Anonymous wrote:Why are you all assuming she was trying to pressure them? Why couldn't she have been legitimately making a decision this weekend?

Then keep it to yourself, no matter how you look at it she put pressure on them. If you need to make a decision by the weekend then if they haven't contacted you by the weekend you are free to make your decision. Why put pressure on them like that, they weren't in your time frame, it was very obvious. They didn't want to do trial days until next week and them likely decide by that weekend, a full 7 days after you want to make your decision. Just move on.

Anonymous wrote:Why are you all assuming she was trying to pressure them? Why couldn't she have been legitimately making a decision this weekend?

Okay, she could. But the family was NOT ready to make a decision this weekend so they went with someone else. Someone else who they had a trial day with.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I completely disagree that you can't ask why. I actually think you should. How you frame the question is important of course, but the answer could help you out in the future. I would follow up thanking her for letting you know, wishing them luck, and asking if there is anything you could have done differently or that you could improve. She may not answer, but I've gotten helpful feedback on my interview style.

No, never ask! Are you insane? You are assuming the employer will tell you the truth which is doubtful!

Do not act so desperate, OP. Move on and find another job!!! You said you had other offers - take one of them. Let it go!

Don't listen to this poster. You won't sound desperate, and seriously, what do you have to lose? Asking for feedback after an interview is common practice among successful professionals, but then I wouldn't expect many nannies to know that. Your instincts are rights OP.

Why are you all assuming she was trying to pressure them? Why couldn't she have been legitimately making a decision this weekend?

?

Anonymous wrote:So you said "no I will be making a decision this weekend" You were likely the last person they were interviewing and the last person they needed a trial day with. Couldn't do it on Friday so wanted to do next week. You told them youd be taking a job this weekend. They thought "ok we like her but she's not going to want to work with us because she wants to make a decision sooner than we are able to give her one. I guess we will go with someone we've already had a trial day with"

This is exactly it. You tried to pressure them into making a decision without having you do a trial day since they said they were ready to decide by this coming week and you said you were making a decision this weekend. So they went with someone who'd already done a trial day. You screwed yourself here.

Just email back and thank the for their time and let them know you're available for weekends and date nights. How they respond to that will tell you a lot.

That's what happens when you play hard ball. Sometimes you get hit in the face. Next time be humble and open instead of trying to act like a business professional.

So you said "no I will be making a decision this weekend" You were likely the last person they were interviewing and the last person they needed a trial day with. Couldn't do it on Friday so wanted to do next week. You told them youd be taking a job this weekend. They thought "ok we like her but she's not going to want to work with us because she wants to make a decision sooner than we are able to give her one. I guess we will go with someone we've already had a trial day with"

Anonymous wrote:I completely disagree that you can't ask why. I actually think you should. How you frame the question is important of course, but the answer could help you out in the future. I would follow up thanking her for letting you know, wishing them luck, and asking if there is anything you could have done differently or that you could improve. She may not answer, but I've gotten helpful feedback on my interview style.

No, never ask! Are you insane? You are assuming the employer will tell you the truth which is doubtful!

Do not act so desperate, OP. Move on and find another job!!! You said you had other offers - take one of them. Let it go!

I once asked why I didn't get the job. I thought everything went great the mom told me they wanted to hire me then emailed a few days later and said they were going with someone else. I was so confused and I asked why. Big mistake she ripped me a new ass hole. The woman basically hated everything about me even after telling me she wanted to hire me. I see it as I dodged a bullet but I will never ask again.

I completely disagree that you can't ask why. I actually think you should. How you frame the question is important of course, but the answer could help you out in the future. I would follow up thanking her for letting you know, wishing them luck, and asking if there is anything you could have done differently or that you could improve. She may not answer, but I've gotten helpful feedback on my interview style.

NEVER ASK WHY ANY EMPLOYER DID NOT GIVE YOU THE JOB. NEVER!!!!!

Thank them as PP mentioned and wish them all the best. Don't be an idiot and make them sure they made the right in decision in not choosing you!

Of course you can be confused but PLEASE let it go. Do not ask them why - just thank them for the interview, say it was wonderful meeting them and wish they all the best. DO NOT ASK WHY?

Any number of things could have happened that had nothing to do with you. I turned down two other jobs is favor of one that was very, very close to my house. It could be something as simple as that. The other nanny lived nearby.

I interviewed with a family on Thursday. The interviewed went really well. The parents complimented me on my professional and many other things. The interview went for an hour and a half. At the end the mom asked me if I could come for a trial day next week. She said she would email or text to set up a day. I asked them when they would be making a decision and they said by next week. They asked in return and I told them " I am currently entertaining offers that come with deadlines, so I will be making my decision by this weekend." The dad told me that they could make a decision by this weekend and to let them know if I am interested or not. The mom proceeded to tell me that she was interested and they liked me a lot. We left off at that.

I sent an email this morning thanking them for the interview and that I thought we would be a good fit. She later sent a reply saying they went with another nanny. I am bummed but also a little shocked because they weren't even going to make a decision until next week. Also because they wanted to set up a trial day. I am conflicted on whether to email and ask why they chose another candidate over me. Do I have the right to be confused?

Normally I can tell when it won't work and have received 9 out of 10 jobs that I like.