Ugh - we went through the same thing in June. Remember the AP who drank and drove and crashed the car and lied about it? That was us. We ended up housing her for three weeks beyond the date she stopped working. Unlike what your LCC incorrectly told you, you DO NOT have to pay her if she is living in your house, only if she is working while living in your house. Our AP stayed three weeks beyond her last day of work (in other words, she stopped working so we stopped paying stipend, just "paid" her room and board), and it was awful. Everyone was confused and stressed. Her extension family refused to take her early and we were put in the terrible situation of either keeping her still longer or putting her out - same situation you're feeling pushed into.

But this is the time to move this beyond you and AP and get the LCC and regional director involved. You have been lovely and patient but enough is enough, and that is what we did. If an AP doesn't have a new family in two weeks, she is supposed to leave her current HF and go home (or stay with a friend a few days if the friend will host her). The LCC or regional director needs to tell her this and not you. You can continue to smile and be sympathetic but really, even if it weren't upsetting your children, which it is, enough is enough, and they need to tell her to go. If LCC wants her to have more time, LCC is totally allowed to host her herself. Time for AP to go and either find a family or go home. You've had enough stress caused by/through her actions.

Good luck.

Have her go move in with the friend. Stop absorbing the guilt she's putting out. Safety is important.

This is not at ALL your fault. Have her go move with the friend. Get her out of your house.

Actions have consequences. She chose to do xyz, so she is in rematch. Her actions have resulted in a difficult rematch. Not your problem. You've done enough. You are upsetting your children, who should have priority over the au pair.

We put our au pair into rematch for good reason. Safety issues with the children.

We did everything "right" according to the rules and tried to be nice throughout. We lightened up the workload so that she had more time to focus on her rematch efforts (interviews and such things). We didn't think twice in agreeing to give her time off to interview with a family using our car. We continue to buy her little favorite foods and treat her respectfully in all ways.

But of course it's beyond awkward. She's sad/mad/distressed. She's having a hard time finding a family that will take her because of the safety issue which is reported in her rematch paperwork. (Although of course the agency didn't automatically send her home, but whatever.)

We figured, OK, we can do this for two weeks. Be cordial. Be supportive. When she says how annoying it is that no one wants to rematch with her, be sympathetic.

The kids were distressed by the change (I don't think they realized you COULD go into rematch, so that was a shock to them and they are school-age but pretty young, so any change is jarring to them). We explained that au pair would be leaving after two weeks to go with another family, that it wasn't their fault at all, and we would get a different au pair to finish the year. They took about a day to process that and then they were excited to interview new au pairs and make a new match. They have been respectful to au pair as well, which I was pleased to see.

So au pair hits the end of the two week rematch period. No rematch made. She asks to extend for another week. We agree, because we meanwhile have rematched with an au pair that can't come to our house for a couple of weeks so it's not like we have to kick her out. We feel guilty/bad that we "put her" into this situation (although she sort of did this to herself, i.e., safety issues).

Immediately she is pushing to stay ANOTHER week (two week rematch becomes a four week rematch). She still can't find a family, this is so unfair, etc.

Meanwhile, my kids are so confused. They are also pissed at ME because I keep changing the plans and they don't understand what is going on. She's leaving, she's staying. Now she's staying more.

It's beyond awkward and we're all tense and it's a mess. LCC says that au pair can stay with a friend if we can't have her in our home anymore. OK, first of all, that makes it sound like we literally are kicking her out onto the street. We are not those people and we would never make someone homeless for pete's sake. But it also feels like we are being guilt-tripped into keeping this girl indefinitely until new au pair arrives. I was actually looking forward to this unexpected small gap between this au pair leaving and new au pair arriving to take some down time with the kids. I made some special arrangements with my job and won't go back until new au pair arrives. But current au pair is STILL HERE so I feel like she should at least do some work, right? Because LCC says as long as she stays here, I'm paying her. GAH!!!

Am I evil for saying this is it? We have hit the end? You find a family or you go home? I feel like I am crushing this girl's dream of being in America for a year. I am walking on eggshells in my own house and I am kind of tired of it. We want to be super nice, but I think I am running out of nice.