For the first two families with older children that I worked for I was their first nanny, and the kids were so excited to have me start because the alternative was after school care which they didn't enjoy.

I worked for one family where they had gone through so many nannies, and it was just how you are describing this current family. I didn't end up working with them for very long because I just couldn't handle the constant disrespect. I think there is a reason why your family has gone through so many nannies, and I think that kind of situation is hard on the kids. They see caregivers come and go. They don't care why Miss Lizzie the summer nanny went away. They liked her, and they don't understand that she was only on break from college, so now you are taking care of them, you know?

I don't know what advice to give you other than to maybe wait it out. Perhaps once they see that you're not going anywhere they will try to make an effort to have better attitudes with you. I was hit, kicked and screamed at by the older kids. They told me I was stupid, smelled bad, called me poopy (lol). I obviously knew they were just pulling random insults out of thin air, but I just couldn't tolerate it anymore.

/\ Great advice but I would leave out the part about quitting if they funny behave. It's not cool to threaten a child and I don't think that will help them feel secure with the new nanny, it will scare them.

I am a nanny. Here is what I would do ...

I would talk to both kids when you're having a quiet time and tell them something like :

"I understand it takes time to get used to a new nanny, after all you don't know me and I don't know you. What I know is that I like you guys, I can see how smart/sweet etc you are and the only thing I don't like is when you yell at me or roll your eyes. You're a big boy/big girl now, and this is between you and me, I will not speak to your parents about it if you promise me you will behave. Do we have a deal ? Because if you continue doing this, I will have to leave and care for other kids, maybe the new nanny will not be as nice as me, you see ..."

By opening your heart I think they can totally understand what you mean ...

If it doesn't work out you'll have to speak to the mom, hopefull she'll be on your side.

I don't have much advice for how long it takes kids to adapt because mine are younger and I think it takes longer for older ones to adjust. But I do feel like 2 weeks is more than enough time to let them get used to you before you start enforcing good behavior. I think the way you have handled situations so far is good (talking to the k'er about how to talk to you when she wants to go another way home etc) but I think it's time to talk to the MB about not allowing them to speak to you the way they do. If she wouldn't normally let that go you need to talk to her about how she wants to handle it but I think the longer you let it go the harder it will be to change the behavior.

I started an after school nanny job two weeks ago for a child in Kinder and a 2nd grader. I pick tem up from school, take them to the park/library/play dates/ one organized activity a week, drive them home, supervise homework for the older one, cook dinner, and supervise baths. I'm a newer nanny, with a background in education and 10 years of extensive babysitting (including overnights). I really like the parents, our parenting strategies/techniques are very similar, and the kids seem like interesting, funny kids. They had one nanny for many years, an after school nanny last year, a few short term ones over the summer, and MB has been picking them up while trying to arrange care. The transition has been rough, and I was wondering if anyone had any advice. MB's advice has been to let things go/pick your battles while they're dealing with the transition even though she doesn't usually do that. I've been letting a lot of the disrespect/attention seeking behavior go, but am starting to get really frustrated and doubt myself. I think part of my problem is that I'm pretty used to kids immediately liking me, and so haven't really honed my winning-them-over skills. I'm also with them when they're exhausted after school (esp the k'er), and getting through homework/trying to get them to sit at the table and eat dinner/take baths doesn't leave a lot of time for fun stuff always. I do try and make time to do something fun together--we've had several successful art projects etc, and they're always happier/easier then. I'm running into problems with the non-negotiables, I had to grab the kindergartener's bike handlebars yesterday because she wanted to go a different way home from the park and started screaming at me that she was going to cross the (busy) street by herself and go home alone and she didn't have to listen to me because I was stupid. I later worked it out that the way she wanted to go was the way they usually go home, and I talked with her about things she could have told me so I would know it was important to her to go home that way. Today the GPS wanted to take me down a road that was temporarily closed for construction, and I was told 'you're so dumb you can't drive' and various other things. The second grader rolls his eyes, yells No! No! No!, and screams at me about how I'm so annoying/mean/boring etc when I say things like 'do you want a snack', 'is your seatbelt buckled?', and 'would you like a hair band for soccer practice?'. I'm also getting major pushback when I ask him to do anything, but it's also when I say anything at all. They're not a tv-watching family, so using screen time as a motivator won't work. Does any one have any suggestions? How long does it take school age kids to adapt to a new caregiver usually?