Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MB is a nice woman and a wonderful mother but she is a terrible MB. She is never direct and will hint at something she wants me to do so I have to guess/ask her. She works to the letter of our agreement with not even a small kindnesses shown (eg It isn't required of her to ask "How are you?" so she doesn't). She never give compliments or recognition and she never says "thank you" when I do her a favor (like come in early, work sick, stay late, work for free...) Can only assume she is happy with me as I got everything I asked for at my annual review and she said nothing when I asked what I could be doing differently or improve upon.

She is a supervisor of a small team in her job and she has lost every single one of them over the last year!

But I love my charge and I love being a nanny so I'm not going anywhere.

She is doing everything EXACTLY as requested by DCUM. The parroted response here is always never share any personal information about your life, what you did last night, what you plan to do tonight, vacation plans, etc. Come when you are supposed to and be in your car by the time your scheduled time ends, no chit chat.

Your MB sounds like DCUM nannies dream boss.

There is a vast difference between not being asked about your personal life and not being asked "How are you?". The absence in PP's case of hearing a simply "thank you" for when the nanny does the MB a favor speaks volumes about the MB. No one, in any line of work, would ever say that was a good thing.

And no one wants to play a guessing game with what their employers wants.

You are just being silly, PP.

Umm... hun, if you don't want to or plan to share any information about your life then why do you want to be asked? If I ask someone "How are you?" 25 days in a row and all they ever say is "Good." then I will stop asking. That is a response a child gives that we scold them to elaborate on, when an adult acts like a child I avoid them. Sounds like your MB is the same way.

And again in other professions MB sounds typical. If your boss at McDonalds switches your shift and asks you to come in early or work 4 extra hours I highly doubt he comes to you thanking you profusely. Your payment for those hours worked are thanks enough.

You can't have it both ways.

NP here and your post is total crap.

I have never once had a boss or supervisor who didn't say "thank you" when I went above and beyond in my career. Of course I would extend the same professionalism to our nanny. Management 101.

"How are you?" is common courtesy. Which clearly you do not have.

Like PP, I think you are being ridiculous and purposely obtuse.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MB is a nice woman and a wonderful mother but she is a terrible MB. She is never direct and will hint at something she wants me to do so I have to guess/ask her. She works to the letter of our agreement with not even a small kindnesses shown (eg It isn't required of her to ask "How are you?" so she doesn't). She never give compliments or recognition and she never says "thank you" when I do her a favor (like come in early, work sick, stay late, work for free...) Can only assume she is happy with me as I got everything I asked for at my annual review and she said nothing when I asked what I could be doing differently or improve upon.

She is a supervisor of a small team in her job and she has lost every single one of them over the last year!

But I love my charge and I love being a nanny so I'm not going anywhere.

She is doing everything EXACTLY as requested by DCUM. The parroted response here is always never share any personal information about your life, what you did last night, what you plan to do tonight, vacation plans, etc. Come when you are supposed to and be in your car by the time your scheduled time ends, no chit chat.

Your MB sounds like DCUM nannies dream boss.

There is a vast difference between not being asked about your personal life and not being asked "How are you?". The absence in PP's case of hearing a simply "thank you" for when the nanny does the MB a favor speaks volumes about the MB. No one, in any line of work, would ever say that was a good thing.

And no one wants to play a guessing game with what their employers wants.

You are just being silly, PP.

Umm... hun, if you don't want to or plan to share any information about your life then why do you want to be asked? If I ask someone "How are you?" 25 days in a row and all they ever say is "Good." then I will stop asking. That is a response a child gives that we scold them to elaborate on, when an adult acts like a child I avoid them. Sounds like your MB is the same way.

And again in other professions MB sounds typical. If your boss at McDonalds switches your shift and asks you to come in early or work 4 extra hours I highly doubt he comes to you thanking you profusely. Your payment for those hours worked are thanks enough.

You can't have it both ways.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MB is a nice woman and a wonderful mother but she is a terrible MB. She is never direct and will hint at something she wants me to do so I have to guess/ask her. She works to the letter of our agreement with not even a small kindnesses shown (eg It isn't required of her to ask "How are you?" so she doesn't). She never give compliments or recognition and she never says "thank you" when I do her a favor (like come in early, work sick, stay late, work for free...) Can only assume she is happy with me as I got everything I asked for at my annual review and she said nothing when I asked what I could be doing differently or improve upon.

She is a supervisor of a small team in her job and she has lost every single one of them over the last year!

But I love my charge and I love being a nanny so I'm not going anywhere.

She is doing everything EXACTLY as requested by DCUM. The parroted response here is always never share any personal information about your life, what you did last night, what you plan to do tonight, vacation plans, etc. Come when you are supposed to and be in your car by the time your scheduled time ends, no chit chat.

Your MB sounds like DCUM nannies dream boss.

There is a vast difference between not being asked about your personal life and not being asked "How are you?". The absence in PP's case of hearing a simply "thank you" for when the nanny does the MB a favor speaks volumes about the MB. No one, in any line of work, would ever say that was a good thing.

And no one wants to play a guessing game with what their employers wants.

You are just being silly, PP.

Anonymous wrote:My MB is a nice woman and a wonderful mother but she is a terrible MB. She is never direct and will hint at something she wants me to do so I have to guess/ask her. She works to the letter of our agreement with not even a small kindnesses shown (eg It isn't required of her to ask "How are you?" so she doesn't). She never give compliments or recognition and she never says "thank you" when I do her a favor (like come in early, work sick, stay late, work for free...) Can only assume she is happy with me as I got everything I asked for at my annual review and she said nothing when I asked what I could be doing differently or improve upon.

She is a supervisor of a small team in her job and she has lost every single one of them over the last year!

But I love my charge and I love being a nanny so I'm not going anywhere.

