Gosh, you sound dedicated. I would hire you!

If it's really bothering you I would send an email to the family your worried about and explain your concerns gently, but honestly. Let them know you want to have a positive relationship with them and things have seemed off lately. Then let them respond. They know they have a great deal, but with a new baby and you telling them upfront you'll be moving on, well they may be thinking that they can get something better, or cheaper, or more convenient than a share. It's. Not your fault, you sound very professional. Life is complicated, shares are too.

Anonymous wrote:I'm really sorry you're going through this OP. I went through this myself about two years ago. It was heartbreaking for me because all of a sudden our relationship turned into penny pinching and feelings of resentment. It made me feel really cheap and sad when they offered me a $1 raise. I love their children and go above and beyond every single day for them. When we finally compromised (I don't think either party was happy about the final pay decision) and the baby started coming to me, the relationship was still strained and all of a sudden the mom started micromanaging me to the point where she was texting me about once an hour asking for updates -- which was really difficult to respond to when I had 2 toddlers and an infant! I was very close to speaking to the family I was on good terms with and giving them the option of staying with me and looking for a new share family or letting them search for a new nanny with the other family (leaving them on good terms). I was about to sit down and have that discussion when the first family (the one I was having problems with) told me they were moving out of state. It was sad to see the children go but a huge relief. I did not want to leave but my job was becoming unbearable. Now I see the out of state family about 2x a year and the MB and I text all of the time -- now that they are no longer my employers, the tension has disappeared and we have a wonderful relationship. I understand that I got lucky and you don't have that option, but I wanted to let you know I've been there and I feel for you. Had that family not moved out of state, I would have had to stop working them. Best of luck

Thanks for the support, it very comforting to hear other stories. I think it also has to do with me suggesting this will be my final year with them as I'm finishing my degree and going into another field. I could leave now but I wanted to end on good terms but if things don't change I may have to leave before my year is up.

I'm really sorry you're going through this OP. I went through this myself about two years ago. It was heartbreaking for me because all of a sudden our relationship turned into penny pinching and feelings of resentment. It made me feel really cheap and sad when they offered me a $1 raise. I love their children and go above and beyond every single day for them. When we finally compromised (I don't think either party was happy about the final pay decision) and the baby started coming to me, the relationship was still strained and all of a sudden the mom started micromanaging me to the point where she was texting me about once an hour asking for updates -- which was really difficult to respond to when I had 2 toddlers and an infant! I was very close to speaking to the family I was on good terms with and giving them the option of staying with me and looking for a new share family or letting them search for a new nanny with the other family (leaving them on good terms). I was about to sit down and have that discussion when the first family (the one I was having problems with) told me they were moving out of state. It was sad to see the children go but a huge relief. I did not want to leave but my job was becoming unbearable. Now I see the out of state family about 2x a year and the MB and I text all of the time -- now that they are no longer my employers, the tension has disappeared and we have a wonderful relationship. I understand that I got lucky and you don't have that option, but I wanted to let you know I've been there and I feel for you. Had that family not moved out of state, I would have had to stop working them. Best of luck

Recently I have noticed a sudden change in the behavior directed towards me by one of my share families. They seem resentful that they had to pay me during their maternity leave in order to keep their spot and are unhappy with the significant raise asked for when their second child joined the share. I discussed the new contract, rates and maternity months prior to the baby being born that way if they decided it wasn't a good fit financially we could leave on amicable terms(2months notice prior to maternity leave, which gave them 5 months to find alternative care). Since their second child has joined the share they have increasing shown resentment by changing the terms of contract regarding my vacation time, eliminating the bonus days off I recieve (Black Friday, xmas eve) and making me feel guilty for the days I request off for my birthday months in advance. While I understand paying for childcare can be expensive, my rate is still less than daycare centers in the area for two children and about $6 less then the going rate for a nanny of their own. I have been with them three years in a share and I find their behavior odd and upsetting. I am not an amateur nanny, I have an education, 10 years of experience and excellent references plus a proven track record of reliability. I go above and beyond for the children in my care and provide an enriching educational environment. I had not asked for a raise or extra benefits in all the years employed by them and often let a few of my vacation days expire at the end of the year. I feel as though all my positives are being forgotten because they are uncomfortable paying the new rate. I should add the second family is wonderful and appreciative. They realize the great deal they have and are baffled by the change in behavior. While I don't want to overreact and seem like a whiny child, I do not think i should made to feel like I owe them for giving me a raise or paying during maternity leave. This position is nothing special in terms of rate and benefits and I could have easily moved on. It might be the fact that they do not know the nanny market since I was the only nanny they interviewed or it's just an adjustment period for them but I'm fighting the urge to leave the position early and start in a new field. I only stay because I'm attached to the children.