9:58 again - it always does surprise me though that some one who professionally works with babies wouldn't already know that perfume is not appropriate on the job. It's covered in Baby Care 101 classes at hospitals. Hospital staff & pediatricians are very consistent in instructing parents to use dye & perfume free detergent. A lot of babies refuse to be held by over-perfumed folks - my FIL couldn't get near my daughter because of his layers of smell.

It's just so obvious, clear, and consistent across the board. It really makes me question some one's sense of judgment when they apply so much perfume that they end up covering their charges in it. Is that what they consider an acceptable standard of care? That your baby would be returned to you wearing perfume?

I had to deal with this at one point as well and it's not an easy conversation to have. I think the key here though is that your baby is effectively wearing perfume at the end of the day. Focus on that and only that. Whether you have any say in whether your employee wears perfume on the job (which a lot of work places do ban btw) is debatable and likely to cause offense, even if you say it as nicely as possible and blame it on a family history of allergies.

What's not debatable is that you have say over whether your baby wears perfume. So, I would start with simply letting the nanny know that the baby has been smelling of perfume lately - assume that she doesn't know and assume that she'd want to remedy it if she did know. If simply alerting the nanny to the fact doesn't resolve it, then get more specific in your ask - since the perfume is rubbing off on the baby, please wait until your work shift is over to wear perfume.

Anonymous wrote:If your nanny is a great nanny in all other respects, I would let this issue go.

And I say this only because in principle, if you mention it....It will not bode well. While she may be polite and abide by your wishes, it may also set the bar that you will be one of those nit picking/micro-managing type bosses and she will most likely have her guard up around you and this may be a potential red flag.

Do you want to take this risk? Again, if she is an awesome nanny, I wouldn't want to risk losing her.

If her nanny is an awesome nanny, she will understand the desire of a mother for her baby to smell like her baby at the end of the day, and not another woman.

I am a nanny and I would not be offended if my employers asked me not to wear perfume to work. Just talk to her, OP.

If your nanny is a great nanny in all other respects, I would let this issue go.

And I say this only because in principle, if you mention it....It will not bode well. While she may be polite and abide by your wishes, it may also set the bar that you will be one of those nit picking/micro-managing type bosses and she will most likely have her guard up around you and this may be a potential red flag.

Do you want to take this risk? Again, if she is an awesome nanny, I wouldn't want to risk losing her.

Or not at all.

Anonymous wrote:OP again - this is very helpful, thanks. Part of why I'm hesitating is because we don't know each other well yet, so I don't want to have a misunderstanding or get off on a bad foot. Does anyone have any suggestions for specific language I could use it with her? I don't want to offend or embarrass her by suggesting her perfume is too strong. How would you want someone to say this?

"Julie, do you have a second before you go home? I just wanted to let you know we think everything is going wonderfully, and we're so pleased with how the kids are responding to you. One thing though - although I love the scent of your perfume, I've noticed it lingers on Larla after you've left at the end of the day, and that bothers Bob and me. Would you mind applying it more lightly?"

OP again - this is very helpful, thanks. Part of why I'm hesitating is because we don't know each other well yet, so I don't want to have a misunderstanding or get off on a bad foot. Does anyone have any suggestions for specific language I could use it with her? I don't want to offend or embarrass her by suggesting her perfume is too strong. How would you want someone to say this?

I would not mind you asking me that at all. Personally, I would prefer you just be honest about your reasoning with me versus making something up, but I am a very forward and not easily offended. If she is coming from a different activity and she loads up in the morning, it may be a slightly more difficult issue. Just talk to her.

I agree with what's been posted. If you explain yourself like you have here I would understand and change. I would rather you tell me than have it be something that you keep to your self and it eats you up and makes you resent me.

And truthfully if her smell stays on baby even after a bath she needs to tone it down.

On the plus side it means your baby is getting lots of snuggles during the day =)

I'm usually one who thinks its stepping over the line to try to dictate these things. That being said, you sound very reasonable, and if I were your nanny and you explained this to me like you have here I would definitely understand. Who doesn't love the smell of babies? If that was important to you, I'd have no problem adjusting.

I'm an RN and they are strict where I work about wearing perfume and scented lotions. My friend is a pediatric RN and her department is even strict about scented shampoos because of children's allergies. I would not phrase it as "the baby smells like your perfume and I don't like it" rather "I would prefer if you didn't wear perfume to work because I've noticed some kids are bothered by scented things and I'd rather you not wear any" just make sure you don't say this while you've got a cloud of perfume following you!

OP here - thanks. Not trying to start an argument or set myself up to get flamed for being some sort of nut. I generally don't care what nannies where or don't wear, since it is a totally personal choice. Our last nanny of several years who we loved very much frequently wore really inappropriate and overly sexy clothes to work (think midriff shirts and super tight short shorts). Although it's not my taste, I never said anything because I feel like that's a personal choice and my kids are too young to notice anyway. I wouldn't normally say anything about the perfume either since its a nice scent, it's just so strong on the baby. I was actually thinking of trying to blame it on allergies, but I wondered if it might be strange since we're a month in already and we have other scented candles and things around the house so clearly were not anti-fragrance.

This topic is most likely going to end up in an argument on here. It always does.
Some people, MBs and nannies, think it isnt a big deal to ask nanny to not wear perfume. those who suffer from allergies are especially understanding.

Others think it's crazy and way over the line to ask.

Our nanny takes care of our preschooler and baby part time during the week. We've only been working together about a month or so and I noticed that she wears perfume which I don't mind since it's a nice scent. What has started to bother me is that baby DD always smells strongly of perfume and even after her bath I can't get rid of the smell. My favorite thing in the world is the sweet smell of baby, and I don't want it covered up with perfume. Is there any possible way I can kindly bring this up with our nanny without seeming either crazy or super controlling?