FWIW, there are lots of different ways to handle a transition like this, including ways to do it fairly quickly without a lot of prep. If the child's routine, daily schedule, and parents are all remaining stable, and if the parents handle the transition well, then it can be done with a minimum of notice to the child. It doesn't have to be traumatic whether a lot or a little notice is given. It mostly has to be calm, non-disruptive and well managed.

Anonymous wrote:I disagree about starting now to tell her. Why cause anxiety when it's not needed. The week before is plenty of time

Not a good idea at all. That would cause horrible anxiety. I started telling nanny kids a few months ago and I'm leaving in September. I explain that they are getting older and will be going to preschool soon, that they will have teachers now and I'll be going to take care of a new little baby but will visit. They are starting to get excited about school and I answer all questions about me leaving and why. They understand that things change as they get older so it's easy to grasp as they get used to the idea. You don't spring this on a child. They are losing in some cases a primary caregiver who they are bonded too. If you have time then you give them as much as possible.

Considering that you are parting on amicable terms here, I am assuming she has been an amazing nanny for these past three years. What I would do is offer her either a cash gift or a gift card as a parting gift.

As for discussing her absence to your child, I would begin telling her so she can have enough time to prepare. June is next month + your child should be told now.

I know you will have an au pair, but perhaps you can have the nanny come by occasionally for visits or even do some "date night" babysitting on occasion for you. That way the au pair will get some time off and your daughter can still have your former nanny around to spend some time with.

Good luck.

I started telling my 3 1/2 year old the Monday of the week nanny was leaving. Nanny was having a baby and leaving on her terms. We just said she was going to take care of a baby and he was getting a big boy nanny. I had him draw a card, pick out a present, etc. On Friday, I took a half day from work came home early we all went to lunch ( a real treat) and had mini celebration for nanny. She came and visited a few times after that. I also was lucky enough that new nanny was able to come a few Saturday's before so the transition was very nice.

I disagree about starting now to tell her. Why cause anxiety when it's not needed. The week before is plenty of time

You can tell her she is graduating from needing a nanny, maybe even have a little ceremony if you're up for that, and that nanny will move on to a new baby or little girl/boy. I think it's good to start sooner than later and introduce ap via Skype if you can. Maybe nanny can help your daughter make a welcome sign for the ap.

Lots of great ideas above.

Also, know that your daughter will take her biggest cues from you OP. This is a happy transition, with your daughter's world expanding, not shrinking. Approach it that way and it will be fine.

You should definitely start talking to DC now about how she is getting so big that she doesn't need a nanny anymore, but she will still see nanny etc. I would have some specific "dates" with nanny on the calendar for the first month or so. E.g., nanny takes her to the zoo or a movie or something fun they will both enjoy on an evening or weekend. That will help her see right away that nanny is still around.

I would start by talking about the new Au Pair now. Have them Skype so your daughter will have an idea about who is coming. Then you and your nanny should talk to your DD and tell her the nanny is leaving because a new baby needs her now. When I transitioned from my last job that's what we did. We also do monthly "dates" and I gave my charges self addressed, stamped envelopes so they can send me mail. I always write them a letter back too for every one I get from them. It's been almost a year now and they are happily adjusted. Good luck OP, I know this will be hard, but it won't scar your little one for life.

Anonymous wrote:OP here--Nanny will not be far away and is attached to our daughter so I would expect visits. I also think we may use nanny on occasion when we want to go out on a Saturday night. Still trying to figure out how far in advance we should tell DD....do we do it the day before or do we do it now so she has a few weeks to get used to the idea? Or is that just going to confuse her?

Please do not spring it on her the day before!!! OMG - NO!!! Yes, get her warmed up tot he idea and have your nanny do it as well. Start with the new girl that is going to come live with her and then move on to the nanny leaving. Stay very positive (both you and nanny).

I actually have tears in my eyes thinking about the day this will happen with my charge and I. It is very difficult when you have bonded with the child.

OP here--Nanny will not be far away and is attached to our daughter so I would expect visits. I also think we may use nanny on occasion when we want to go out on a Saturday night. Still trying to figure out how far in advance we should tell DD....do we do it the day before or do we do it now so she has a few weeks to get used to the idea? Or is that just going to confuse her?

Make sure the nanny says good bye to your little girl and see if you can have the nanny visit her a few times so she doesn't feel totally abandoned or think it is her fault the nanny is gone.

How far away is Nanny's new job?

We are transitioning to an au pair in June. Nanny has been with us since DD was 4 months old. She is now almost 3 1/2. Nanny has found a new position -- but will be with us until the day before our au pair arrives. We are parting on extremely amicable terms--and I'm sorry to have to part with nanny, but financially it just doesn't make sense for us anymore. We have not told DD about the change yet....any advice on when/what/how to tell DD? She is generally an easy going kid--but obviously, this will be a major change in her life since nanny has been with us for a long time. Also, any thoughts on nice ways to thank/honor nanny for being part of our family? Many thanks!