No one else has raised the issue of your nanny and your housekeeping, so I will.

When the decision was made that nanny would become your cleaner ("She is responsible for doing the housekeeping (laundry, vaccuming, bathrooms etc.) while the girls are in school. "), was that YOUR choice, or HER choice?

I think many times nanny burnout happens when more and more cleaning duties are added to the list of expectations. And yes, I know she has 2 - 2.5 hours a day each school day to fill, but maybe her attitude is due to feeling less than valued for her childcare skills, and more prized for her cleaning abilities.

I would suggest you talk with nanny and see if you can determine what is causing her dissatisfaction. Then you can decide whether you like her enough to take steps to fix any issues that are causing her attitude to be poor, or whether between the strain on your budget that a higher pay rate will cause and your needs that she isn't happy about fulfilling, it's better to part ways.

If you do want to keep this nanny, and if the housekeeping is what is souring her performance, maybe she can add value to your lives in some other way. Grocery shopping, errand running, organizing, household management, cooking, etc are all possible chores she could take on instead of cleaning.

Good luck!

I'm a nanny who is following this post, and I may have missed this, but why do you want to keep this nanny?

What's it about her that you are willing to change so much to make things work?

Nanny- family relationships go both ways . What is she doing to improve the situation? Does she see there is a problem.

You are prepared to stretch your budget to pay her more because she wants to live out even though your needs require a live in.

You are going to pay her more even though she will be working less, and she is working less when you could still use her those hours.

You are making these accommodations for her and she's spending less time with your kids, and when she is with them by your admission she's not great with them in fact she is rude to them.
Which isn't OK. Plenty of nannies transition from infants to preschoolers without taking it out on the kids.

Why do you want to keep her? I'm asking honestly.

Is it just because she's been with you 3 years?

Op here--yes, we will have to pay more. However, moving out was something she requested. This would not be our preference. Paying more is really starting to stretch out budget...but hoping that if we do a small raise plus two late start mornings and she lives out (as she prefers) that we will find some balance and she will have more energy/enthusiasm for the girls.

Yes, what PP said - she might be aging out of her interest level re: ages of children. Finding a nanny who loves preschoolers from 3 to 5 years old might be the best now.

Or your discussion might light a fire under her and she'll get more creative and be fabulous.

I'd imagine you have to increase her salary once she moves out, since she needs to make enough to pay her own rent, for food, electricity, water, etc. I mean, one pays a live-in less than a live-out for that reason, to pay less, right?

Anonymous wrote:OP here--Thanks for this feedback and keep it coming. I would not dock her pay if we moved the start time. The girls are dropping their naps so I'm just worried that it's a lot of hours to be on...they are sweet kids and not crazy-but I know how I feel at the end of the weekend with them. We currently pay $730/per week (remember she lives with us--so that includes room/board/food....) Thinking about raising to $750/week plus I really like the idea of two mornings a week off (just arrive in time to pick up the girls....).

But if we do this--is it fair to have a conversation about being more engaged with the girls? While nanny was awesome with the girls when they were infants, I have noticed that her enthusiasm/engagement/creativity waning...just seems shorter with the girls, less patient, fewer games (seem to always do the same activities--legoes, block...). Thanks in advance for everyone's input.

Nanny poster. It's always fair to discuss job performance with your nanny especially when you have concerns and are looking for improvement.
Honestly the schedule she has now isn't unreasonable, though it is great that you are so considerate of her.

It may just be she is a better infant and toddler nanny and your girls have aged out of her expertise.

Talk it over with her. I know I'd want my employer to talk things over with me.
You seem very reasonable OP. Hope everything works out.

OP you have gotten some good advice. The schedule is long, but not unheard of. I would be careful about hours and your proposed weekly pay rate. Remember as a live out your nanny is entitled to overtime - she gets regular hourly pay as a live in. Also as a live out she has commute time to/from that will make her day longer.

I assumed below that you are in DC - you can run these numbers at 4nannytaxes.com yourself if you live elsewhere.

It can be a matter of perception. Here are a few scenarios. And remember DC minimum wage increases another $1/hour July 1 2015!

Live in 65 hour a week:

Hourly Pay Rate Calculator Results

Your inputs:

Work State: DC
Salary: $730.00
Pay Frequency: Weekly
WEEKLY hours worked: 65
Residential Status: Live In Employee

Results:

The hourly wage being offered is $11.23.

