It has not been my experience that parents are trying to take advantage of me and underpay; in fact, I have only had two families out of the dozens and dozens I've worked with who would fall into that category. The vast majority have been kind, reasonable and generous.

I truly love working with children and enjoy helping things go more smoothly for my families. I work hard, am reliable, and take excellent care of their children. Just like with any business, however, it is my responsibility to set a fair price for my services based on the quality of my service as well as my expenditure of time and energy. It is then their choice whether or not to engage my services. Some do; some don't; some counter-offer. Some have even offered more than I would have ever even thought to ask. There are some to whom I have refused or discontinued service, and there are some to whom I've offered a steeply discounted rate just because they were such lovely people who really needed a hand up.

It's a two-way street, and my families and I work together to reach an agreement that works for both of us. If the job is more demanding, and there is no one else willing or able to provide the service the family needs, then yes, I should be compensated for my ability to do so, and I don't have a problem with letting my families know how much I am willing to work for.

I have to agree w/you on this totally.

Caring for more difficult children is much more physically + mentally draining to a caregiver thus the caregiver should be compensated accordingly.

I think it is up to the parent to make this determination, not the nanny.

If I had a difficult child, I would naturally offer a higher salary to my nanny/sitter since I would understand she would be more stressed caring for my child over another.

Sadly, many parents are only out for themselves and are always trying to save a buck so this is not something that happens often.

Therefore the nanny/sitter must make this determination which she shouldn't have to.

I do both. I command a much higher rate than the average because I'm willing to work with difficult children. The parents will pay for it, though; it has to be worth it. Nice parents also go a long way. If the parents are nasty and the child is horrible, there's no way I would do it.

OP, are you talking about nannying or babysitting?

I wouldn't accept a nanny position for a family or kids I wasn't happy with even if they did offer more money. It won't be worth it in the long run.

I have learned to read cues on how parents describe/talk about their children. Certain phrases imply that the child is in control, parenting and expectations are inconsistent, etc., things like that which can lead to a child who is difficult to handle. If children are present during the interview, I also use that as a cue to set my pricing. For example, during one interview, the children ran around the house screaming and hitting each other the entire time and even climbing up the outside of the staircase. The rate I quoted her to make it worth it for me to deal with that was several dollars above my normal top tier for that number of children. Parents of a single little one, playing calmly and behaving respectfully are quoted a price at the bottom end of the range. If I'm uncertain, I'll sometimes suggest a meet and play as a good first step. That is usually so telling about the family dynamic. One family comes to mind where the child was insistent with the mother to get her way, mother consistently reversed her decisions, child would play parents off each other and try to manipulate the situations. These were all about little things on the meet and play, but were clear warning signs to me, so I quoted a price at the top of my range. Sure enough, the girl was a TERROR.

Don't you need to tell them your rate before you get to really know how difficult the kids are? Are you adjusting your rate afterwards?

How much I charge is directly related to how difficult your children are.