My wisdom teeth were an emergency situation. I didn't know they were impacted until they were growing into the roots of the teeth beside them. I had them out on a Thursday and planned on going back on Tuesday, but ended up having complications. Sometimes stuff happens that people can't plan for

MB here. I think you need to listen to your gut about whether you think this nanny will be a long term fit for your family. Has she been great in the weeks she's been with you? How were her references? Do you have any other concerns or hesitation about her, other than the time off she's requesting?

The fact that she wants to take unpaid leave, and is trying to work around your schedule, speak well of her IMO. But I also think planning on 3 days of work leave might be unnecessary.

If you like her and hope she will work out long-term, then I would probably give her what she is asking for and see how things work out over the next few months.

Alternatively, maybe you could ask her to schedule the surgery for Thursday, give her the friday off (paid or not) and then plan to check in on over the weekend to see how she's doing. If she has an easy recovery then she comes to work on Monday. If she's in serious pain or significantly swollen on Sunday then she takes Monday off also.

Overall I think it's a bit of a grey area and you really need to trust your instincts. Also, I'm generally of the mindset of taking the long-view in terms of the overall relationship. If you think there is a reasonable chance of this person being with your family for a couple of years and this early medical stuff is an anomaly, then some graciousness and generosity now will pay huge dividends in the long run.

Hope it works out!

Anonymous wrote:Yes we have a backup. She does not want to take paid leave since this was unexpected. She has not scheduled yet she wants to discuss the best timing for us.

Then what is your hesitation? She's offering to take it unpaid and on your schedule! Personally I would pay her anyway, especially after her show of good faith. But yes, you at the very least need to give her the time off. She needs a medical procedure!

Yes we have a backup. She does not want to take paid leave since this was unexpected. She has not scheduled yet she wants to discuss the best timing for us.

Anonymous wrote:Red flag.

She should have had them taken out before looking for a job.

Isn't she going to need add'l time off to recover?

I would look for another nanny.

One w/out wisdom teeth.

Agree bad form on the timing.
When did this get scheduled?
Can she use her nanny network and help find a good sub?
Is she at least apologetic or working wih your schedule? Maybe if you take spring break she can get it done then?

3 days is pretty standard. I had impacted wisdom teeth and had to have them surgically removed. I was on Vicodin for a week. It was intense. Also, a lot of dentists won't perform surgeries on a Friday. If there is any complication, the patient wod have to wait an entire weekend to see the dentist. It's better to do it mid-week. Give her the time off and don't give her trouble about it. Let her recuperate without having to worry about her job.

Red flag.

She should have had them taken out before looking for a job.

Isn't she going to need add'l time off to recover?

I would look for another nanny.

One w/out wisdom teeth.

Give it to her. That is standard for wisdom teeth. She is going to be on pain pills. Probably percocet and shouldn't drive on them let alone watch a child so give her the days off and use your backup care provider.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That seems rather extreme to me. Why can't she get them removed on a Friday and have the weekend to recover. Then she only misses 1 day. Or better yet get an app at 3 pm on a Friday and she can work until 2pm

I had my wisdom teeth pulled when I was 19 and I was out for a week. Plus the "blood breath" is about as bad as bad breath gets.

Wisdom teeth extraction, however, is rarely an emergency procedure. The nanny should have waited at least three months until she is established in her position.

I've had all of mine pulled as well and I was fine in 2 days. I never even felt any pain. I just couldn't talk for about a day.

Different people feel pain differently. I agree the nanny should schedule it for a Friday afternoon to miss the least amount of work possible. But I will say that I've had one cavity in my entire life, and spent a WEEK feeling like I'd been punched in the jaw. When I told the dentist he said "Yeah, about 10% of people have that reaction," and we found out I was one of them. But I could take a spinal tap without a problem.

Again, the nanny should do this on a Friday to minimize the time taken off, but please do be aware different people have different pain thresholds, and different people bounce back from surgery differently.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That seems rather extreme to me. Why can't she get them removed on a Friday and have the weekend to recover. Then she only misses 1 day. Or better yet get an app at 3 pm on a Friday and she can work until 2pm

I had my wisdom teeth pulled when I was 19 and I was out for a week. Plus the "blood breath" is about as bad as bad breath gets.

Wisdom teeth extraction, however, is rarely an emergency procedure. The nanny should have waited at least three months until she is established in her position.

I've had all of mine pulled as well and I was fine in 2 days. I never even felt any pain. I just couldn't talk for about a day.

Anonymous wrote:That seems rather extreme to me. Why can't she get them removed on a Friday and have the weekend to recover. Then she only misses 1 day. Or better yet get an app at 3 pm on a Friday and she can work until 2pm

I had my wisdom teeth pulled when I was 19 and I was out for a week. Plus the "blood breath" is about as bad as bad breath gets.

Wisdom teeth extraction, however, is rarely an emergency procedure. The nanny should have waited at least three months until she is established in her position.

That seems rather extreme to me. Why can't she get them removed on a Friday and have the weekend to recover. Then she only misses 1 day. Or better yet get an app at 3 pm on a Friday and she can work until 2pm

Let her use her sick days?

Give her the three days if she is a good nanny. If not -- you should give her notice.

We have only had the nanny a month. She has to get wisdom teeth pulled and is asking for three days off. What should we do?