Anonymous wrote:why is this so hard?? we love our nanny and pay her well ($20/hr for one fully potty trained child). She is treated like family. I'm trying to figure out how to politely ask her to clean up after meals. and after playtime. i.e. - put toys back in the toy box, do not leave dirty dishes in the sink.. take the extra minute to rinse them and put them in the dishwasher. wipe down the kitchen counter from crumbs, etc. This is such a pet peeve of mine. After working all day and paying a nanny, I don't think I should have to come home to dirty dishes and crumbs all over the counter tops.

Anyway, hoping someone would give some advice on how to politely ask her to do this. or is it just something that she doesn't feel she should need to do?

Shit. Even my AuPair does this AND sweeps the floor each day at 4:30. I come home to a house exactly as I left it and we have 2 kids.

You have a pretty lazy ovwrpaid nanny.

The kids should be helping to put the toys away once they are mobile, and up to that point, toys shouldn't be scattered anyway.

If the nanny is cooking and feeding dinner just before you get home, no, she doesn't have time to do the dishes. If there is at least a 30 minute nap between the last dishes used for cooking/feeding and when you get home, or your child can have play time for 20-30 minutes without nanny playing with the child, then sure, she should absolutely be doing this. Personally, the only reason I leave things undone is if I was doing other things the parent prioritizes, the child gets sick suddenly or the child refuses to nap.

No, you shouldn't have to walk into your home at the end of a long work-day & have to see crumbs on the counter, dirty dishes in your sink as well as scattered toys about. Plus, you are paying your nanny quite well so she needs to step up her game.

I would kindly ask her if she wouldn't "mind" straightening up the house prior to you coming home each day? Specify you would like any dishes used during her stay to be rinsed and left in the dishwasher. Also, ask her to please wipe up any crumbs left after a meal.

I am a nanny + if my boss asked me to do this stuff, I would comply immediately. Because I know this is all common sense stuff that ALL nannies should already know to do.

Good luck.

This reminds me of something a former client told me. She'd hired me as a summer nanny for her two elementary schoolers. She told me that the previous summer she had hired the 16 year old who lived a few houses down for $9/hr. The kids had a lot of fun with her, but she came home every single day to a huge mess in the play areas and the kitchen. She said it was worth it to her to double her childcare costs (hiring me at $18/hr) just to have the peace of mind to know she'd be coming home to a clean house. Right now it sounds like you're paying for the real nanny but only getting the actual experience of a neighborhood high schooler (decent with the kid maybe but subpar in other aspects).

Anonymous wrote:OP here -the house is normally left clean - dishes and toys cleaned up.. its really the pots/pans and dishes used for meals that is upsetting me. I can't stand coming home after a full day of work to dishes in the sink when I'm paying someone to help (who said this was part of her job initially). not to mention, she has roughly 2 free hours in the afternoon when my child is napping.. why do I have to ask this???

First, she is "helping" - she is caring for the health and well being of your child every day so you can go to work.

Second, why the hell are there so many pots and pans from making the baby breakfast and lunch?

Third, just put on your big girl panties and tell your employee what is expected of her and to leave the kitchen and playroom as she found it in the morning. Period. Grow a set.

I would just kindly remind her that you're having a really hard time dealing with the dirty pots and pans when you come home. Ask her politely to please clean them up.

Something like, "Suzy, I love how you did X and Y with DC today! He had so much fun.... By the way, I've been meaning to talk with you about the kitchen. I'd really appreciate it if you could clean up the pots and pans before you leave. I know you're busy during the day and want DC to be your priority of course, but if you could do them before leaving for the day then, that'd be great. Thanks."

Have one talk with her about it, and if things don't change in the next few weeks (and be sure to watch out for perhaps an initial change for the better and then a total backslide a week or two later), then it's time to get a new nanny. This is seriously nanny 101; cleaning up after herself and the child. You aren't asking for laundry or vacuuming or anything beyond the very most basic duties of her job. For $20/hr for one child you definitely deserve to come home to a tidy home (not dirty dishes in the sink!)

You know we love you, but we've got to talk about these pots and pans. Can you start cleaning them as part of your routine?

Remind her that it is a standard duty of nannies to clean up all kid messes.

OP here -the house is normally left clean - dishes and toys cleaned up.. its really the pots/pans and dishes used for meals that is upsetting me. I can't stand coming home after a full day of work to dishes in the sink when I'm paying someone to help (who said this was part of her job initially). not to mention, she has roughly 2 free hours in the afternoon when my child is napping.. why do I have to ask this???

Do you leave dishes for her to clean up or leave toys out for her to clean up? If so, don't complain.

Agree with pp its more a personality thing some people just aren't the tidy type. Either you have to constantly keep reminding her if you are up for it or find a better match.

Is she still relatively new? Maybe have a "first month check-in" and tell her all things she does that you love - let that take up the bulk of your check-in - and then say you just wanted to review a couple items that it would really help you have a smooth transition to the evening with the kids - that essentially you want to come home to a clean slate, with dishes, crumbs, toys, kid's laundry all put away. And in return, you aim to give the nanny a clean slate in the morning so they can have a fresh start to their day.

Then close the conversation with how happy you are with her and you're relieved to see it's working out so well.

But if she's not new, and you've tried addressing it, your nanny may simply not be a tiddy person. That's hard to change, I'm afraid.

I would remind her that she needs to clean up after meals and playing - sometimes people just let things slide. "Mary, I know you are really busy with DC and you are doing a great job but I do need you to make sure the kitchen is clean and his toys are put away before you leave."

I am assuming you leave the kitchen clean and DC's toys put away before she get to work.

I am a nanny and I do no household chores that are not directly related to child-care. But I do every chore that is related to child care and would never leave so much as a dirty spoon in the sink or my charge's toys laying around. It is not too much for you nanny to do as you request.

why is this so hard?? we love our nanny and pay her well ($20/hr for one fully potty trained child). She is treated like family. I'm trying to figure out how to politely ask her to clean up after meals. and after playtime. i.e. - put toys back in the toy box, do not leave dirty dishes in the sink.. take the extra minute to rinse them and put them in the dishwasher. wipe down the kitchen counter from crumbs, etc. This is such a pet peeve of mine. After working all day and paying a nanny, I don't think I should have to come home to dirty dishes and crumbs all over the counter tops.

Anyway, hoping someone would give some advice on how to politely ask her to do this. or is it just something that she doesn't feel she should need to do?