One other suggestion is to throw her a bone fairly frequently, and ask her advice/what she would do about something even though you normally just take care of it.

And make a big deal about seeing her at the end of the day for the kid.

Basically, help build up her "mom sense."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's jealous and wants to be "mom," but you're the one who's there to actually do it. I get that she's rude and annoying, but little compassion might make it get to you less.

She wants to be the one who "knows best" for her own child.

Not OP but could you expand on this a little more? I am a nanny who is facing much the same issues as OP but was hired for my education in Early Childhood Development and experience. I do feel compassion for my MB but also was told by both she and DH because of my education and experience (and, quite frankly, I am being paid over market rate for my education and experience) however I am constantly being contradicted and corrected, too. MB could save a lot of money if she simply wants a "Yes Man".

I don't know what to do.

My point was just that she's acting childishly, but there's no way to stop her. All you can do is either control your reaction to her or quit. For whatever reason, she is insecure about her role. It might help to address the problem directly, particularly if there are particular areas where it comes up a lot, but other areas where she leaves you alone.

It could also really upset her if you bring it up. Maybe you know since you're there, but if you're not ready to quit, and you aren't sure, I wouldn't risk it.

Anonymous wrote:
Don't stay JUST because you love your charges. MOVE on!! grr sometimes I cant understand why nannies keep complaining about their Mam Boss yet keep continuing working with them for the reason 'I LOVE MY CHARGE"

Hish!!!

I don't know what Hish means ( ) but otherwise I totally agree.

Anonymous wrote:
Don't stay JUST because you love your charges. MOVE on!! grr sometimes I cant understand why nannies keep complaining about their Mam Boss yet keep continuing working with them for the reason 'I LOVE MY CHARGE"

Hish!!!

I agree. Yes, you love your charges but in the end you are not the parent. If mommy and/or daddy are so crazy/abusive/whatever you should quit and move on. You will love your new charge just as much.
Maybe OP needs to consider another profession?

Don't stay JUST because you love your charges. MOVE on!! grr sometimes I cant understand why nannies keep complaining about their Mam Boss yet keep continuing working with them for the reason 'I LOVE MY CHARGE"

Hish!!!

Anonymous wrote:She's jealous and wants to be "mom," but you're the one who's there to actually do it. I get that she's rude and annoying, but little compassion might make it get to you less.

She wants to be the one who "knows best" for her own child.

Then she should have chosen her child over her job. She didn't. Now shr is jealous and is doing irreparable harm to her child.

It's our own fault for allowing insecure parents to overstep healthy boundaries.

People hire and pay me for my experience and accomplishments. If they become confused about that, I'd rather move on.

Obedient sitters are a lot cheaper than professional nannies.
Let's not waste each other's time. Please.

Anonymous wrote:She's jealous and wants to be "mom," but you're the one who's there to actually do it. I get that she's rude and annoying, but little compassion might make it get to you less.

She wants to be the one who "knows best" for her own child.

Not OP but could you expand on this a little more? I am a nanny who is facing much the same issues as OP but was hired for my education in Early Childhood Development and experience. I do feel compassion for my MB but also was told by both she and DH because of my education and experience (and, quite frankly, I am being paid over market rate for my education and experience) however I am constantly being contradicted and corrected, too. MB could save a lot of money if she simply wants a "Yes Man".

I don't know what to do.

She's jealous and wants to be "mom," but you're the one who's there to actually do it. I get that she's rude and annoying, but little compassion might make it get to you less.

She wants to be the one who "knows best" for her own child.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We all have choices to make in life. If you are miserable then find another position. When you give notice say that it's just not a good fit anymore.

OP here. I made my choice - I want to stay right now because I love my charge and get very, very sad when I think of leaving him. I am not miserable at all when it is just my charge and I.

I posted to vent my frustration with my MB and pledge my new attitude of total and complete compliance with anything and everything she says from not on.

Life is short.
I've been a nanny for 10 years now. I have learned that my mental health is important. Please don't make yourself miserable because of an insecure person. Find a new position with sane employers. You will miss your charge but you will also be free to make choices and be happy.

Anonymous wrote:We all have choices to make in life. If you are miserable then find another position. When you give notice say that it's just not a good fit anymore.

OP here. I made my choice - I want to stay right now because I love my charge and get very, very sad when I think of leaving him. I am not miserable at all when it is just my charge and I.

I posted to vent my frustration with my MB and pledge my new attitude of total and complete compliance with anything and everything she says from not on.

We all have choices to make in life. If you are miserable then find another position. When you give notice say that it's just not a good fit anymore.

I feel for you. I feel the same way about the dog my nf has. Everything I do with the dog is wrong. The dog is very difficult and bites me and the kids constantly. I feel like I was hired to nanny a dog and be a warm body for the children sometimes because all I do is worry about the dog. Thankfully they have never criticized my nannying of the children. But the damn dog is driving me bonkers because everything I do is wrong.

I hear you. I get the same sh*t after my charge has done or said something that makes MB afraid that he likes me too much. When my charge is not happy to see me after spending a week away with his parents, my MB is beaming with smiles. Pathetic.

This is my new mantra. I am tired of every tiny decision I make regarding my charge being questioned and contradicted. From now on I will have no opinion or advice when asked - "whatever you feel is best" is my new response to anything and everything MB asks. If she feels that my charge should never touch a leaf or blade of grass due to the potentially toxic pesticides which are banned in our area - fine. His feet and hands will never leave the stroller again. If she feels that non-fat milk is the best choice for a 20 month old baby - fine. No more discussion from me.

I will continue to do the very best I can for my charge within his mother's guidelines. I am done receiving constant criticism when the choice is left to me and I always seem to make the wrong choice in her eyes. (If I make him broccoli, MB tells me it should have been green beans. If I make him green beans, MB tells me it should have been broccoli.)

I have been my charge's nanny since he was born. Everyone tells me how wonderful I am with him - his "Parent & Me" teacher, the librarians at the children's library, the "Music Together" teacher, neighbors who see us out and about -- but all I ever hear from MB is what she thinks I am doing wrong. My weekend nanny job made me realize how bad the MB/DB of my weekday job are.

I stay in this job ONLY because I love my charge and am not happy with any thought of leaving him.

Vent over. Thank you.