Just be honest and let her know the children do miss her a lot and are having their own issues adjusting to her absence, but make sure you end your updates on a positive tone always.

In this case, let her know that they are adjusting better every day and that she shouldn't worry too much because they are handling it very well.

Anonymous wrote:Truth. Everything is fine and under control and the kids miss you. Keep sending lots of pictures and updates. She probably wants to be missed.

Pretty much this Everything is under control, kids miss you, talk about activities and updates. Do Skype sessions at a time that works for the kids.

If there are specific issues wait until she is back and work together for a solution.

Truth. Everything is fine and under control and the kids miss you. Keep sending lots of pictures and updates. She probably wants to be missed.

I get where OP is coming from. I have worked for MBs who would respond to the news that the kids really missed them by making time for one-on-one bonding after their return, but I have worked for a few that would respond by demanding that they be included via skype in the entire bedtime routine (yes, really) or by asking me to work extra hours so that MOM could apend the following week in extra therapy sessions so that SHE could deal with the guilt. Sigh.

Don't lie and say everyone is fine, but it is fine to be positive and reassuring. And I agree that bedtime is the WORST time for mom or dad to check in.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never lie. My job is not to make MB comfortable but to give her all the information she needs about her children. I would be reassuring - yes. But never, ever lie to her and tell her the kids are fine if they aren't.

I would also help to come up with a few solutions on how to make this new transition easier for my charges.

+1 As an MB, this is what I would appreciate and want too. You are my children's nanny, OP, not my nanny. Help make my children feel better about my new job/travel schedule and don't worry about me.

Excellent point. Your job, OP, is to make this situation better for your charges not your employer. You should be posting asking how to solve the problems of making the kids more comfortable and happy about their mother being away more.

Anonymous wrote:I would never lie. My job is not to make MB comfortable but to give her all the information she needs about her children. I would be reassuring - yes. But never, ever lie to her and tell her the kids are fine if they aren't.

I would also help to come up with a few solutions on how to make this new transition easier for my charges.

+1 As an MB, this is what I would appreciate and want too. You are my children's nanny, OP, not my nanny. Help make my children feel better about my new job/travel schedule and don't worry about me.

I would never lie. My job is not to make MB comfortable but to give her all the information she needs about her children. I would be reassuring - yes. But never, ever lie to her and tell her the kids are fine if they aren't.

I would also help to come up with a few solutions on how to make this new transition easier for my charges.

tell her the truth. It's important that mom handles this well when she gets home. If she thinks that everything was fine with the kids, when really they were having a tough time, she isn't going to do what she needs to do to help the kiddos recover when it's over, and she can make informed decisions in the future. Would you lie to her about whether or not her child was physically ill, had a fever, broke a bone? After all, there is nothing she can do.

Now, I'm wondering if my nanny lied to me about how my kids did when I went to my sister's wedding. That would explain some school issues that happened a few days later.

I always found that phone conversations at night were the worst time for the children. I'd suggest mornings...

"Hi Miranda! We just finished doing some art - the girls made some great paintings for you - and are about to bake muffins. We'll save a couple for your return. We can't wait to see you Monday!"

Just tell her what's happening with the kids.
"Jack and I made cookies and he said the cutest thing...Blah blah blah!!. Larla has had so much fun playing with her new doll today! The kids have had a great day, but definitely miss you! They are colouring pictures to give you when you get home." Tell her about what they've been doing, be sure to send her lots of pictures and make it clear that they ask about her often. Everyone will adjust.
Don't hide anything from her though. If they don't seem to adjust to the new schedule, tell her.

I've been with my nanny family for 2 years and the mom has a new job that requires travel. She keeps asking for updates and I don't know what to tell her. The kids miss her and have been having a rough time adjusting. I know she already feels guilty about being gone and I don't want to make it worse by telling her what's going on. There's nothing she can do but the kids are starting to adjust. Should I just lie and say everything is fine or do I tell her the truth? I've been sending her pictures of the kids and they talk to her on the phone nightly. Can anyone else advise me on what to say?