If nanny is there 8-6, its easy to do three meals if breakfast is at 8, lunch midday, and dinner at 5 before parents get home. Parents are around for breakfast, and have playtime until bedtime.

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused. Your nanny prepares all 3 meals for your two kids? MB, not trying to be snide here, but when do you spend any time with your kids?

I'm not the OP but I'm a nanny who sometimes prepares all 3 meals. Both the people I work for are physicians. I work 4 days a week and get there at 6:30am. Usually they are home around 4:30 (so 30 minutes before I'd do dinner) but it's not unusual for them to be late, it's even happened that the kids have been asleep by the time one of them gets home, so they won't have seen their kids all day. It's not a good thing for sure but I feel a bit bad for them, they say all the time how no one ever told them in med school that they wouldn't have any say over the crazy hours they have to work. That's too bad but you just have to deal with it I guess and that's what I'm there for.

Hi-5 post above!

I'm confused. Your nanny prepares all 3 meals for your two kids? MB, not trying to be snide here, but when do you spend any time with your kids?

Anonymous wrote:OP here --- She wants to reduce her responsibilities in a number of ways from what she has now (more vacation, fewer hours, 2 meals instead of 3/day for kids) which I think is related to her much older husband retiring this spring. We cannot accomodate these requests, especially because we are expecting our 3rd child in a month.

A third kid. No wonder she wants out. Do not insult her by asking if she wants to babysit. If she did, she would have said something. Just cut the ties and both of you get on with your lives.

It is important for your children's sense of security that the nanny remain in their lives as already suggested. And that way there is no "good bye". Schedule a time for her to babysit before she leaves so she can tell the kids, "I'll see you next Saturday night".

For me, the thought of losing our nanny brings tears to my eyes! Hopefully it won't be for a few more years.

Anonymous wrote:I think a good way to separate w/out losing it emotionally is for you and your nanny to not necessarily see this as an ultimate "Good-bye."

I usually use this technique because I honestly hate "Good-byes." Nothing depresses me more.

Ask her if she would be interested in doing some date night occasional babysitting for you off and on in the future. This will allow her to still see the kids and this way she will still play a part in their lives so that this won't be the last time you will have to see her.

+3

I went through this last year, but I'm the nanny not the family. It was a very hard conversation to have for both of us even though we know we will confine to be friends. I still do date nights for them, they've had me and my husband over for dinner and I've even gone to a few of the sporting events the kids played in. I was with them 5 years and I'm positive we will always be in each other's lives. It's been 7 months since I stopped nannying for them but I haven't gone more than a month without seeing them. If it's important for both of you to keep in contact, you will.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a good way to separate w/out losing it emotionally is for you and your nanny to not necessarily see this as an ultimate "Good-bye."

I usually use this technique because I honestly hate "Good-byes." Nothing depresses me more.

Ask her if she would be interested in doing some date night occasional babysitting for you off and on in the future. This will allow her to still see the kids and this way she will still play a part in their lives so that this won't be the last time you will have to see her.

+1 Pretty much every family I've parted ways from has approached it this way. Of course, it doesn't always work out to see them often, or even sometimes really keep in touch at all, but the idea that they will see old nanny again will help ease the transition to your new nanny.

+2 I don't know how close you are to nanny and your husband, but if she's one of those part of the family nannies you can have her over with her husband for dinner or invite her to the birthday parties, and to see the new baby.

As for the kids allow them to express their feelings and acknowledge they may be sad.

Understand that it may take sometime for them to warm up to the new nanny. Be supportive of the new nanny and realize she will do things differently from your former nanny and that is okay.

Anonymous wrote:I think a good way to separate w/out losing it emotionally is for you and your nanny to not necessarily see this as an ultimate "Good-bye."

I usually use this technique because I honestly hate "Good-byes." Nothing depresses me more.

Ask her if she would be interested in doing some date night occasional babysitting for you off and on in the future. This will allow her to still see the kids and this way she will still play a part in their lives so that this won't be the last time you will have to see her.

+1 Pretty much every family I've parted ways from has approached it this way. Of course, it doesn't always work out to see them often, or even sometimes really keep in touch at all, but the idea that they will see old nanny again will help ease the transition to your new nanny.

How old are your children now?
How many hours a week does she work with your children?

I think a good way to separate w/out losing it emotionally is for you and your nanny to not necessarily see this as an ultimate "Good-bye."

I usually use this technique because I honestly hate "Good-byes." Nothing depresses me more.

Ask her if she would be interested in doing some date night occasional babysitting for you off and on in the future. This will allow her to still see the kids and this way she will still play a part in their lives so that this won't be the last time you will have to see her.

OP here --- She wants to reduce her responsibilities in a number of ways from what she has now (more vacation, fewer hours, 2 meals instead of 3/day for kids) which I think is related to her much older husband retiring this spring. We cannot accomodate these requests, especially because we are expecting our 3rd child in a month.

I feel like we need a little bit more info on why she is leaving to give you appropriate advice.

It will not be amicable. The woman is losing her job.

I'd appreciate hearing tips on how to handle the conversation with and subsequent transition from our nanny (and to a new one). She has been with us for 5 years and we'll be separating because of mutual recognition of changing needs on both sides - amicably. Regardless, I'm emotional about it, she's emotional about it, and I know my children will have a hard time at first, too. Its just sad to have a transition like this. I need moral support and tips on how to handle this gracefully for everyone involved.