Anonymous wrote:My current au pair has no problem calling us by first names, which is what we say to call us. But I did notice our prior au pairs generally avoided calling us by our names at all. They have all been European. I do the same thing to my mother in law--I am supposed to call her "mom" but I don't like to, so I avoid it.

Now that you say this, I can't picture our au pair actually saying my name! I know he refers to me as "mommy" when he talks to the children, because that is what they call me, and he calls my MIL "Mima," which is again what the children call her. He speaks of DH to me by his first name, but I don't recall him actually addressing us by name. Interesting!

My current au pair has no problem calling us by first names, which is what we say to call us. But I did notice our prior au pairs generally avoided calling us by our names at all. They have all been European. I do the same thing to my mother in law--I am supposed to call her "mom" but I don't like to, so I avoid it.

Ours calls us Ms/Mr FirstName.

I'm in my 40s and 25 years older than our AP, so it's not at all unreasonable to think I am old enough to be his mother.

Anonymous wrote:Are you in your 40's? And presumably old enough to be her parent?

Not the OP, but if I had started having babies at 14, I could technically be her mom.

My AP calls us by our first names.

OP here - she's Asian and we're in our 40s. Thanks so much - very helpful!

First names only.

First name. I would just tell her you would like to be called by her first name. Which nationality is she, out of curiosity?

I have a similar conversation with our French APs during matching. That they should address me with Tu and not Vous, which can be awkward for some of them.

First name only. She's only 10 years younger than I am. She could be my little sister, which is kind of how I think of her.

By first name.

Is she from a country where it is impolite to call your boss, an elder or somebody you don't know well in general by their title and/or last name instead of first name?
If so, explain to her that it is normal and expected to call your host parents by their first name in English.

by our first names

Are you in your 40's? And presumably old enough to be her parent?

They call me by my first name. They call my mom "grandma," which my mom thinks is sort of cute.

We have been hosting for ages, and all our APs and their friends have always called us by first names, and all their friend have also called their HPs by first names. I've honestly never heard anything else. Maybe your Lcc can help by explaining that it's totally normal and expected?

We've encouraged her to call us by our first names, but she seems reluctant. So, she doesn't call us anything which to us is even more awkward.