Mother of twins here who can't quite fathom two sets of twins under 3. Dear God.

That would be a pretty thoroughly exhausting job and I can understand the burnout challenge. If I were your MB I would want to work with you on ways to make the job as manageable as possible (assuming I'm generally happy with your performance of course).

Flexing our schedules wouldn't work in my house, so a lot depends on the parents - not just on their work flexibility but also their stamina and capabilities. My husband, for instance, simply isn't as much of a rockstar with infants. So leaving him w/ all the kids for regular periods of time can create stress that isn't necessary.

But I would be very open to ideas like part-time preschool for the older twins, hiring a mother's helper type to come in for a few hours either to cover when you might not be there, or to support you when you are, etc...

With two sets of twins I imagine these parents would try to keep a proven, solid, nanny. It would be pretty nightmarish to have to do a new nanny search. So hopefully they will want to work with you.

I would say though, that if you really think you are simply exhausted by the job, and would prefer to find something different, then just bite the bullet and do that. Don't ask them to reconfigure their lives to accommodate you if what you really need is a different position. There's no shame in that - this must be a very difficult job - but be honest up front if that is what might be going on with you.

I'm going off to remind myself of a scenario where one set of twins seems like a breeze to someone else!

Anonymous wrote:Another MB here who has staggered her work schedule w/ DB so we only have our nanny work 40 hrs a week. It's totally a reasonable request. Our nanny typically works 40 to 42 hrs a week for us the majority of the year.

The weeks where we have had our nanny work OT for us (e.g., DH's business trip) we could see how tiring it can be for our nanny to work 10 hrs or more that day.

Yup. We stagger our work schedule so our AP only works 36hrs a week. However we do have a TON of flexibility and are capable adults and don't need an assistant to wipe our asses.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MB here, and unless you are a super-star nanny, this will likely be the death blow to this relationship. If they thought they needed fewer hours they would have hired you for fewer hours to begin with (why volunteer to pay more?). DB may work from home but that doesn't mean that he is interested in caring for DCs during that time (even if feasible).

My advice is only to ask if you are ready to move on if it's not possible.

You're a real bitch.

Really? Not the pp, but she wrote this before we all learned that the OP was taking care of 4 kids under 3 years old. If this was a typical family, I do think that it is pretty likely the MB would hire someone else who could just work all hours needed rather than accommodate this nanny's schedule, (unless she is a super-star nanny).

Anonymous wrote:MB here, and unless you are a super-star nanny, this will likely be the death blow to this relationship. If they thought they needed fewer hours they would have hired you for fewer hours to begin with (why volunteer to pay more?). DB may work from home but that doesn't mean that he is interested in caring for DCs during that time (even if feasible).

My advice is only to ask if you are ready to move on if it's not possible.

You're a real bitch.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here-

Thanks for the input I can definitely see both sides. I am not unwilling to work long hours when either is traveling. I just don't find it sustainable in the long term to work 50+ every week. However I know that it's a personal choice so I am preparing myself to be let go. I want to approach it as giving my best to the kids and how I want to come refreshed every morning. I feel like I provide great care now but that it's at the expense of my own care.

Just as an added note they have 4 kids 2 sets of twins. Babies are 6mo and older ones are 2.5

Maybe suggest working four days a week and helping them find someone for Mondays or Fridays. That'll lower the overtime they have to pay you, plus give you a three-day weekend, all while they maintain the same amount of coverage.

I agree that this sounds like a good plan. My other thought would be to put the 2.5 y/o twins in daycare/preschool part of the time to give you a little bit of a break and to give them a chance to do some things that you won't be able to do when you have the babies with you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here-

Thanks for the input I can definitely see both sides. I am not unwilling to work long hours when either is traveling. I just don't find it sustainable in the long term to work 50+ every week. However I know that it's a personal choice so I am preparing myself to be let go. I want to approach it as giving my best to the kids and how I want to come refreshed every morning. I feel like I provide great care now but that it's at the expense of my own care.

