Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am currently searching for an AP and am weighing male and female candidates just the same. Just interviewed a wonderful man from Germany and he was almost perfect, but he had no experiences with children who are constantly fighting (mine!) and did not seem to know what he would do to command respect and be able to handle our boys when they are about ti kill each other. Seemed like all of his experience was with kids who played nicely together.

Have you ever considered disciplining your children and solving their behavior problems instead of trying to cater around it?

Kids fighting is a perfectly normal part of child development.

Anonymous wrote:I am currently searching for an AP and am weighing male and female candidates just the same. Just interviewed a wonderful man from Germany and he was almost perfect, but he had no experiences with children who are constantly fighting (mine!) and did not seem to know what he would do to command respect and be able to handle our boys when they are about ti kill each other. Seemed like all of his experience was with kids who played nicely together.

Have you ever considered disciplining your children and solving their behavior problems instead of trying to cater around it?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am currently searching for an AP and am weighing male and female candidates just the same. Just interviewed a wonderful man from Germany and he was almost perfect, but he had no experiences with children who are constantly fighting (mine!) and did not seem to know what he would do to command respect and be able to handle our boys when they are about ti kill each other. Seemed like all of his experience was with kids who played nicely together.

We had this problem with one of our female APs. Sigh. It was a long year with her. And then our next (male) AP arrived and within the first week, did a roadtrip with the two children and me. The children were bickering in the back of the car, carrying on the whole trip, and I was mortified and thought he would get on the next plane home. When we talked about it that night, he laughed and said he didn't know there was anything epecially amiss because the kids he was used to in his home country would have been cursing and punching each other, and then cursing and punching him when he tried to get them to stop, not just bickering. Best. AP. Ever. I screen for "has cared for fighting siblings" now.

Yup. Thats my biggest criteria right now-effective referee. I even posted a you tube video of a typical MMA fight in our family room. I want the AP to know what they are signing up for. Currently my 5yr old has two loose teeth from being punched in the face. It is non stop and completely over the top. I have Boyd on the far end of the rough and tumble sporty spectrum. This is not an arts and crafts home.

My big problem is there are just not many great male APs in the pool right now. One I liked on paper, my DH declared was too hot so no interview.

If you are looking with CCAP, you are right - there are no good male applications. But give it a few weeks. We have had male APs the past two years, and each time, there was nothing exciting available in January but come early feb, there were stellar candidates. Our first male AP (the one described above) was a total rockstar - had taught in a boarding school for boys with behavioral disabilities (so knew BOYS and was great with CHALLENGES). His application was a joke: Had been in the army for a year (lived away from home), served as a medic (safety conscious), drove a caravan in the army through the snowy mountains (great driver), was just the nicest guy ever (his references all said that not only was he amazing, but he had no idea how amazing he was, that was how modest he was). If I could bottle this guy, I could make millions. He was really that awesome. Our AP this year is equally qualified: trained as an elementary teacher so really knows children, totally organized and punctual, proactive, great driver, etc etc. Both times, when I saw their applications, I said to myself, "this is our next AP.' No one available in the pool now looks even close to them. So hang in there. I do think there are more stellar male APs than stellar female APs (because so few males are accepted into the program and those who are, need to be especially qualified to find families) so do not rush or settle. There will be tons more applications for summer coming soon. Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am currently searching for an AP and am weighing male and female candidates just the same. Just interviewed a wonderful man from Germany and he was almost perfect, but he had no experiences with children who are constantly fighting (mine!) and did not seem to know what he would do to command respect and be able to handle our boys when they are about ti kill each other. Seemed like all of his experience was with kids who played nicely together.

We had this problem with one of our female APs. Sigh. It was a long year with her. And then our next (male) AP arrived and within the first week, did a roadtrip with the two children and me. The children were bickering in the back of the car, carrying on the whole trip, and I was mortified and thought he would get on the next plane home. When we talked about it that night, he laughed and said he didn't know there was anything epecially amiss because the kids he was used to in his home country would have been cursing and punching each other, and then cursing and punching him when he tried to get them to stop, not just bickering. Best. AP. Ever. I screen for "has cared for fighting siblings" now.

Yup. Thats my biggest criteria right now-effective referee. I even posted a you tube video of a typical MMA fight in our family room. I want the AP to know what they are signing up for. Currently my 5yr old has two loose teeth from being punched in the face. It is non stop and completely over the top. I have Boyd on the far end of the rough and tumble sporty spectrum. This is not an arts and crafts home.

My big problem is there are just not many great male APs in the pool right now. One I liked on paper, my DH declared was too hot so no interview.

Anonymous wrote:I am currently searching for an AP and am weighing male and female candidates just the same. Just interviewed a wonderful man from Germany and he was almost perfect, but he had no experiences with children who are constantly fighting (mine!) and did not seem to know what he would do to command respect and be able to handle our boys when they are about ti kill each other. Seemed like all of his experience was with kids who played nicely together.

We had this problem with one of our female APs. Sigh. It was a long year with her. And then our next (male) AP arrived and within the first week, did a roadtrip with the two children and me. The children were bickering in the back of the car, carrying on the whole trip, and I was mortified and thought he would get on the next plane home. When we talked about it that night, he laughed and said he didn't know there was anything epecially amiss because the kids he was used to in his home country would have been cursing and punching each other, and then cursing and punching him when he tried to get them to stop, not just bickering. Best. AP. Ever. I screen for "has cared for fighting siblings" now.

I am currently searching for an AP and am weighing male and female candidates just the same. Just interviewed a wonderful man from Germany and he was almost perfect, but he had no experiences with children who are constantly fighting (mine!) and did not seem to know what he would do to command respect and be able to handle our boys when they are about ti kill each other. Seemed like all of his experience was with kids who played nicely together.

Bump

Yes he has plenty of experience working in a day care. He also babysits my kids when we visit. He takes the to the playground etc. He is Indian but was born and brought up in South Africa.

Yes he has plenty of experience working in a day care. He also babysits my kids when we visit. He takes the to the playground etc. He is Indian but was born and brought up in South Africa.

Does he have child care experience? What country is he from?

No he isn't. I did since I don't know if some people may feel uneasy about having a male Au pair.

Anonymous wrote:My nephew is looking to come over for a year and this is a good way for him to earn pocket money and see a new country while doing something he is good at. He is good with kids. He is smart, respectful and is great at playing sports. I guess he would be ideal for someone with older boys who are energetic and would need to play etc.

There is a whole thread on au pair mom about how male APs are not just for older male host children. If your nephew is going to limit his consideration to only families with older boys, he may find there aren't many to choose from.

My nephew is looking to come over for a year and this is a good way for him to earn pocket money and see a new country while doing something he is good at. He is good with kids. He is smart, respectful and is great at playing sports. I guess he would be ideal for someone with older boys who are energetic and would need to play etc.