I have three kids of similar ages and they are all far, far better behaved with their nanny when I am NOT around. I am the fly in this particular "ointment". Get out of the way, OP, and let your nanny do her job.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Should a nanny be able to handle 4 year old, a 2 year old, and a 4 month old on her own? It has been 2 weeks and I find myself having to jump into situations or take care of the baby a large majority of the time (I am SAHM). Is it too much for one person or is she not the right person?

Why can't you do it? I know lots of parents with 3 kids dying to unload their burden on someone else. It's a HUGE job! Of course an extra pair of hands will always be useful. Stop complaining and be grateful you can afford to have help.

Excellent point made here. Practice a bit more empathy plz.

If OP hired someone to watch the kids then that person should be doing the job for which she was hired. Empathy is just silliness. Can the nanny do the job? Is OP getting in the way of the nanny doing the job or is she seeing incompetence?

Those are the issues.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Should a nanny be able to handle 4 year old, a 2 year old, and a 4 month old on her own? It has been 2 weeks and I find myself having to jump into situations or take care of the baby a large majority of the time (I am SAHM). Is it too much for one person or is she not the right person?

Why can't you do it? I know lots of parents with 3 kids dying to unload their burden on someone else. It's a HUGE job! Of course an extra pair of hands will always be useful. Stop complaining and be grateful you can afford to have help.

Excellent point made here. Practice a bit more empathy plz.

I see where people are coming from above. It may be that your nanny just needs some time on her own without you around to become comfortable with the kids. However, this isn't your husband or your mom or someone that you need to help be comfortable around your children. This is a professional that you are paying to take care of them.

Really, if you have been observing her for the last 2 weeks, and you don't think that she can take care of the kids on her own, and there is no pressing need for you to have childcare this very instant and therefore really need to make this work, then give her notice and find someone new. I am sure that there is someone out there who can confidently care for your children. You may just not have found her.

For the nanny, knowing you will always be close-by gives her a little leverage on how much assistance to ask for.

The dynamic would be totally different if she were home alone w/all three children on a daily basis.

But since you are also in the home, she most likely feels that she has every right to ask you for help if needed.

Working in a home where the parent is always present is a tough challenge for any nanny OP.

The children know the parent is close-by + thus they will always act differently than if left alone w/their caregiver.

I say let the nanny have her autonomy and try not to be around so much.

After all, isn't that what you are paying her for?? To care for the kids while you cannot?? Otherwise, I see no need for a nanny.

It maks a big difference whether she is asking you to step in or if you are doing it voluntarily because you see her struggling. What are you doing durig her time with the kids? Napping? Working out? I work right now for a SAHM with 2.5 yo twins and an infant. I can absolutely handle all three, but if the twins are having a double meltdown and baby needs to eat and mom is nearby flipping through a magazine, of COURSE I will ask if she minds finishing the feed so that I can handle toddlers more efficiently. If she wasn't around, I would have to set baby down mid-feed, which might mean a smaller feed overall which can throw off baby's routine, but I would do it and get back to baby as soon as I could. If mom is going to be around visibly lounging, then the best thing for the kids is to use her as a resource when I need another pair of hands for 30 seconds.

Leave her alone. Don't jump in.
Is she asking you to jump in?

Yes. She should. Find someone else.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She'll find her groove with the kids if you let her. If you're always home when she's working, then that will be very hard - the kids will want you and know that you're just lingering in the other room, ready to jump in if they escalate the situation.

Presumably you have some things you were hoping to get done while the nanny is on duty? Go out & do them. If some of what you wanted to do was around the house, coordinate with the nanny so that you can do them while she has the kids at the park or at story time.

+1

Another +1. Leave her alone and see how she does (and give her some time to work it out.)

Anonymous wrote:She'll find her groove with the kids if you let her. If you're always home when she's working, then that will be very hard - the kids will want you and know that you're just lingering in the other room, ready to jump in if they escalate the situation.

Presumably you have some things you were hoping to get done while the nanny is on duty? Go out & do them. If some of what you wanted to do was around the house, coordinate with the nanny so that you can do them while she has the kids at the park or at story time.

+1

Anonymous wrote:Should a nanny be able to handle 4 year old, a 2 year old, and a 4 month old on her own? It has been 2 weeks and I find myself having to jump into situations or take care of the baby a large majority of the time (I am SAHM). Is it too much for one person or is she not the right person?

Why can't you do it? I know lots of parents with 3 kids dying to unload their burden on someone else. It's a HUGE job! Of course an extra pair of hands will always be useful. Stop complaining and be grateful you can afford to have help.

If you're a sahm why aren't you helping anyways???

She'll find her groove with the kids if you let her. If you're always home when she's working, then that will be very hard - the kids will want you and know that you're just lingering in the other room, ready to jump in if they escalate the situation.

Presumably you have some things you were hoping to get done while the nanny is on duty? Go out & do them. If some of what you wanted to do was around the house, coordinate with the nanny so that you can do them while she has the kids at the park or at story time.

Yes. Are you sure you need to jump in? Would blood, broken bones or fire occur if you didn't?

Maybe you need to back off and let her figure out her groove.

Should a nanny be able to handle 4 year old, a 2 year old, and a 4 month old on her own? It has been 2 weeks and I find myself having to jump into situations or take care of the baby a large majority of the time (I am SAHM). Is it too much for one person or is she not the right person?