Get the hell out of there. Pronto.

Why does a 4 year old nap?

"MB, I wanted to speak with you about the decision you made to have 6yo no longer take quiet time in her room. As you know, I try to focus my attention on your kids when they are physically with me. That means I have been cleaning the kitchen while they both rest. I have also been taking about 30 minutes during rest time to eat my lunch and relax briefly, I have found in all my past jobs that a short break helps me stay cheerful and focused during my 11+ hour days.

I would like to have 6yo continue to have solo play time in the XXX room while I do chores and take my own short rest time. Then 6yo and I can work on school skills until 4yo wakes up and we have snack time. What do you think of that plan?"

And if/when she rejects that plan, ask her how she would like to manage your need for 30 minutes to rest and eat and recharge. If her answer is that you just have to deal with not getting a break, start looking for a new job asap.

If you are really a teacher and highly skilled, start looking for a new job. Your MB sounds super high maintenance and unreasonable, and I say this as an MB.

In the mean time, also tell her you can't do certain things.

Op your mb seems to be a control freak. If you know how to handle that sort of personality I'd stick with if the pay is good and she is respectful towards you. But if things like that cause uneasiness for you I'd talk to her and reassure her of the reason she hired you in the first place. Also yes you need some sort of down time. The kids may need to play separately for a while before rest time so that they won't fight. That way you still get a moment to eat etc then segue into rest time for your younger charge

Anonymous wrote:It's called JOB CREEP. Get out now because she is unreasonable. Also, pretty mesn, not allowing 6 yr old some down time.

This is what is concerning me. Will it only get worse? She is pretty anal about everything and constant texts me.

Anonymous wrote:I'm a little shocked by this issue and the ages of the kids. Surely a 4 and a 6 year old can play nicely by themselves for a while - allowing you to do laundry or even read a magazine. Do they not play by themselves a lot?

They can as long as they are in a good mood but usually only for about 10 minutes before they fight so I stay with them to mediate and facilitate board games etc. that's why it's been hard to simply clean up alone because they literally fight all the time but are angels when I have them separately which is rare. They've been together a lot due to summer and annoy one another a lot.

It's called JOB CREEP. Get out now because she is unreasonable. Also, pretty mesn, not allowing 6 yr old some down time.

I'm a little shocked by this issue and the ages of the kids. Surely a 4 and a 6 year old can play nicely by themselves for a while - allowing you to do laundry or even read a magazine. Do they not play by themselves a lot?

Anonymous wrote:I don't have any downtime in my job and work similar hours. I eat my lunch with the kids. HOWEVER, if I am with my charges all the time doing tutoring, activities, etc. I do NO laundry or chores. The kids help me clean the kitchen after lunch.

And no, no MB I have ever had has given me a schedule.

Thank you for your input. Sometimes I don't know if I'm overthinking things. The schedule thing is a bit worrisome and it doesn't even align with our days realistically and I change it anyway to keep them more active. Whenever I do try to eat with them it's "can I have some of that?" " more this please..." "Oops I spilled that" so it's near impossible. I forgot to mention that she also leaves me to preparing dinner. At first it was heating nuggets and simple things I could do in 5 10 minutes with no issue. But now it's cooking ground meat and making tacos, baked chicken etc. I told her before that I'm fine with those kind of meals when they state school because I can do it while they are gone. Guess I'll be leaving unfinished laundry and dishes for her if she wants my little girl to have tutoring the entire time. She made it seem like that was why she hired me in the first place because of my teaching background. I agree to the light chores though and don't have a problem with it if I'm allotted time. There's going to have to be a trade off and I guess I may have to look around if the micro managing doesn't let up.

I don't have any downtime in my job and work similar hours. I eat my lunch with the kids. HOWEVER, if I am with my charges all the time doing tutoring, activities, etc. I do NO laundry or chores. The kids help me clean the kitchen after lunch.

And no, no MB I have ever had has given me a schedule.

Lol now that I've typed it I'm wondering if I should be concerned that when not there to read her notes that she feels the need to email me the schedule for the following day. I'm not a mother so I'm wondering if this is normal for some?

Anonymous wrote:I don't think you're being unreasonable. That is a very long day you're working. However, I can understand why the mother does not want a 6 yr old napping. Presumably the job will feel dramatically different when the older child goes to school in a few weeks right? Can you tough it out until then?

Can the 6 year old have some quiet time reading, or playing w/ puzzles (or some other game) that gives you a bit of a breather?

Thank you pp, op here. I'm off today and this has been bothering me that it may snowball into a bigger issue and wanted some advice so I could email her back before tomorrow. Yes she actually emails me a schedule for them daily and it says the same thing every day lol. I have 10 experience and never had an issue with micromanaging so I'm wondering if I should be concerned about this. I've only been with them since the end of April.

But I will let her go into the playroom on the main level with me while I do chores etc and see if that will work

I don't think you're being unreasonable. That is a very long day you're working. However, I can understand why the mother does not want a 6 yr old napping. Presumably the job will feel dramatically different when the older child goes to school in a few weeks right? Can you tough it out until then?

Can the 6 year old have some quiet time reading, or playing w/ puzzles (or some other game) that gives you a bit of a breather?

My charges are 6 & 4 I'm with them from 7:45 to 6:45 pm sometimes 6:30. There are no camps or anything signed up for the rest of the summer. The 4 yr old naps for 2 hours daily. At first mb said 6 yr could read or play quietly in her room for a little while during resting time. Most of the time she asks if she can sleep & I have to explain she won't get to nap when school starts and mb doesn't want her to actually nap. She likes to lay down for a few minutes ( I'm fine with it because she will get cranky and patient with her brother if she doesn't)
During the 2 hours I'd use 30 minutes cleaning the kitchen from bfast and lunch then prepare my own ( constantly up & down when they eat & can't actually enjoy my meal and not hungry at that time) I do laundry and put it away empty dishwasher etc. the next 30 I would eat and read a bit or just sit down for a few minutes then Go get her and we work on reading sight words and math for about 45 minutes then I let her help me prepare a snack and we get her brother up.

Now mb has been leaving me notes and we usually go over the day together before she leaves. I notice now she is writing down to keep the 6 yr old with me downstairs the whole time. and to work with her the entire time? Is she not realizing I need some time to hear myself think or rest. Not sure if I should start looking around. Is this a red flag? Am I being unreasonable to think I should at least get 15 minutes quiet time at some point? They are not babies