She is doing everything EXACTLY as requested by DCUM. The parroted response here is always never share any personal information about your life, what you did last night, what you plan to do tonight, vacation plans, etc. Come when you are supposed to and be in your car by the time your scheduled time ends, no chit chat.

Your MB sounds like DCUM nannies dream boss.

I would say yes. I doubt any MB would actually think that she is bad at being an MB -- she would just blame the nanny for any miscommunication or failure to meet expectation.

Anonymous wrote:1.I keep things professional. Lines are never crossed.
2. I provide a clean and safe working environment.
3. Employee is always paid the right amount,on time.

While important, I think those are the BARE MINIMUM.

1.I keep things professional. Lines are never crossed.
2. I provide a clean and safe working environment.
3. Employee is always paid the right amount,on time.

Anonymous wrote:Not everyone is cut out to manage people. And having a nanny working for you does require the management of one employee.

If you think you are good at being a "Mom Boss", why do you think that?

As a MB and a corporate employee I am WELL aware that many people are not cut out to manage people I cringe at the thought of some people I work with managing a household employee. It is a delicate balance between having a personal and professional relationship.

DO I think I'm a good people manager? Yes, I do. I manage a team of 9 people that has grown in the last 6 years from being one person to 9. I've never had someone quit. I understand that when you ask a lot of someone and expect an excellent work output, you have to give something as well. I'm certainly not perfect. I'm very direct which can make people very anxious and I work on being softer in my approach. I also am not great at explaining things and like people who can figure stuff out on their own and sometimes people like a lot of direction. I also am scattered and disorganized which annoy everyone around me,

I think the better nanny employers recognize that a certain level of partnership is essential to the relationship, and they don't feel threatened by that reality. Those that fight a partnership relationship are failing their own child.

10:15 again - also, communication! Just like in any other job, how can you give your boss what you want if she won't tell you? How can an employer/MB be satisfied if you're not willing to convey your most basic requests? I see a lot of posts along these lines - MB is frustrated because nanny isn't doing XYZ. Well, what did she say when you asked her to do XYZ?

I think most bad bosses, whether they're managing a nanny or an entire office of staff, don't spend much time thinking about how to manage. They have a task in front of them and think about how to get it done. They don't take the time to think through what it's like to be on the receiving end of their requests/orders and whether it will be a fulfilling portfolio overall for the other person.

Managing people doesn't come naturally to most. It requires thought, effort, time, and mental bandwidth. A lot of people employing nannies have very busy work schedules, a full family life, and don't dedicate much, if any, of their remaining mental bandwidth to thinking about whether they're being a good boss to their nanny. In fact, people hire a nanny so that they have less to think about - they come home and so many things are already taken care of, vs coming home from daycare and needing to read the forms from the day, unpack the bags, then re-pack them for the next day, write any notes to the staff for the next day.

It's sad, but very human. I'm an employer and I do spend a lot of time thinking about what would make for an enjoyable nanny experience. I read a lot of threads here and get a sense of the common annoyances and try to avoid imposing those on my nanny. I reflect on what my favorite nanny growing up didn't like about working for my parents. I do some market research and try to make sure what I'm offering is on par with what other families are offering, to the extent that we can afford to. I say thank you. When I have requests for something to be done differently, I start with thanking her for all that I do appreciate, and I close with saying how happy with are with her, so that it's clear this is just one small tweak we're requesting, not an end-all be-all issue that defines our relationship with her.

It's not perfect, I know, but I try to not suck.

Anonymous wrote:I think good bosses know they aren't perfect. I've posted on here many times and have always been told that I'm a good boss based on my responses. And I do think I'm a good boss, but I'm not tone deaf to the idea that there are certainly areas I need to improve on. Thankfully I must be doing something right as DCs nanny has been with us for several years

I agree with this.

I work at being a good employer, I treat our nanny as I would want to be treated, I ensure that she is treated w/ respect by the whole family (including extended family). I thank her almost daily, I treat her to small things (favorite coffee, flowers) occasionally and give annual bonuses and raises. I make sure she arrives to a tidy workspace in the morning and I never ask her to do things outside the scope of her job. I am as direct as possible in what I ask, or what I correct. I assume honesty and integrity and best intentions (and have not been proven wrong). I pay competitive marketplace rates and pay attention to parenting listservs and other sources so I can try to ensure we remain competitive.

I care about her as a person and that is reflected in the present we give her, the flexibility in time off, the conversations about how her family is doing, the help we have provided in selecting medical insurance and managing some personal things along those lines, etc...

And I am sure I'm not perfect. But I try hard. We have retained one nanny for the duration of our kids' lives, and managed intertim nannies during periods of vacation or medical absence without any negative feedback.

My MB is a nice woman and a wonderful mother but she is a terrible MB. She is never direct and will hint at something she wants me to do so I have to guess/ask her. She works to the letter of our agreement with not even a small kindnesses shown (eg It isn't required of her to ask "How are you?" so she doesn't). She never give compliments or recognition and she never says "thank you" when I do her a favor (like come in early, work sick, stay late, work for free...) Can only assume she is happy with me as I got everything I asked for at my annual review and she said nothing when I asked what I could be doing differently or improve upon.

She is a supervisor of a small team in her job and she has lost every single one of them over the last year!

But I love my charge and I love being a nanny so I'm not going anywhere.

I think good bosses know they aren't perfect. I've posted on here many times and have always been told that I'm a good boss based on my responses. And I do think I'm a good boss, but I'm not tone deaf to the idea that there are certainly areas I need to improve on. Thankfully I must be doing something right as DCs nanny has been with us for several years

Not everyone is cut out to manage people. And having a nanny working for you does require the management of one employee.

If you think you are good at being a "Mom Boss", why do you think that?