Thanks to those who are supportive. I have worked with this family for some time and have seen this behavior before, but in this case, when she had so much going on, I really went all out to help not as employee, but as a friend. When she was so rude and disrespectful of the work I had put in, it was such a slap in the face. I am obviously just the help to her, and will not put myself in this position again. In fact, I am planning to move on after the holidays and after this I am counting down the weeks.

Anonymous wrote:Just tell her the truth. She is an ungrateful bitch. Also, give her a bill for your time. It is a mother's job to plan their kid's birthday.

I agree. OP, she clearly doesn't appreciate all the effort you put in. PP said perhaps she had a bad day; that doesn't justify her taking her aggression out on you. I don't lash out at the world when I receive bills!

The mother should be the planning the party and if she is unable to plan it, she should pay you for your time and effort.

OP, I feel bad that you are frustrated, and I would be too. I have a feeling she must have had one of those days where she received a bunch of bills and feels some financial stress, as we all do when you receive a ton of bills on the same day. It's not fair to you, but I bet she was having a bad day and is overly sensitive over nominal costs for no reason. I planned a party for my charge and my MB had me return a few items I purchased but it's because she already had said items at home. I wasn't offended by it, but I would have been if she complained about it the day before the party!

I wouldn't say anything about it now, but if she asks next year (if you're still working for her) either tell her that you don't have anytime outside of work, or that you would love to help, but things need to be different. SHE needs to come up with a guest list, list of supplies, etc, and then you can do the planning/shopping from there. That way there is no miscommunication. I find it hard to believe that she can't take 20 minutes from her day to look up party supplies online. The birthday party doesn't need to be extravagant, it's for a kid!

Just tell her the truth. She is an ungrateful bitch. Also, give her a bill for your time. It is a mother's job to plan their kid's birthday.

I would just say that I had hoped to keep her in the loop along the way but realize she was very busy with work. Make sure she has the receipts and suggest that she could return anything she is not happy with. Then be honest about how you feel. Tell her you love to help with things that make her life easier but you are uncomfortable shopping without a list and a budget because money is such a tender issue for most people.

Anonymous wrote:Painful lesson learned. Don't take on additional, unpaid, work.

No good deed goes unpunished.

OP, this is not your fault. Your intent was solid and you were trying to do a good thing for this woman, she is just an ungrateful you know what.

So sorry this happened to you.

If you can continue working for her after all of this, then you deserve a huge medal of honor.

Painful lesson learned. Don't take on additional, unpaid, work.

I have taken on a huge project (planning a birthday party for my charge) because MB is busy at work. I have updated her along the way and put a lot of (unpaid) time in after hours on emailing guests, buyin party food etc. I have updated her along the way and MB has been like, "Fine, cool, thanks" about everything. Today (36 hours before party) she suddenly wants to know why I bought XYZ, can't I just use existing ABC? I gave her plenty of opportunities to have this conversation and I'm so furious that she refuses to pay attention when I try to collaborate, but still feels entitled to throw a wrench in things last minute. It is SO disrespectful of the time and energy I put in. I ASKED for her input, she blew me off, but now feels that I should rearrange my plans today to justify every decision I made.