Anonymous wrote:Agree as well with 9:38. I'd be tempted to look for a temporary nanny for the summer (maybe a college student). She sounds like she is causing you a lot of stress.

That's not what 9:38 said at all...

Agree as well with 9:38. I'd be tempted to look for a temporary nanny for the summer (maybe a college student). She sounds like she is causing you a lot of stress.

9:38 is spot on.

Which are you trying to do:

1. find someone to share with you for the next 2 months

OR

2. find your nanny another family after you leave?

I think it's on you to do #1 and it's on her to do #2.

So stop doing #2 if that's what you're doing.

As regards #1: If you can't afford to pay the whole thing from now until July, then you'll have to try to find a share family. Post it on your lissterve, say it's temporary, and be willing to take a family who isn't your favorite, or a child who isn't quite the age you think is perfect. Honestly, there are kids who are exiting kindergarten whose parents might like a nanny for the summer, and could make June and July only work, as they'd then find camp or take their own vacation in August. But you'd have to be willing to have a kindergartener in the share along with your child. Or someone who just lost their nanny might be willing to start with you until they find someone permanently, which this person could end up being, by the way.....

MB here, who is going through a very similar thing with the nanny who just left us after several years.

I think it's your responsibility to find another family to fill out the share (if that's under consideration.)

It is NOT your job to find your nanny a new position. You should not be "frantically" doing anything. Tell her where you have posted the information thus far, write her a lovely reference letter in which you make it clear that you are happy to be contacted as a reference, and tell her to let you know if you can be of any other support.

Then let it go. You are not wholly responsible for her, not even partially.

If you are able you can give her some severance which will help her financially, but with all the notice she is being given I don't think that's critical. It is something tangible you can do though. You can also let her know how to pursue unemployment in Maryland (which, by the way, is pretty rigorous in their requirements in terms of expecting people to be actively job searching.)

OP here.

I don't mean to sound heartless. I am actually terrified that we will leave our wonderful nanny high and dry when we move in July. She has a family and I am sure that as a low-income working in Mont C. even a small decrease in her income could be catastrophic. However, I thought it would be a bit more of a partnership, e.g. she could potentially go on care.com etc and find people, or even do some advertising herself. Her english is not that great so I get that I need to be her advocate and work with her on this. However, if we don't find someone soon.. I don't think we will find someone and I just don't know if I can keep trying to find her a position once we are out of the area! Apparently, according to her, she is has always found a new position quickly, so I don't know what is different this time around... It is just incredibly stressful to feel like I am wholly responsible for this wonderful women's livelihood!

I think the responsibility to find another share family is more on you than it is on the nanny. You're the one who sets the hours and the terms of the nanny's contract, so it's on you to find a family that's willing to accept the package as is - or it's on you to adjust your hours to accommodate a new family. Your nanny isn't in a position to command you to shift your hours to make it more appealing to share families.

If after a few weeks, you haven't found another family and the paying the nanny her full rate in her contract is not sustainable for you, then you can be honest with the nanny that you're not in a position to pay twice what you were previously paying, so would she be able to accept a more standard rate for one family or do you need to look for another children situation to cover the next two months? It's summer, so there should be temp nannies available.

Anything you do on your own time to assist your nanny in finding a new position is considered goodwill and a kind gesture.

In NO WAY are you responsible for helping her find a new position. That is all on her.

Just write her an excellent letter of reference and that should suffice.

I think its both. You're doing all you can but she shouldn't just sit back either. You both should be actively looking. Or have an honest sit down with her and ask if she doesn't want to find another family for 2 months.

I mean, it sucks for her. She just lost part of her income from this family and she knows you're leaving in 2 months. Which means she'll be exactly where she is now. If I were her, I'd be looking for a completely different job.

- Signed an MB who understands your dilemma but gets that its the nanny who is really getting screwed by all of this.

Anonymous wrote:The nanny is responsible for keeping 2 clients, not you. Why do you think share nannies get paid so much, it's like built in unemployment insurance and you have already been paying it all along. Just keep paying her your normal portion, if she wants to find someone else to supplement then let her, otherwise just ride out your time paying your normal rate.

It absolutely is NOT the nanny's job to find a new share partner. It is up to the parent's to keep the share functioning normally.
I've always had in my contracts that upon the exit of one member of the share, I am paid my full wages until a suitable replacement is found.
You have no business employing anyone.

Of course it is not your place to find your nanny another job. You know that -- so why are you doing it?

The nanny is responsible for keeping 2 clients, not you. Why do you think share nannies get paid so much, it's like built in unemployment insurance and you have already been paying it all along. Just keep paying her your normal portion, if she wants to find someone else to supplement then let her, otherwise just ride out your time paying your normal rate.

We were in a nanny share and the other family dropped out unexpectedly. We are moving in two months so this is super awkward timing. Our nanny has done nothing to help find another family while i am frantically posting on listserves etc. I am not sure if I would have done the nanny share if I had know I was responsible for the employment of the nanny!

Just venting!