NOTE: The DC Minimum Hourly Wage: $9.50

Suggested Contract Language

Employee Weekly compensation of $730.00 gross, based on an gross hourly wage of $11.23 and a 65 hour work week. Employee guaranteed minimum Weekly compensation of $730.00 gross.

Calculation performed December 2, 2014.
DC Minimum Wage: $9.50 per hour


Live out 65 hours a week (don't know how long the night is)
Hourly Pay Rate Calculator Results

Your inputs:

Work State: DC
Salary: $750.00
Pay Frequency: Weekly
WEEKLY hours worked: 65
Residential Status: Live Out Employee

Results:

The hourly wage being offered is $9.68.
The overtime wage is $14.52

NOTE: The DC Minimum Hourly Wage: $9.50

Suggested Contract Language

Employee Weekly compensation of $750.00 gross, based on an gross hourly wage of $9.68 and a 65 hour work week. Employee guaranteed minimum Weekly compensation of $750.00 gross. Weekly hours worked in excess of 40 per week to be compensated at $14.52 gross per hour.

Calculation performed December 2, 2014.
DC Minimum Wage: $9.50 per hour

Live out 60 hours a week (assuming 2 later mornings?)

Hourly Pay Rate Calculator Results

Your inputs:

Work State: DC
Salary: $750.00
Pay Frequency: Weekly
WEEKLY hours worked: 60
Residential Status: Live Out Employee

Results:

The hourly wage being offered is $10.71.
The overtime wage is $16.07

NOTE: The DC Minimum Hourly Wage: $9.50

Suggested Contract Language

Employee Weekly compensation of $750.00 gross, based on an gross hourly wage of $10.71 and a 60 hour work week. Employee guaranteed minimum Weekly compensation of $750.00 gross. Weekly hours worked in excess of 40 per week to be compensated at $16.07 gross per hour.

Calculation performed December 2, 2014.
DC Minimum Wage: $9.50 per hour

OP here--Thanks for this feedback and keep it coming. I would not dock her pay if we moved the start time. The girls are dropping their naps so I'm just worried that it's a lot of hours to be on...they are sweet kids and not crazy-but I know how I feel at the end of the weekend with them. We currently pay $730/per week (remember she lives with us--so that includes room/board/food....) Thinking about raising to $750/week plus I really like the idea of two mornings a week off (just arrive in time to pick up the girls....).

But if we do this--is it fair to have a conversation about being more engaged with the girls? While nanny was awesome with the girls when they were infants, I have noticed that her enthusiasm/engagement/creativity waning...just seems shorter with the girls, less patient, fewer games (seem to always do the same activities--legoes, block...). Thanks in advance for everyone's input.

Nanny here. What you are asking doesn't seem outrageous. It's like many nanny jobs. Especially for a nanny who doesn't have kids part of the day.

She may just be stressed over moving in a month? Moving can be stressful especially if she's never been on her own or if she is going to live with her SO for the first time.

While moving the start time is a nice idea, I doubt your nanny would want to lose pay.

So she's working a 10.5 hr day and one day a week it's longer than that. Do you really need her help every morning? I mean you shouldn't need three adults to get two children ready. I'd consider strongly moving her start time to 8:30 or 9.

She has weekends off.

OP, does she get the weekends off or does she work every single day?

op here--we get home at 6. We handle bathing the kids and putting them to bed.

What time to you get home in the evening ?

Yes, I would have her get at least two mornings a week off.

Our nanny has been with us since our twins were 4 months old. They are now 3 and attend pre-school from 9-12 every day. I usually drop them off. Nanny walks a short distance (12 min. walk) to pick them up. I am increasingly concerned that we are asking too much of our nanny--and would like to get others perspective on whether we are being fair. Nanny currently lives with us--but will be moving out in January to live in her own place.

At this time, she usually starts her day around 7:30 am, eats breakfast with us--and helps the girls get ready for school. She isn't fully "on" at this time since my husband and I are usually around and so we are all involved in getting the girls ready. She is responsible for doing the housekeeping (laundry, vaccuming, bathrooms etc.) while the girls are in school. She picks up the girls and is responsible for their care until we get home. One night a week she puts them to bed so my husband and I can either work late or have a date night.

We pay taxes, health care etc. This year, nanny will have 5 weeks paid vacation (original contract was two weeks--one week of her choice and one week our choice). Three of the weeks are at her request. Two weeks are vacations we already planned.

Does this sound excessive? Nanny seems extremely burnt out -- and I am worried that we are asking too much. Your thoughts appreciated!