I find it /extremely/ interesting that this was just posted, considering that I just had someone do this to me!! (I nearly posted about it but decided not to, I'm glad someone else did instead). Nevertheless here is my story and take on it:

I am not in the DC area (I'm in another US city, nanny rates are a bit lower here). I went on three interviews in a row (one Tuesday, one wednesday, one Thursday) two weeks ago.

The Tuesday family had nine month old twins and had a /very/ long list of chores I would be responsible for during their nap time, including things like vacuuming the entire house, sanitizing moms breast milk pumping equipment, washing windows, etc, in addition to basic responsibilities (dishes, laundry, preparing baby food, etc). Also DB worked from home and said he was "constantly in and out of the kitchen and living room" (which was the main play area for the kids). They told me their former nanny had had to "suddenly leave due to health issues." They asked my rate and I told them for their job I would require $16/hr.

The Wednesday family had ten month old twins and requested no house work from me at all (aside from "please try to keep it in roughly the same condition as when you arrive, when possible"). They asked my rate and I told them $15/hr.

The Thursday family had one newborn and required no housework. They told me they were offering $15/hr for the position.

I am close with all my references (former MBs) and they all excitedly told me how they spoke highly of me to the Wednesday and Thursday families when they contacted them. However, they (former MBs) went out of their way to tell me that the Tuesday family specifically asked what rate they had paid me. They told me they felt uncomfortable being asked that, and that they did not answer that question.

So, aside, from making my references uncomfortable, what REALLY irritated me about this, is the fact that every single reference I had provided had been for jobs caring for a single child (not twins or even families with more than one child), and none of those positions had required any housework either. Also, because my most recent nanny position lasted three years, three out of four of my references were from positions that were held more than 3 years ago, and since then I've finished my degree in early childhood education, and taken two years of spanish language classes (and gained more professional nanny experience), so it's especially irrelevant what I made in those positions.

The Tuesday family ended up calling and offering me the job, at $15/hr. They said they couldn't afford any more than that (I know that MB was a naturopathic physician and DB was a financial advisor so i find that a bit hard to believe). They also cited the fact that their last nanny (who they raved about, but again, who had "left suddenly due to health concerns") was paid only $13/hr. [And on the subject of my pay with another family with only one child from five years ago being irrelevant; the pay that a different nanny got for the same position also feels irrelevant to me! I have impeccable references, ECE degree, and 13 years of nanny experience; it's hard to top that.]

I also received job offers the same day from the Wednesday and Thursday interview families, at the same pay rate (for a lot less work). It was actually a hard choice between those two families, but obviously I declined the Tuesday family's offer. I was extremely tempted to tell them about the fact that I got two other offers at the same pay rate for a lot less work, but I took the high road and just politely declined.

And, to top it all off, I spoke to a nanny friend of mine, and it turns out that her roommate (who has been unemployed for months and looking for a nanny job, but has only a year or two of very part time childcare experience) had apparently interviewed with the Tuesday family also, and she took the job--at $13/hr! I know she doesn't have much experience but we're talking about twin infants and a lengthy list of household chores here! My nanny friend told me that her roommate has only worked with them for one week and already was complaining about the workload and contemplating quitting! (Gee, really makes me question what happened to their last nanny??)

The point is, only skeezy, cheap, jerk parents resort to something as absurd and petty as asking references their former nanny's pay rate. At least in my experience anyway.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP the first time I was searching for a nanny, with one of the first referrals I got, I asked this question. I got FLAMED by the nanny's prior employer. I didn't see it coming at all.

And clearly several folks above agree with her reaction.

I can kind of see all sides. If I were trying to help our nanny find another job (and assuming it's because her many year tenure with us ended well - as I expect it will) I would be checking with her about what she did or didn't want us to say - and frankly I'd be helping her sell herself better. So me sharing rate information with a prospective employer would likely be helpful.

But I can see how it often wouldn't be info the nanny wouldn't want shared.

Tough call. If I were hiring again I might still try to elicit this info but I'd do it MUCH more carefully and tentatively and make it clear that I fully understand if someone doesn't feel comfortable sharing the information.

another way to get at it might be to say "our budget for hiring is a bit flexible, depending on skills and experience but we're hoping to hire in the $x to $z range per hour. Do you think that would be a range that Jane would be comfortable working within?

You might get a sense of whether you're in the ballpark or not without putting someone on the spot or feeling you're being inappropriate. Of course then you're also showing your hand a bit.

Good luck OP.

Unless your ballpark is $1-2 it likely doesn't help since the difference between $17/hr and $20 an hour is pretty massive to a nanny.

Well, if my range is $15-18/hr and the nanny I'm interviewing was making $20/hr or more then the reaction of her prior employer might be quite informative.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would it be cool to ask a nanny's reference how much they paid her? Or is that a no-no?

That's what I did. I took the numbers I got and based my offer off of that. I knew she was out of a job for a while and hard up for money so I offered her $2/hr under what I thought she would be happy with figuring she would get there with raises. It's been a year now with her and she seems happy. But I'm going to hold off on a raise unless she says something.

