11:14, too bad you didn't appeal. However, after you had worked 30 days for another employer, you could have reapplied and they could not have stopped your unemployment.

The dynamic in my NF changed considerably when I gave notice. My contract required I gave 6 weeks, but I gave 3 months, as they knew since my interview I would be going to grad school in the fall. I thought I was being considerate by letting them know so they had ample time to find a replacement. I loved those kids. After giving notice, they made no mention of it, but began to micromanage me. They fired me two weeks later for a very petty cause and did so in a very cruel and bitter way. This was several weeks after getting a birthday bonus and them joking about calling my grad school to tell them I was a drug addict so I could stay (should have been a warning sign in retrospect). I found out that I was denied unemployment because they lied and said I had left their child alone for an extended period of time (he was 4 and I ran outside to grab something. Took me 20 seconds and I could see him through the screen door the whole time). I feel hurt and they have public ally dragged my character through the mud after 6 months of very hard work for them. Thank god I found a temp job to tide me over. However, I will never work in childcare again. This experience has left me experiencing crippling anxiety and bad flashbacks. Give as little notice as is required of you and beware. Some parents think they are entitled to your life and will turn abusive when you assert yourself.

For some odd reason, once a family finds out their current nanny is leaving...Even if she gave more than adequate notice to them (which you did), they begin to act + feel differently toward her.

I am not exactly sure why, but I suspect they feel that they are being abandoned. Either that or they resent the fact that now they are going to have to start their nanny search from scratch. Oh well. Such is life.

A family that only thinks about themselves and their own needs is not one you want to work for anyhow. Sometimes it takes situations like this to see a family's true colors.

If you really need them as a reference, then try to keep things as civil as possible for your last weeks. Easier said than done, I know...But a good reference may be vital in your future resumes.

Good luck.

When I gave notice to my previous family the only change was a bit of sadness. We basically went on as usual, but MB kept telling me how sad she was that I was leaving. It's really sad if your NF can't treat you well for your last couple of weeks with them, but that's the way it goes with some families. They want you to be around for your use until their children are in school or able to stay home alone.

I had a family that I worked for very part time while I was in college. Obviously that wasn't going to be a super long term position, but I was with them for two years. They still seemed shocked that I wanted to find a full time position when I graduated, and that I wouldn't be able to fit picking their daughter up from school into my schedule.

Of course, it changes. That's totally normal. It shouldn't be tense, and they should respect you for giving so much notice, but it's probably hard for them not to be upset that you're leaving and they have to find someone new. What were the circumstances of your quitting? Is it possible they are upset about why you are leaving?

Anonymous wrote:You were crazy to give so much notice. Two weeks is more than sufficient for the very reason you state. Never give more notice than money you can afford to lose.

This is the ugly truth, people.

You were crazy to give so much notice. Two weeks is more than sufficient for the very reason you state. Never give more notice than money you can afford to lose.

FWIW, it can feel much the same way from the other side also. You can give someone tons of notice and really try to be as supportive and decent as possible but it changes the dynamic immediately, and it's likely that any personal loyalty goes out the window.

It's the rare person and relationship that can override those human instincts.

I have had two very different experiences. When I was a live-in I gave the family 4 weeks notice and they ended up kicking me out of the house the next day and they refused to let me use them as a reference even though they had just told me in a performance review that they were extremely happy with me. The next family I gave 5 weeks notice and they were sad but wonderful and supportive during the whole 5 weeks.

I'm so sorry, OP.

Your experience is what usually happens. Nanny employers so often feel a sense of entitlement to your continued commitment to them. Until they're done with you.

Expect to be let go, as soon as they can replace you. It's the typical process.

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, OP, I know it is not fair to you. But a nanny relationship is so personal that feelings get hurt very easily and deeply when you are leaving. Part is the natural desire to distance oneself from someone you have been close to in order to spare the pain of good-bye. And the other is a feeling of betrayal - although unfounded.

If you are leaving for another nanny position, your employers feel "jilted".

Keep doing the very, very best you can and make sure to prepare your charges. Let them know how much you care for them and
that your leaving has nothing to do with
them.

Thank you! I am not leaving for another nanny position.

I'm sorry, OP, I know it is not fair to you. But a nanny relationship is so personal that feelings get hurt very easily and deeply when you are leaving. Part is the natural desire to distance oneself from someone you have been close to in order to spare the pain of good-bye. And the other is a feeling of betrayal - although unfounded.

If you are leaving for another nanny position, your employers feel "jilted".

Keep doing the very, very best you can and make sure to prepare your charges. Let them know how much you care for them and that your leaving has nothing to do with them.

Anonymous wrote:I think that's pretty normal unfortunately. It may settle down after a week or so and everyone gets used to the idea of moving on.

I gave notice three weeks ago.

I think that's pretty normal unfortunately. It may settle down after a week or so and everyone gets used to the idea of moving on.

I gave more then six weeks of notice out of consideration. It has not been the same since then... it is a very tense situation. Has anyone ever been in that position?