I only do if there isn't time to meet with them if it's like a date night situation or an occasional sitter and they had just called you. Otherwise if I'm meeting them for a regular job then no, I do not like my references being bothered before hand if they are not going to hire me.

Even if references are asked for before the interview, it may just be to see that you have any, and they won't actually be called until after the interview.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's best practice to check refs before meeting. It's always going to be a risk inviting a complete stranger from care.com over to my house but at least calling refs and hearing how wonderful you are makes me feel a little better.

This might be the best practice for you, but not for the nanny.
I would never risk exhausting a reference because some some stranger needed reassurance before inviting me over.
No way. It is customary to offer a reference after the first interview.

Yes meet first. And for the poster that doesn't want to invite a stranger to interview in their home, pick a neutral spot like a coffee house to meet.

Anonymous wrote:I think it's best practice to check refs before meeting. It's always going to be a risk inviting a complete stranger from care.com over to my house but at least calling refs and hearing how wonderful you are makes me feel a little better.

The nanny should first check you out in a coffee shop. How would she know if you're really a rapist waiting to rape her?

Anonymous wrote:I'm an MB. I would never call references before meeting someone for an initial interview. I don't want to waste my time or anyone else's. If I like someone after I meet them, then I check references.

I also would never give references to a prospective employer until I'm a final candidate for the job.

Exactly.

I'm an MB. I would never call references before meeting someone for an initial interview. I don't want to waste my time or anyone else's. If I like someone after I meet them, then I check references.

I also would never give references to a prospective employer until I'm a final candidate for the job.

I'm a live-in nanny, and I don't always meet the family in person before accepting a trial period. I ask questions online with my application, and based on the family's answers (and whether they ask me anything), I decide whether I want to interview with them. I do interviews over the phone or skype, and while I've had a few families that were willing to either come to me while traveling or pay for me to come interview with them, it's not the norm. After interviewing, I'm willing to give reference information, access to my background check and driving record, do drug testing and have the test results sent to them, but not until I've at least done the initial phone or skype interview. Most of the families understand that, some don't, but that's one of many red flags I use to determine whether I want to work for and live with a family.

I only give references if I'm interested in the job. If I'm interviewing with several people, I don't want them all to call my references. That will get annoying quick.

I get why people ask for them ahead of meeting, but parents have to understand that this isn't good practice for anyone else involved.

Anonymous wrote:I think it's best practice to check refs before meeting. It's always going to be a risk inviting a complete stranger from care.com over to my house but at least calling refs and hearing how wonderful you are makes me feel a little better.

This might be the best practice for you, but not for the nanny.
I would never risk exhausting a reference because some some stranger needed reassurance before inviting me over.
No way. It is customary to offer a reference after the first interview.

I think it's best practice to check refs before meeting. It's always going to be a risk inviting a complete stranger from care.com over to my house but at least calling refs and hearing how wonderful you are makes me feel a little better.

Oi always take the references with mead I give to them.

I only give my references upon meeting.

I agree with both you OP as well as the above PP.

It makes no sense to exhaust your references.

It is best to meet a family in person, then see if both sides are on the same page regarding hours, pay, etc. Also it is necessary to meet in person in order to know if there is good chemistry thus ensuring a suitable match.

If things look good at that point, then the potential employer should check a potential nanny's references and if they check out, can hire her.

Do not give out your former employer's contact info to complete strangers online.

And if any family has a gripe about not receiving your references prior to meeting in person, then at least you will know sooner rather than later that that family is not a good match at all for you.

Good luck. ~

Tell them you'd like to first meet with them before they contact your refs. This is out of respect for your former employers. Why bother former employers if you don't want the job?

Im a relatively experienced nanny. Normally I give references and my recommendation letters at the interview. I'm currently searching for my next family and have been asked by two people for references. One asked me before we spoke on the phone for references and my recommendation letters ( all 3 of them). The second one had a phone conversation and asked for them but we have an interview for this weekend. I've never been asked for them before an in-person interview.