accident because she'll take him out of the bathroom.

So you know what you need to work on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please - you did nothing wrong. The mother is insane. Be glad that you are done with them.

I disagree. I've read these same type of threads a few times and I always notice the same thing, nanny loses control of the child and situation, someone intervenes, and then DCUM white knights defend nanny. But just like this case, if nanny had not lost control of the child and get him to a point where we is standing at the top of the stairs screaming loud enough to attract attention from mom on another floor then this wouldn't have happened. Nannies job is to get child to the potty if she knows he needs to go, even if child would rather keep playing and pee his pants.

Long story short is a better nanny would never have had this problem.

You must a troll or just a bitch. My charge always tells me he has to potty and then sometimes he decides he doesn't want to go. So he'll let out a scream. Usually it takes a min and he chills out. Then uses the potty. When MB is home and rushes in to see what's wrong and babies him....he milks it. Then has an accident because she'll take him out of the bathroom.

But is it really an accident when he said he needed to go two min earlier and then refused to go and pees his pants right after?
I wouldn't consider that an accident tbh.

Three year olds scream. And cry. And some even tell stories, although out and out lying isn't usually seen until ~4. The best moms, dads, and nannies have screaming preschoolers who wet themselves sometimes. Geez PP.

Anyway, I absolutely talk to children about listening to our bodies, that is NOT too harsh. If you'd said, "What is wrong with you? You knew you had to pee why did you refuse!?" that would obviously not be right. This MB is crazy and you are better off without them. The fact that she was so intrigued by "nanny pushed me" tells you everything you need to know. Let her raise her own damn kid if that's how she's going to treat caregivers.

Anonymous wrote:Please - you did nothing wrong. The mother is insane. Be glad that you are done with them.

I disagree. I've read these same type of threads a few times and I always notice the same thing, nanny loses control of the child and situation, someone intervenes, and then DCUM white knights defend nanny. But just like this case, if nanny had not lost control of the child and get him to a point where we is standing at the top of the stairs screaming loud enough to attract attention from mom on another floor then this wouldn't have happened. Nannies job is to get child to the potty if she knows he needs to go, even if child would rather keep playing and pee his pants.

Long story short is a better nanny would never have had this problem.

Anonymous wrote:I've been working with this family for two years, it's very ocasional, I usually sit for them once or twice per month on Saturday afternoons. They have a three year old son who is not very verbal (he was a late talker and still doesn't speak well; I'm not sure why they haven't gotten a speech therapist yet). Two weeks ago I spent all day Saturday with him, when his mom came home she asked him about the day. The first thing he said was "[nanny] pushed me." His mom laughed and said "what? Are you sure?" He said "[nanny] pushed me and I didn't like it." His mom clearly became concerned (I don't really blame her honestly), and started asking more questions; he could tell she was very interested in what he has said, so he kept repeating what he'd already said. It took several minutes, but finally he added the crucial words "pushed me ON THE SWINGS and I didn't like it." I explained to her that I made him try the big boy swings, even though he still likes the baby swings. She said "well, next time let him use the baby swing!" I feel like, at 3 years old, he should start using the big boy swing, but oh well, I guess I can just push him in the baby swings next time. At least now my name is cleared from pushing a child!

I saw him again last weekend, and it didn't go great. He is potty trained, and while he was playing he said "I have to go potty!" We were playing in the attic playroom so we had to go down the stairs to get to the bathroom. His parents were home working downstairs (at least half the time I babysit one of his parents is home). I started helping him down the stairs, but after the first step he started screaming "No! I don't have to go! Noooo!" And started crying and resisting; jerking his hand from mine and holding on to the baby gate at the top of the stairs for dear life. I said "calm down, it's okay, let's just go potty and we can come right back and play!" But he continued screaming and crying, and his mom came to see what was going on. I explained it to her, and she said to him "do you have to go potty?" And he said no, and she said "just take him back upstairs, he doesn't have to go." Two minutes later, he'd peed through his pants and all over the rug.

I walked him downstairs to get a clean change of clothes and rug cleaner, and said as we walked "see, this is why we need to go potty right away when our body tells us it's time to go. Next time lets go potty right away, okay? It's faster to get back to playing when you go pee in the potty instead of cleaning up from an accident." His mom heard me and immediately grabbed him away from me and said "thats not how we respond when he has an accident. You're not supposed to make him feel bad after an accident! You should know that!" And she said to him, while hugging and kissing him, "that's okay, love, accidents happen. Mommy will help you clean up." After that we played another hour and then it was time for me to go home.

I haven't heard from them to schedule anything else. I'm kind of sad because I've been working with them for two years; I never pushed him (obviously!) but I feel like even that misunderstanding somehow created mistrust in his moms eyes. And I admit that I was using a bit of a sharp tone regarding the potty situation, but I was frustrated because I knew he had to go and I tried to get him to go, and, well, I wanted him to understand that it's important to go to the potty right away; I wanted him to know I was being serious about it. But I wasn't trying to make him feel bad or guilty or that he'd done anything wrong, I just kept saying "next time lets go right away so we don't have to clean up a mess," is that not something you should say?

