I agree with the respect part.

We've had our nanny for 2+ years and things are great. We are each highly respectful of the other. I've been late once, in two years, by 5 minutes and am usually 15 minutes early.

We give our nanny raises. she is probably paid a tiny bit above market but we don't give out major benefits. No health, two weeks vacation (that she chooses) + major holidays of her choosing (ie no MLK, she prefers the day after Easter). She gets regular raises and we never give her flack for taking off sick days, which aren't excessive (2-3 per year, tops) or other time off. We are appreciative that whenever possible she gives us lots of advance warning of times. We ask her for extra times but if she can't do it , I accept that -- her time outside of our agreed hours is her time, and if she has prior commitments, that's my problem not hers. If she is expected to be on call I have to pay for that. Likewise, if we go away or don't need her, we always pay her for agreed upon hours. That's common courtesy for a job that doesn't pay enough to put away ample savings. We give a gift for birthdays ($100) and Xmas (a few hundred) which is nice but not excessive. I'd rather provide what I have for decent, stable salary and guaranteed hours.

We have regular meetings to make sure we are on the same page re discipline and best practices. We always respect her opinion and use that in making our own childcare decisions. We can do this because we hired her knowing we would trust her.

If our nanny requests a toy or baby item, we generally buy it, within reason, but it's always been within reason. We don't sweat the small stuff. Occasionally she has lunch with her mom and my kids (her mom is really sweet) or once every couple of months might have her mom drop by. I've met her mom so it's fine. She takes my son to the grocery store for her own food sometimes. He enjoys it. And in return she goes above and beyond for us, reorganizing kids' closets, trimming nails regularly, setting up projects for the kids, asking about nursery school and getting involved. We are all adults and act like it.

I can't swear to you our nanny is over the moon, but she seems to really enjoy the job and she tells my MIL when she visits how much she likes working for us. I can say that I feel like we have a functional relationship.

There are a lot of cartoonish posts on this board -- maybe some nannies do get $30+/hour, or some MBs think they can get away with shorting their nannies when they can well afford not to, or making mountains of molehills. But I think being a fair, respectful, interested employer is likely what most nannies (or at least most nannies you'd want to hire and keep) are looking for.

Anonymous wrote:"Respect" on this board usually seems to be code for 1 week's bonus at Christmas, paid days off whenever being there would be more of a PITA than usual (parent at home, sick kid, grandparents visiting), yearly raises, extra vacation, etc..

In other words, the best way to keep a nanny is to pay her well and make her job as easy as possible. Isn't that the best way to keep any employee?

I am the first nanny that says respect. To me that had nothing to do with them paying me a bonus or high wage. Respect to me is paying me on time, respecting my time and that they can't be late with no notice, respecting that I have other priorities and I'm not their slave, and listening to my opinions instead of shutting them down.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Respect" on this board usually seems to be code for 1 week's bonus at Christmas, paid days off whenever being there would be more of a PITA than usual (parent at home, sick kid, grandparents visiting), yearly raises, extra vacation, etc..

In other words, the best way to keep a nanny is to pay her well and make her job as easy as possible. Isn't that the best way to keep any employee?

OP, looks like you couldn't resist attempting to answer your own que$tion!

The best way to keep an employee is a good work environment, effective communication, and mutual respect. Pay should be fair - for both sides.

I'm the OP and that's not my response.
I have refrained from a response.
I'm curious how others feel.
I am especially curious about the response of MBs and DBs

Anonymous wrote:"Respect" on this board usually seems to be code for 1 week's bonus at Christmas, paid days off whenever being there would be more of a PITA than usual (parent at home, sick kid, grandparents visiting), yearly raises, extra vacation, etc..

In other words, the best way to keep a nanny is to pay her well and make her job as easy as possible. Isn't that the best way to keep any employee?

OP, looks like you couldn't resist attempting to answer your own que$tion!

The best way to keep an employee is a good work environment, effective communication, and mutual respect. Pay should be fair - for both sides.

Anonymous wrote:There's always discussion on how to find a nanny and the extras a nanny needs to do to keep her job, but there is little discussion on how to keep a good nanny.

What's the secrets nannies?

Post on DCUM 20x a day. Give her an iPad so she can post as other people.

How to Keep a Good Nanny?

Plain and Simple OP. Really...

~ Come home on time, all the time. If you are going to be late, please text or call ahead of time and let us know. Common courtesy to let us know that you understand our time is just as valuable as yours is.

