MB's who do that need to use daycare and deal with having late fees when they cannot get their kids picked up on time.

MB here and I think it's wrong to make these kinds of comments. I decided to hire a nanny, I decided to retain the nanny because that is the solution that works best for our family. The extent to which that may or may not be financially challenging for me and my husband is not the nanny's problem - nor should it be on her mind at all.

If I can't afford a nanny then I shouldn't hire one. If I do hire one I need to be prepared to treat him/her professionally.

I also think that kind of professionalism should extend both ways. It makes me extremely uncomfortable when our nanny talks about her financial challenges. It makes me feel like she's wrangling for more money, or hoping we'll pay her bills, or I don't know what. She is paid competitively, gets generous raises/bonuses etc... so I hate being put in the position of feeling guilty or responsible somehow.

That goes both ways.

I'm sorry this kind of behavior seems so common from employers - it's just wrong.

Nanny here, and while I would never comment on my financial situation with my bosses, I do think it's ok to occasionally chat about new bills. Something like, "my hard drive crashed, and it was so expensive to replace it, I think I'm just going to replace my laptop with a tablet instead!" Or "I joined a new gym and I couldn't believe how cheap it was, I love it!" These types of things fall under casual small talk IMO, and are the types of conversations I've had with friendly bosses in non-nanny positions as well.

MB here, and I have never made a comment about the impact of our nanny's wages on our financial situation. That would be insensitive for sure as it's not like she is raking it in. I have in the past commented about not being able to afford some things right now, like having our house painted, but this is no way related to the fact that we have an employee. However, I realised that even those comments might seem insensitive so I have tried to avoid saying anything much that gives an indication of our financial situation - it just doesn't feel right. I think employers who do go on about this, esp re the nanny's salary, are being silly and/or possibly a bit passive-aggressive... could there somehow be a veiled implication that they feel they are not getting 'value for money'?

OP here. I guess it's OK for employers to do this since I've had several who have made such comments repeatedly. I don't think they are consciously trying to make me feel bad but it still annoys me for many reasons. I don't think there is a polite way of addressing it either.

I've had two MBs do this. It was annoying.
Both would tell me they were doctors but poor and struggling yada yada yada

Another nanny who agrees. I draw the line at using guilt or shame to get what you want out of other people. Even the liberal norms of the nanny world don't justify manipulating your boss or employee with undue guilt.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe they can't afford you. Guess you'll find out sooner or later.

Same situation as those nannies that complain about their rent, car payments, and food costs to their bosses. And?

In 10 years I have never made a comment about my financial obligations to my employers nor have I heard of another nanny doing this.
I have, however, had 2 or 3 past employers make little jabs about how much I earn.
It's uncomfortable and completely unprofessional.
Both parties should keep their financial situations to themselves.

But don't you agree that the nanny/family relationship is different from lots of other business relationships? Personal information is shared willingly and also as a matter of course. What you have described (both parties keeping financial situations to themselves) might be the model but it's not the norm.

PP here. I do not agree. It is in very poor taste for either party to make comments like that.

+1. nanny here and I would never comment about my financial situation to my employers. they know what they pay me and I'm a big girl and know how to save my money and spend it wisely

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe they can't afford you. Guess you'll find out sooner or later.

Same situation as those nannies that complain about their rent, car payments, and food costs to their bosses. And?

In 10 years I have never made a comment about my financial obligations to my employers nor have I heard of another nanny doing this.
I have, however, had 2 or 3 past employers make little jabs about how much I earn.
It's uncomfortable and completely unprofessional.
Both parties should keep their financial situations to themselves.

But don't you agree that the nanny/family relationship is different from lots of other business relationships? Personal information is shared willingly and also as a matter of course. What you have described (both parties keeping financial situations to themselves) might be the model but it's not the norm.

PP here. I do not agree. It is in very poor taste for either party to make comments like that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe they can't afford you. Guess you'll find out sooner or later.

Same situation as those nannies that complain about their rent, car payments, and food costs to their bosses. And?

In 10 years I have never made a comment about my financial obligations to my employers nor have I heard of another nanny doing this.
I have, however, had 2 or 3 past employers make little jabs about how much I earn.
It's uncomfortable and completely unprofessional.
Both parties should keep their financial situations to themselves.

But don't you agree that the nanny/family relationship is different from lots of other business relationships? Personal information is shared willingly and also as a matter of course. What you have described (both parties keeping financial situations to themselves) might be the model but it's not the norm.

Anonymous wrote:Maybe they can't afford you. Guess you'll find out sooner or later.

Same situation as those nannies that complain about their rent, car payments, and food costs to their bosses. And?

In 10 years I have never made a comment about my financial obligations to my employers nor have I heard of another nanny doing this.
I have, however, had 2 or 3 past employers make little jabs about how much I earn.
It's uncomfortable and completely unprofessional.
Both parties should keep their financial situations to themselves.

OP here to the two previous posters, my current employers are somewhat entitled but are also extremely caring and supportive of me. That's why in their case this is a mild annoyance. To the second poster, while I might make a comment here or there that I have this bill or that bill, I have never complained directly about not making enough money. To the contrary, I have always maintained to them that they are more than fair to me but living expenses are high in this area.

Maybe they can't afford you. Guess you'll find out sooner or later.

Same situation as those nannies that complain about their rent, car payments, and food costs to their bosses. And?

Simple answer they are entitled.

I have been blessed as a nanny to have worked for wonderful families. MBs who have made me feel valued and have given me great respect still make comments here and there about how expensive it is for them to have a nanny. I've had several employers who've told me they are paying me half their own salary. During the hiring process we've discussed my rate, they've agreed to it, I haven't asked for raises six months later, haven't nickeled and dimed anyone over 5 minutes here or ten minutes there and these comments kind of irritate me. They have made the choice to have a nanny, we have mutually agreed on a rate. Why do they feel it's necessary to intimate what a financial burden I am to them? I'm obviously not doing better then they are. My current employer asked me to do some extra sitting and made a comment about being hard hit in terms of paying me. I'm mildly annoyed by this. Why ask me to work and then even subtly complain about having to compensate me for that work?