I am trying to figure out how much of this is because I should've handled things better, and how much of it was his mom just making things difficult, and how much was just bad luck? Part of me almost feels like good riddance if they don't want me to sit anymore, but if I need to reevaluate my own methods to working with kids then I will.

Meh, that's a bit harsh for a kid you only occasionally babysit. I mean it's not like you are guiding the potty training day in and day out. Accidents happen. Help him get cleaned up but no need to tell him the rest of the stuff.

You did nothing wrong and the mom seems way over the top. Good riddance, really.

You can find a much, much better mother to work for OP - please do not feel bad! She was dead wrong and the kid sounds like he is a nightmare.

MB here. My oldest is almost 4, and once when we were walking down the street about half a year ago, she just stopped walking and when I looked back at her I saw pee going down her legs. We had to duck into a drugstore to buy new panties and socks and stuff. And yeah, I spoke pretty sharply to her. I don't feel bad about it - she should have told me she had to pee!

There's nothing wrong with what you said. Sometimes it's unsettling though, to hear someone who's not me talk to my kid sternly. I don't think you should worry about it.

Your child rearing styles seem very different. You are not a good fit for them an vise versa.

Dear lord! This isn't a place to write a novel!!!!

The mother and kid are both nuts. You should celebrate not working for the nutso mother and spoiled brat. I would have left him in his wet pants and let his mother clean up his mess.

Please - you did nothing wrong. The mother is insane. Be glad that you are done with them.

Employer here. She's nuts. Move on.

I've been working with this family for two years, it's very ocasional, I usually sit for them once or twice per month on Saturday afternoons. They have a three year old son who is not very verbal (he was a late talker and still doesn't speak well; I'm not sure why they haven't gotten a speech therapist yet). Two weeks ago I spent all day Saturday with him, when his mom came home she asked him about the day. The first thing he said was "[nanny] pushed me." His mom laughed and said "what? Are you sure?" He said "[nanny] pushed me and I didn't like it." His mom clearly became concerned (I don't really blame her honestly), and started asking more questions; he could tell she was very interested in what he has said, so he kept repeating what he'd already said. It took several minutes, but finally he added the crucial words "pushed me ON THE SWINGS and I didn't like it." I explained to her that I made him try the big boy swings, even though he still likes the baby swings. She said "well, next time let him use the baby swing!" I feel like, at 3 years old, he should start using the big boy swing, but oh well, I guess I can just push him in the baby swings next time. At least now my name is cleared from pushing a child!

I saw him again last weekend, and it didn't go great. He is potty trained, and while he was playing he said "I have to go potty!" We were playing in the attic playroom so we had to go down the stairs to get to the bathroom. His parents were home working downstairs (at least half the time I babysit one of his parents is home). I started helping him down the stairs, but after the first step he started screaming "No! I don't have to go! Noooo!" And started crying and resisting; jerking his hand from mine and holding on to the baby gate at the top of the stairs for dear life. I said "calm down, it's okay, let's just go potty and we can come right back and play!" But he continued screaming and crying, and his mom came to see what was going on. I explained it to her, and she said to him "do you have to go potty?" And he said no, and she said "just take him back upstairs, he doesn't have to go." Two minutes later, he'd peed through his pants and all over the rug.

I walked him downstairs to get a clean change of clothes and rug cleaner, and said as we walked "see, this is why we need to go potty right away when our body tells us it's time to go. Next time lets go potty right away, okay? It's faster to get back to playing when you go pee in the potty instead of cleaning up from an accident." His mom heard me and immediately grabbed him away from me and said "thats not how we respond when he has an accident. You're not supposed to make him feel bad after an accident! You should know that!" And she said to him, while hugging and kissing him, "that's okay, love, accidents happen. Mommy will help you clean up." After that we played another hour and then it was time for me to go home.

I haven't heard from them to schedule anything else. I'm kind of sad because I've been working with them for two years; I never pushed him (obviously!) but I feel like even that misunderstanding somehow created mistrust in his moms eyes. And I admit that I was using a bit of a sharp tone regarding the potty situation, but I was frustrated because I knew he had to go and I tried to get him to go, and, well, I wanted him to understand that it's important to go to the potty right away; I wanted him to know I was being serious about it. But I wasn't trying to make him feel bad or guilty or that he'd done anything wrong, I just kept saying "next time lets go right away so we don't have to clean up a mess," is that not something you should say?

I am trying to figure out how much of this is because I should've handled things better, and how much of it was his mom just making things difficult, and how much was just bad luck? Part of me almost feels like good riddance if they don't want me to sit anymore, but if I need to reevaluate my own methods to working with kids then I will.