Anonymous wrote:That's tragic. I'm a SAHM and was just browsing around the different forums. Can the mom do anything like paint, play with playdough, write, or draw? It almost seems like her doing the same activities with the kids would help give her something to do and share with what the children are doing. Is she ever out of the wheelchair? It seems like if she could be on the same level as the kids playing on the floor it might help as just something else to try for variety, if she's able to, since she can't hold her kids. 4 year old boys usually don't listen to their mothers anyway, if that is any consolation. It sounds like a very hard job, and it sounds like you're doing the best you can.

She likes to paint, but it's hard for her to hold the brush. Right now her OT has her finger paint, and that's something her and her son both enjoy. She will get frustrated when he does really well and she can't keep up. Sometimes it's like watching her go in and out of the mindset of a very sick mother and a child. She doesn't have the muscle control to be able to write or draw yet, she literally has to relearn her pincer grasp.

She has to be lifted out of the wheelchair, she can help but doesn't have great balance. She is often on the floor but has to have some support. She get's dizzy very easily.

Anonymous wrote:Occupational therapy would be helpful in this situation as well. They would be able to come in and assess ways in which the mother could have more involvement in her children's daily lives.

OT/PT come five days a week, and speech three days a week. She probably wouldn't even be home if not for all the effort DB put into getting her the best help.

Anonymous wrote:If she's cognitively like a 6 yr old then couldn't you guys do a lot of the same crafts, games, songs, stories etc together?

Part of her OT/PT involves doing a lot crafts and games a preschooler would play. She doesn't have great control over her hands so often you have to really really help her hold a card or roll the dice. The OT said she may be able to regain more control as time goes on, because it's not muscle weakness but the "circuits" cutting in and out...like someone with Parkinsons would...however she doesn't shake that much. Just when one body party is really focusing. She also gets EXTREMELY frustrated very easily, DB said sometimes he thinks tiny glimpses of her old self come through and she realizes who she is and get's upset. We all try to work together, but I don't know how to compromise making sure MB get's what she needs and not overwhelming the four-year-old.

VERY kind Nanny God bless .Please try your best for the children to be around there mum let them spent time with her. They can create some fun things to do together have fun.keep up the good work.

Anonymous wrote:Occupational therapy would be helpful in this situation as well. They would be able to come in and assess ways in which the mother could have more involvement in her children's daily lives.

Yes! is there an OT involved that could be a great resource for you OP as well as any advice from the kids therapists.

The only other thing I can think of if it's possible is music. Music is one of those universal languages that translates between any age or ability.

That's tragic. I'm a SAHM and was just browsing around the different forums. Can the mom do anything like paint, play with playdough, write, or draw? It almost seems like her doing the same activities with the kids would help give her something to do and share with what the children are doing. Is she ever out of the wheelchair? It seems like if she could be on the same level as the kids playing on the floor it might help as just something else to try for variety, if she's able to, since she can't hold her kids. 4 year old boys usually don't listen to their mothers anyway, if that is any consolation. It sounds like a very hard job, and it sounds like you're doing the best you can.

If she's cognitively like a 6 yr old then couldn't you guys do a lot of the same crafts, games, songs, stories etc together?

That poor woman. You are in a very tough situation, OP, Give the kids as much love and nurturing as you can and help them to accept and love their mother.

Occupational therapy would be helpful in this situation as well. They would be able to come in and assess ways in which the mother could have more involvement in her children's daily lives.

I think you should talk to the physical therapist for things you can do to involve the mother with her kids. Even if you read to the kids with the mom in the room that would probably be helpful.

Anonymous wrote:Bless you. So how many people are providing childcare?

There are three of us nannies, but just myself and the night nanny work full time. The night nanny has been with the family for almost a year, she use to work in the day but needed a change. She and the third nanny are very helpful. The part-time nanny cared for the boy right after MB stroke. She is younger and only works a couple hours in the evening take him to different activities and some weekends. Both sets of grandparents and some aunts, uncles, cousins all also help a lot.

Plus MB has a team of nurses in and out, it's mostly the same two. Also her therapist and the toddlers therapist. Constantly people going in and out.

Heartbreaking for that whole family. OP, know that you are probably an amazing support for all of them and that you are helping everyone get through life as it now is for them. My heart breaks.

This is heartbreaking. That poor woman and her family.
I think the only thing you can really do is allow her to interact as much as possible. Have the children around her often. Organize ges and activities the children can do with MB. Have them do craft and art projects to give as gifts to their Mom. Encourage the children to speak to her.
Inject as much humor, lightness and laughter into their day as possible. You sound like a good nanny OP.

Bless you. So how many people are providing childcare?

I'm several weeks in to a new position, and the dynamics are very new to me. MB had a benign tumor she wasn't aware of until 7 months into her pregnancy when she had a massive stroke. Her baby was delivered early and had some severe complications. They thought she would die, and was in a coma for months. LO is now 14-months-old and well enough to no longer need to be cared for by a pediatric home nurse. I was hired to care for the 14-month-old and an older brother (4).

MB is left very disabled. She is wheelchair bound and cognitively like a six-year-old. She can talk, but it's hard for me to always understand her because she has speech issues. DB told me they doubt she will regress anymore, but also aren't hopeful she can make much more progress. It's the saddest thing I've ever seen. She forgets that the toddler is her daughter and when she does remember she wants to help but she physically can't. The 4-year-old is withdrawn from her, and often actually ignores her when she tries to talk to him. She has been home since before Christmas but obviously it's been a big change. It's like the tumor robbed her of everything but her life. She has a PhD and was very successful in her career, is a published author (for like textbooks and research.). I see pictures of what she use to look like and it's devastating. I can't even imagine how hard it has been for DB who is amazing.

It's just sad, I hold back tears everyday. She wants so badly to do things, but is fully dependent on her nurse. She can't even hold them without help. It's always a fine line of doing my job and being sensitive to her wants. The nurse and I just don't know what to do half the time, they Re her kids but she just can't do it.