Could you troll a bit more obviously? Seriously, do you have NOTHING else to do with your time??

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would it be cool to ask a nanny's reference how much they paid her? Or is that a no-no?

That's what I did. I took the numbers I got and based my offer off of that. I knew she was out of a job for a while and hard up for money so I offered her $2/hr under what I thought she would be happy with figuring she would get there with raises. It's been a year now with her and she seems happy. But I'm going to hold off on a raise unless she says something.

You're an asshole. You're purposefully taking advantage of your nanny.

Anonymous wrote:OP the first time I was searching for a nanny, with one of the first referrals I got, I asked this question. I got FLAMED by the nanny's prior employer. I didn't see it coming at all.

And clearly several folks above agree with her reaction.

I can kind of see all sides. If I were trying to help our nanny find another job (and assuming it's because her many year tenure with us ended well - as I expect it will) I would be checking with her about what she did or didn't want us to say - and frankly I'd be helping her sell herself better. So me sharing rate information with a prospective employer would likely be helpful.

But I can see how it often wouldn't be info the nanny wouldn't want shared.

Tough call. If I were hiring again I might still try to elicit this info but I'd do it MUCH more carefully and tentatively and make it clear that I fully understand if someone doesn't feel comfortable sharing the information.

another way to get at it might be to say "our budget for hiring is a bit flexible, depending on skills and experience but we're hoping to hire in the $x to $z range per hour. Do you think that would be a range that Jane would be comfortable working within?

You might get a sense of whether you're in the ballpark or not without putting someone on the spot or feeling you're being inappropriate. Of course then you're also showing your hand a bit.

Good luck OP.

Unless your ballpark is $1-2 it likely doesn't help since the difference between $17/hr and $20 an hour is pretty massive to a nanny.

Anonymous wrote:Would it be cool to ask a nanny's reference how much they paid her? Or is that a no-no?

That's what I did. I took the numbers I got and based my offer off of that. I knew she was out of a job for a while and hard up for money so I offered her $2/hr under what I thought she would be happy with figuring she would get there with raises. It's been a year now with her and she seems happy. But I'm going to hold off on a raise unless she says something.

OP the first time I was searching for a nanny, with one of the first referrals I got, I asked this question. I got FLAMED by the nanny's prior employer. I didn't see it coming at all.

And clearly several folks above agree with her reaction.

I can kind of see all sides. If I were trying to help our nanny find another job (and assuming it's because her many year tenure with us ended well - as I expect it will) I would be checking with her about what she did or didn't want us to say - and frankly I'd be helping her sell herself better. So me sharing rate information with a prospective employer would likely be helpful.

But I can see how it often wouldn't be info the nanny wouldn't want shared.

Tough call. If I were hiring again I might still try to elicit this info but I'd do it MUCH more carefully and tentatively and make it clear that I fully understand if someone doesn't feel comfortable sharing the information.

another way to get at it might be to say "our budget for hiring is a bit flexible, depending on skills and experience but we're hoping to hire in the $x to $z range per hour. Do you think that would be a range that Jane would be comfortable working within?

You might get a sense of whether you're in the ballpark or not without putting someone on the spot or feeling you're being inappropriate. Of course then you're also showing your hand a bit.

Good luck OP.

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I am strange, but I divulged this info to people who called me for a reference. We paid well, and I wanted our former nanny to get a good rate, so I thought that it would be helpful to show that she had a strong salary history.

I understand that you are coming from a good place her, but it really can hurt your nanny. Say your nanny made $20/hour working for you for 40 hours per week, but was interviewing for a much easier position over all, but for closer to 60 hours per week. You could very well scare off that potential employer with your rate because all they are thinking about is 20 hours of OT at $30/hour! This is why I ask my employers not to discuss it. Leave those conversations up to me.

Maybe I am strange, but I divulged this info to people who called me for a reference. We paid well, and I wanted our former nanny to get a good rate, so I thought that it would be helpful to show that she had a strong salary history.

No. It is question that you should not ask. The nanny has a rate that she quoted you - what difference does it make how much she was paid at one point in the past? She is coming to your position with more experience.

As an MB who loved my children's nanny, I would tell you off if you asked me that question.

Yes if you are trying to match/exceed what the prior employer gave. Same as new job asking for your last year W2

Anonymous wrote:Would it be cool to ask a nanny's reference how much they paid her?

No.

Also wanted to add that this I have it specifically spelled out in my contract that my employers are not to even discuss pay when answering reference questions, because of the reasons that I stated. I don't want someone trying to decide for me what rate I should accept based off of what I accepted in the past.

It's just a silly thing to do. Every single nanny job is unique, and the details of your position, and the current skills and experience level of your candidate are far more important when deciding on an appropriate rate. There are also things that you can't see that might influence the rate she will accept. Quote something that you are comfortable with and that you feel is fair given the circumstances.

Would it be cool to ask a nanny's reference how much they paid her? Or is that a no-no?