Just as an added note they have 4 kids 2 sets of twins. Babies are 6mo and older ones are 2.5

Maybe suggest working four days a week and helping them find someone for Mondays or Fridays. That'll lower the overtime they have to pay you, plus give you a three-day weekend, all while they maintain the same amount of coverage.

But she can't handle the daily work, so doing it 4 instead of 5 days still doesn't help.

Anonymous wrote:OP here-

Thanks for the input I can definitely see both sides. I am not unwilling to work long hours when either is traveling. I just don't find it sustainable in the long term to work 50+ every week. However I know that it's a personal choice so I am preparing myself to be let go. I want to approach it as giving my best to the kids and how I want to come refreshed every morning. I feel like I provide great care now but that it's at the expense of my own care.

Just as an added note they have 4 kids 2 sets of twins. Babies are 6mo and older ones are 2.5

OMG, you're super nanny to do that job. Good thing they're paying well.

Anonymous wrote:OP here-

Thanks for the input I can definitely see both sides. I am not unwilling to work long hours when either is traveling. I just don't find it sustainable in the long term to work 50+ every week. However I know that it's a personal choice so I am preparing myself to be let go. I want to approach it as giving my best to the kids and how I want to come refreshed every morning. I feel like I provide great care now but that it's at the expense of my own care.

Just as an added note they have 4 kids 2 sets of twins. Babies are 6mo and older ones are 2.5

Maybe suggest working four days a week and helping them find someone for Mondays or Fridays. That'll lower the overtime they have to pay you, plus give you a three-day weekend, all while they maintain the same amount of coverage.

OP here-

Thanks for the input I can definitely see both sides. I am not unwilling to work long hours when either is traveling. I just don't find it sustainable in the long term to work 50+ every week. However I know that it's a personal choice so I am preparing myself to be let go. I want to approach it as giving my best to the kids and how I want to come refreshed every morning. I feel like I provide great care now but that it's at the expense of my own care.

Just as an added note they have 4 kids 2 sets of twins. Babies are 6mo and older ones are 2.5

Another MB here who has staggered her work schedule w/ DB so we only have our nanny work 40 hrs a week. It's totally a reasonable request. Our nanny typically works 40 to 42 hrs a week for us the majority of the year.

The weeks where we have had our nanny work OT for us (e.g., DH's business trip) we could see how tiring it can be for our nanny to work 10 hrs or more that day.

MB here, and unless you are a super-star nanny, this will likely be the death blow to this relationship. If they thought they needed fewer hours they would have hired you for fewer hours to begin with (why volunteer to pay more?). DB may work from home but that doesn't mean that he is interested in caring for DCs during that time (even if feasible).

My advice is only to ask if you are ready to move on if it's not possible.

OP here-

I guess I feel like its possible since

1) DB works from home and has a semi flex schedule

2)MB only works 40/45 hours a week(out of the house)


They enjoy the convenience of having a nanny do everything. They pay well, and honestly I don't mind doing it. I just feel like I can get all of the 'extras' done in less hours, and that 50+ is going to burn me out eventually.

You can ask if like you stated, you have a plan on how it can be configured.

If I were your nanny family, I wouldn't want a tired or burned out nanny so I would try my best to work with you regarding limiting your hours if it was feasible on my end as well.

Compromise and open communication are vital for ALL types of relationships.

Good luck to you OP!~

oh yea sure, then MB can go ask her boss to take off 10 hours a week because the nanny is tired.

why not just be a grown up and tell her you can't handle it and you would like to find a new job with less hours but you are willing to stay on for up to 6 weeks or until they find someone new. no pressure.

Can I ask for reduced hours without sounding like a pain in the a#$? I am Currently working 50-55hours a week. I like the family I know they are super happy with me as we just had a review. I would like to work 40-45 hours a week instead. My question is can I ask? How should I ask? Should I propose a solution to how it could be configured? TIA