If I was to take a job with an infant, and 2 other young children that are either home all day or need to be shuffled from place to place I don't do extra tasks. I keep the house tidy but no laundry, no dishes except what I used. It's to hard. Some infants can't be put down and the other 2 kids need my attention as well. If my employers want extra tasks they can pay me an extra he each day to do them when I don't have child care responsibilitys

MB here. Three days isn't very long, and 3 little kids take some time to learn how to manage in any given household.

I would be giving her regular feedback - especially at the end of your first week. (Good for you for having a trial period.)


- I think you're doing a great job with.... (come up w/ some positive examples...)
- How are things going for you?
- I feel like you're struggling with some of the things we envision as part of the job (give some specifics). Why do you think that is happening?
- Some things we can be flexible on, other things are really critical (perhaps being on time falls in this category), so those are non-negotiable.
-The whole purpose for a trial period is to see if this is a good fit for you and us. How do you feel about that so far?

Etc...

Basically, this early on I'd be inclined to strive for some direct conversation and seeing whether I'm being unrealistic in my expectations, she needs some more time or has some ideas about how to do things better, or she really can't do what you need (and may perhaps have been manageable by a predecessor.)

Three days seems early to throw in the towel if you aren't having to address basic safety, temperament, honesty, etc...

Good for you for having a trial component...I think ALL families as well as nannies should have this because it just doesn't make any practical sense not to.

Just let her know that her being late was an issue with you as well as her not cleaning up after the kids. Let it be a learning tool for her so in her next position, she will know what her "weaknesses" are.

If you really have a ton of guilt, you can always pay her a little severance pay upon letting her go. But considering that she didn't do her job well, it wouldn't be necessary.

Good luck and I hope your dream nanny is around the corner.

With kids that young how many extra tasks are you giving her? There are 3 kids, under 4 and she doesn't even know them or their routine yet. I would reevaluate if what you're asking her to do is too much and if you don't think it is, talk to her and tell her this is a deal breaker for you.

How long has she been with you? From what you say, it's been a few days. She cares for 3 children under 4. GIVE HER TIME TO FIGURE IT OUT. Someone who seems to genuinely care for your children isn't someone you just toss aside. Give her a couple of weeks. That's when a nanny starts getting into her groove. I will say, however, that being 20 minutes late (especially on her second day) is unacceptable.
What excuse did she give?

Anonymous wrote:What other daily tasks do you have her doing with three kids under the age of 4? That's a lot for anyone, and there is a learning curve with any new job/family. Give her a chance to find her groove.

I agree. I only have two kids (3.5 and 9 months old) and the only guaranteed time that my nanny can do "other items" is when my 3 y/o is at preschool and the baby is napping (and all of my 'other' items are strictly kid related. I think it's ridiculous that you have a bunch of other tasks for someone taking care of an infant and 2 additional kids 4 and under. I know how tired I am after taking care of my boys all day, and can only imagine how genuinely tired your nanny must feel.

What other daily tasks do you have her doing with three kids under the age of 4? That's a lot for anyone, and there is a learning curve with any new job/family. Give her a chance to find her groove.

thanks for the feedback. We have three children (pre-k, preschool and infant)

Ask her how SHE thinks it's going. Go over the duties she's supposed to be doing and ask if she thinks she's meeting them. Ask if she understands that keeping the job is contingent upon completing all the duties. Ask if she'd like them written out in list format so she can refer to them during the day easily.

Or just say "You know, this really isn't working since you're not meeting the requirements of the job that we laid out with you in the interview. Good day."

j/k about the good day part.

How many children do yo have? What are the ages ?

Anonymous wrote:Better to pull the plug now. Just be honest but vague: "We just don't feel that you are a good fit for us long-term, but we wish you the best." And maybe give her more notice than the bare minimum if you can.

+1

Better to pull the plug now. Just be honest but vague: "We just don't feel that you are a good fit for us long-term, but we wish you the best." And maybe give her more notice than the bare minimum if you can.

How old are your children?

"This is not working out. Thank you." short and sweet.

We just started working with a new nanny. i can't put my finger on it, but I don't think it's going to work out. She was 20 minutes late on her 2nd day. She hasn't been picking up after the kids as is in our agreement and as I've explained to her, and she isn't completing other daily tasks. She is a very nice person, and the kids like her. But it feels like she is a great babysitter, just not a nanny. We have a trial component to our agreement, so we can terminate for any reason. I guess I just feel badly about it. What are others experiences with this - nanny and MB/DB? What is the most respectful way to handle this?