~ Pay us a competitive salary and do not nickel and dime us. And please do not forget to pay us on time. There is no excuse for late payments, missed payments or bounced checks. None.

~ Offer us 100% autonomy on the job. Trust us that we can handle the responsibility, then hand it to us. Do not micromanage us or interfere. Nothing will make a nanny leave faster than a parent who oversteps boundaries.

~ Treat us with respect. Do not treat us like "The Hired Help." While we do not need to acknowledged as family members per say, we also do not want to be treated as anything less than what we are and that is the same as what you are as well. Human being...In a nutshell.

~ Last, but not least, understand that gratitude speaks volumes in this profession. When leaving after a long day, hearing "Thank You" is very gratifying...More than you know.

I'm not going to say the obvious ones, some are out of your control (i.e. nanny stumbles upon a family that will pay $10 an hour more and you can't match that.) Just pay the best you can, don't pile on extra work just to feel like you are getting a good value, etc.

But the number one big plus for me in my favorite families is that they just make me feel like they appreciate what I am doing for them, that it's not just a costly expense they HAVE to do, but they make me feel like they hired me because I am worth it for their child. When they come home they actually listen to what I want to tell them about our day and DCs development. They enjoy the pictures I take, they share them with family, they have the kids write me cards occasionally and for holidays just like I do for them with the kids. They give a sincere thank you every day instead of just a good bye. Those types of things.

"Respect" on this board usually seems to be code for 1 week's bonus at Christmas, paid days off whenever being there would be more of a PITA than usual (parent at home, sick kid, grandparents visiting), yearly raises, extra vacation, etc..

In other words, the best way to keep a nanny is to pay her well and make her job as easy as possible. Isn't that the best way to keep any employee?

I've been with my current family 18 months, somethings I love about them:
* they don't guilt me about babysitting/ extra hours - if they ask me to babysit for Wednesday on a Sunday or Monday and I already have plans no big deal
*they pay me even when they are away/ guaranteed hours (I had two weeks in the summer off and they went to see MB's parents for 3 weeks in Oct and I was paid)
*parents say thank you and encourage the kids to say thanks too
*when they want me to do something differently they just ask "hey would you mind doing it this way?"

I too agree with good communication, its hard to do something if you don't let me know what it is you want!
Appreciation is huge. the last family I worked for I had done 5 days instead of my usual 3 and the mum send me a lovely email at the end of the week to say thanks

Anonymous wrote:I will add that humility is part of respect. Here is an example: last week was busy and stressful for both MB and myself. She was trying to get everything ready for hosting Thanksgiving and our routine was off, as well as extra tasks I had volunteered for to help prep for the meal. To top it off, we had less time for communication than usual as she had to be out thw door early to run errands. Twice, the stress and lack of cummunication led to a glitch--neither was a big deal or really anyone's fault, just a little added stress. Both times, one of us texted the other later to apologize for getting stressed with the other, and both times the other apologized for their part in it as well. One I initiated and the second ahe did. It was lovely to be able to let that frustration go and not get turned into resentment.

Why were you helping her prepare for Thanksgiving? You are a nanny, not a maid, cook, etc.

I will add that humility is part of respect. Here is an example: last week was busy and stressful for both MB and myself. She was trying to get everything ready for hosting Thanksgiving and our routine was off, as well as extra tasks I had volunteered for to help prep for the meal. To top it off, we had less time for communication than usual as she had to be out thw door early to run errands. Twice, the stress and lack of cummunication led to a glitch--neither was a big deal or really anyone's fault, just a little added stress. Both times, one of us texted the other later to apologize for getting stressed with the other, and both times the other apologized for their part in it as well. One I initiated and the second ahe did. It was lovely to be able to let that frustration go and not get turned into resentment.

As a nanny the #1 is mutual respect. Respect of my time, life outside my job, and opinions.

#2 Good people. I can't work for a family if they aren't trustworthy or have integrity. I like my employers to be professional but don't treat me like " the help". They do the right thing regarding legal pay, time off, appreciation, etc.

#3 They don't micromanage me. I work with a lot of first time moms and that can be a challenge. I am more than happy following her parental style but please let me do my job. Frankly, I have more experience with infants and don't need someone breathing down my neck everytime I change a diaper or prepare a bottle. I know what I'm doing!

This is all I ask. Mutual respect and great communication. Doing the right thing and being appreciative of what I do.

Genuinely curious what the responses will be?

Bored, OP?

There's always discussion on how to find a nanny and the extras a nanny needs to do to keep her job, but there is little discussion on how to keep a good nanny.

What's the secrets nannies?