I totally agree with 23:36, I'm close to five years working with my current employers and I have the kids since they were infants, but still they cling to their parents as they come home. Don't you want that OP? They sometimes say NO to me when I arrive bec it means that the parents will leave and I don't take offends on that. The yelling? Idk, but that's not acceptable at all if it's really a "yell".

You've gotten good advice so far especially 05/06/2015 09:13. We were in almost exactly the same situation with a nanny who started out great and then decided to go back to school and got overwhelmed with too many things on her plate. She was with us for 3.5 years and I really couldn't imagine letting her go, even as things kept deteriorating and we had to keep adjusting our lives and schedules to accommodate her. I kept telling myself that we could make it work, but my relief when she finally decided to quit made me realize that we should have parted ways much sooner. We've had our new nanny for just over a month and I can't believe how much smoother life is for everyone.

It took us a few weeks to find a great fit for our new nanny and she was committed to a temporary job for month after that, so we had to juggle back-up care for longer than I had originally hoped but luckily we were able to make it work.

I just went through this OP. It is hard, but you need to do what is right for your child and your family. Here is my advice:
- line up your backup childcare so that you don't have a gap in coverage
- write the severance letter. It should be brief, factual, and address any severance, payout of vacation, return of household items (carseat, keys, etc...) necessary and effective date.
- have someone with you when you have the conversation
- have your child(ren) elsewhere so they're not hearing
- be brief, be factual, don't get drawn into emotions or debates
- be as generous as you are able (and see fit) with the severance - it will make it easier for her, and it will help you feel less badly if you know you are giving her a cushion of some sort.
- trust your instincts. Your first, and most important, responsibility is to your child - so you are upholding that by changing nannies in this circumstance.

Good luck.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This is so hard because I know so much about her personal life and don't wish her any ill will, but my daughter has started clinging to me when I come home and repeating "BYE-BYE!" until the nanny leaves. If she's yelling at her when we're in the house in the morning it makes me wonder what's happening when I'm gone. I thought about a nanny cam, but figured if I thought I needed a nanny cam that person shouldn't be looking after my child at all.

I don't know if she's overwhelmed or what. It sucks because it started off all Mary Poppins. We've approached her in the past about small issues and she's been very defensive. We pay her a competitive salary (most people think what we pay is too high), pay her standard hours even if something comes up, give her paid vacation and sick leave, pay her mileage and expenses.

I've never had to fire someone before, but it's my kid.

Our nanny was the one who asked that we get "nanny cams". And my son lights up when he sees her walk in the door and asks about "My Nan" during the weekend.

THAT is a good nanny! And yes, you deserve one.

Good luck, OP. It is never easy to let someone go.

Firing a nanny is unique since once you give her notice, it should be effective immediately.

Why? Well, if this nanny is snapping at your daughter, she obviously has not patience with her and does not tolerate much.

So if you give her her walking papers, she will be angry and perhaps retaliate. Or she may just be angry which in itself is a good reason to not let her alone with your child.

I wouldn't want a disgruntled employee alone with my kid.

So this Friday, after you pay her let her go. And hopefully you have someone else in place to watch your child until you can hire a new nanny.

Fire her, don't doubt yourself. Remember the killer nanny story?

I gave my nanny a written warning saying "A, B, and C are not acceptable, and we need to see you doing D, E, and F within two weeks. If we don't see those changes, we're going to have to let you go."

Then when the changes didn't happen we hired a new nanny and told the old one at the end of a day "We talked two weeks ago about some changes that needed to happen in order for us to keep working together. As you know, the changes didn't happen. So unfortunately, we can't continue to employ you. Here is your check through today, and here is your check for earned but unused vacation. May we have the house key back please?"

She had a stunned look on her face and asked "Oh wait, you were serious about that stuff?"

What are the "small issues" she's making into a big deal?

How long has she been with you?

Nanny here- I've been with my family 7 years and the kids cling to their parents when they come home... As they should, they are mom and dad!! I don't think that means anything because I know the kids love me. But yelling is not okay. Is it actual yelling? What is she saying? The 3yr old sometimes tells me to go home when his parents get home, I really don't think that means anything. Kids want to be with their parents, that's normal. Yelling is not. Is she really yelling or just being strict/stern? I'd get a nanny cam, because if you fire her the baby will cling to you with the new nanny as well. That's not a reason to fire someone.

OP here. This is so hard because I know so much about her personal life and don't wish her any ill will, but my daughter has started clinging to me when I come home and repeating "BYE-BYE!" until the nanny leaves. If she's yelling at her when we're in the house in the morning it makes me wonder what's happening when I'm gone. I thought about a nanny cam, but figured if I thought I needed a nanny cam that person shouldn't be looking after my child at all.

I don't know if she's overwhelmed or what. It sucks because it started off all Mary Poppins. We've approached her in the past about small issues and she's been very defensive. We pay her a competitive salary (most people think what we pay is too high), pay her standard hours even if something comes up, give her paid vacation and sick leave, pay her mileage and expenses.

I've never had to fire someone before, but it's my kid.

No need to give severance if she's not even doing her job and is mean to the kid.

Anonymous wrote:I think you're going to have to be prepared to let her go and let that day be her last day. If it were me, I'd pay her out severance, but given what you describe, I wouldn't have her continue watching my child.

+1 and I also agree you need to pay severance. Standard for severance with no notice is two weeks pay, but I think you'd be justified in giving only one week, if you want, because it is for cause. If you have a contract which specifies notice and severance when letting go for cause you need to follow that of course though.

I think you're going to have to be prepared to let her go and let that day be her last day. If it were me, I'd pay her out severance, but given what you describe, I wouldn't have her continue watching my child.

The issues with our current nanny seem to be piling up. We've been patient, flexible and understanding of the issues that have arisen (her own child care issues, illnesses and household emergencies) but over the last month or two there have been on-the-job issues. She's been snapping at our daughter (she hasn't before) and making small issues into big deals with us. We've never fired a nanny before, but we're not comfortable with how she's speaking to our daughter and to a lesser extent we're exhausted of the daily drama.

Has anyone ever had to fire a nanny? How did you do it? Why did you do it?