Children under 2 don't benefit from watching tv, but what would younger siblings do when their 5, 7, 12 year-old brothers and sisters watch their preferred shows? Would you always keep your children segregated?

I don't say this because I think you are wrong; tv should be a rare occurrence with a FT nanny, something she only turns to when she'd otherwise call out sick or maybe if the kids are very unwell - and even then it should be age appropriate (I only watch nature programs with 3 year olds). I say it because it sounds like this is your first child and you are worried about doing everything just right. You won't. You don't have to. Your daughter will turn out great regardless of whether or not she's exposed to 30 minutes of television per day. Breathe. You've got this.

Nanny here who has done many shares with toddlers. This is absolutely unacceptable, and it is 100% the nanny's fault! I agree with the PP who said that although the other share parents have told her they were okay with TV, it is extremely unlikely they told her their child /must/ watch TV. Your nanny is being paid too much to stick her charges in front of a TV, especially since you've already explicitly told her it is not okay.

My advice: get a new nanny. You've already spoken with her about it, yet your daughter is still obviously watching TV in her care. This is inexcusable. You do need to have another conversation with the other share parents though, and honestly you might need to consider finding a new family to share with, along with a new nanny, since they do seem pretty set on getting what they want without compromise (insisting their kid watches TV, and saying you are too uptight because you disagree).

Good luck.

Anonymous wrote:I would take the other family up on the offer to share. Differences in parenting styles is the most common source of tension with shares and it'll only continue from here. What about when one of the kids goes through a biting phase on the other family doesn't "believe" in discipline and just wants yours to take it? I'd go with a family whose approach is compatible.

When you hire a professional and compensate her as such, she should be doing the best thing for the children, not catering to the newest parenting style just because.

Anonymous wrote:Our nanny makes $65K a year, plus benefits.

In that case, I'd expect zero TV. She really should know better. Did you ask her why she's doing TV? Ask her about the other child and how that's going.

Our nanny makes $65K a year, plus benefits.

I would take the other family up on the offer to share. Differences in parenting styles is the most common source of tension with shares and it'll only continue from here. What about when one of the kids goes through a biting phase on the other family doesn't "believe" in discipline and just wants yours to take it? I'd go with a family whose approach is compatible.

Why would any nanny put her charges in front of the idiot box? This assumes she earns a decent wage of $20-30/hr.

Otherwise, you get what you pay for.

I have asked the nanny not to have the TV on. We are not paying for her to use the TV as the babysitter and I do not see the need for a toddler to watch TV. I think you are so right, OP.

^^And I say this as someone who was in a nanny share for over 5 years, with rotating partners but the same (excellent) nanny.

I think the nanny is the problem here, actually. I can't imagine the other share parents ever said "Our kid must watch an hour of cartoons each day." More likely, they never mentioned TV or said, at some point, "TV is OK." The nanny is turning on the TV because it's easier for her. Ask her nicely to please not do it anymore.

What if I just approached the other family and asked if we could have no TV during nanny share hours?

I think you need to find a different family to nanny share with. That's going to be the only solution.

I told the mom that we didn't want DD to watch TV and it wasn't recommended by our pediatrician. I also said since we are paying for a nanny, which is very expensive, we do not want any time to be spent with television watching. The other mom told me that me and my wife were too uptight and continue to have her child watching TV. It is making the situation difficult. I know at our house, they don't watch TV, but DD keeps talking about the cartoon characters and she barely talks.

OP here. I don't feel comfortable telling the other family that I disagree with their parenting style. I simply said we do not allow our daughter to watch any TV as she only 17 months. I also told our nanny that under no circumstances can she watch TV and that it was undermining our ability to enforce our rules regarding the TV.

My wife and I are in a great nanny share. We really like the other family and our dear child has a wonderful nanny. Now that are kids are toddlers, we have found that are parenting style differs a lot from the other family. It makes it difficult to instill the rules we have for our son, like no TV or screen time and no junk food except for special occasions. I already addressed it with the nanny and she tries to segregate our daughter from the other kid whose mom allows him to watch cartoons. The thing is, my daughter is now talking about these cartoons a lot, indicating to me that she is also watching TV. I was talking with a friend and they recommended another family. We really like the family but we hate that we have to be the "bad cop" with our daughter. We are not overly strict parents, but I see no benefit to TV when we are paying a very competitive rate for a nanny and also pay for supplemental activities like gymnastics, music and art classes for the nanny to take the kids. Any advice?