Geez....It sounds to me like a scene directly from the movie, "The Help."

Sounds like they are treating her like a servant.

How dare she go into their kitchen since she is the hired help.

Anonymous wrote:There are no rules, if the nanny agreed to it and is happy who cares.

That's exactly what an abuser would say. Shame on you.

This is not ideal and I don't agree with it at all. However the nanny is an adult and agreed to the job and isn't being held hostage. If she accepted the position she must be fine. There are people that live on their own with much less. I couldn't imagine being a live in even if I had a completely differect house from my family on the same property. More power to those that do it.

Op is the nanny here from another country? It's a ppossibiliy they could be taking advantage of her

I had a family like this. It was incredibly depressing and demeaning. I was young and just wasnt sure of myself enough to speak up. They fired me because they had a second child with a minor disability and didnt think I could properly care for him. I also caught her in my room reading my journal. I was stunned and she just walked out the room. Overall bad character. Doane

Where did she wash dishes a or is she expected to eat only nasty processed foods? I wouldn't consider that without a sink. A kitchen sink. And yes by law they are required to furnish a full kitchen if they're doing a rent exchange. Access to a kitchen is the law for renting a living space.

Anonymous wrote:She won't go hungry, PP. She does have a mini fridge and a microwave. My first apartment had just that and I got along fine.

That said, I wouldn't want live in position under the described conditions. Sounds confining. I think parents who want a live in need to think more carefully about having another person live with them because it is unreasonable not to allow access to the common areas of the house, especially if the nanny is effectively paying rent as live ins are usually paid less per hour .

The space does not bother me. I could do just fine. What would bother me more is the spirit of the arrangement. I have a live in and realize that I give up some of my privacy and fold someone new into the fabric of the family. If you are not willing to do that then IMO a live in is not for you.

With that said, I'm from South Africa and had live ins...cook and nanny. They are referred to as domestic and are treated like how the OP describes and this is culturally acceptable to both parties. Because poor is God awful in SA living in safe, sanitary, and comfortable conditions is treasured. However, this arrangement in the US is not culturally necessary and is in poor character.

She won't go hungry, PP. She does have a mini fridge and a microwave. My first apartment had just that and I got along fine.

That said, I wouldn't want live in position under the described conditions. Sounds confining. I think parents who want a live in need to think more carefully about having another person live with them because it is unreasonable not to allow access to the common areas of the house, especially if the nanny is effectively paying rent as live ins are usually paid less per hour .

That is very strange. I would not feel good offering that arrangement to some one caring for my children. If you have an in-law suite type thing in your home with a full kitchen, then sure - both the nanny and her employing family will want some time apart when not working and to maintain some sense of boundaries. But if all you're offering is a room, then it just seems unreasonable to ask the nanny to not have access to the living room, kitchen, laundry facilities - is she supposed to just be invisible and go hungry on evenings & weekends? Yes, that is weird OP.

There are no rules, if the nanny agreed to it and is happy who cares.

I met a live-in nanny and as she was telling me about her situation I found it odd. I've never been a live-in (bless all of you who are) so I wanted to get other opinions.

She has separate quarters with a bathroom and bedroom, she also has a mini fridge and microwave in a little nook area. It's within the house, but near a rear door.

Apparently she can only enter the rest of the house during her working hours. She has a key to get in and out of that door, but can't go through the rest of the house to go through front door.

I find this odd. Aren't employers suppose to supply live-ins with a kitchen area?