I agree that this is less-than-ideal, but definitely not a dealbreaker. And as you said, once they are in school they will probably benefit a lot from someone who A) keeps the household running smoothly (the lower stress level for mom and dad definitely has an impact) and B) gives them lots of free, unsteuctured time (that is actually a great way to decompress after a mornig of school).

One thing to consider is that you will likely run into this problem again over the holidays, spring break, and next summer. If you are otherwise happy wih her, then I would just take it on yourself to plan ahead. Make a list of ideas and tell her, "I would like the kids to get out of the house at least every other day over the break. Here are some options and some cash for admission fees. Thanks!"

I think your nanny sounds great. If you want her to do more outings with your children sign them up for classes like Gymboree or music together. That will get them out of the house for at least 1.5 hrs.

How do you do she does NOT sit down with them ? You have a nanny cam ?

OP here. Thanks everyone, these were very helpful replies. I think I just needed a little perspective. I 100% agree the nanny does not need to entertain them ALL the time. The children are 4, 2 1/2 and 6 months. The 4 and 2 1/2 year old can and should play together on their own. They will also both be in school starting next week so they won't be here as much anyway and she is great with the baby. It was just a long summer where I think the older 2 got bored doing the same things everyday unless I suggested something different. I think it will be better now when school starts. I just kept thinking about one nanny I interviewed who I loved and she really wanted the position but she wasn't comfortable driving to school and I needed someone who could do that. I guess there is no one person who is perfect and I agree with a PP that no nanny is going to do things exactly as I do.

Are you physically there with them a lot of the time? Some people are a bit shy about getting down on the floor and playing, or being silly or childlike, around other adults. She may feel self-conscious.

We had a previous nanny who was always coming up with art projects and such. She was also chronically late and irresponsible. Our current nanny is a model of reliability and flexibility, gentle with our kids, but isn't the type to bring in a new project every week. (She will sometimes, maybe 1-2 times per month, do a project with them.).

I think it's very, very hard to find that "great" nanny who is super hands-on and enthusiastic with kids, and willing to help out around the house a lot. I wouldn't see what you describe as a deal-breaker.

I am not sure of the ages of your children OP.

I agree that as a nanny, it is important for her to play w/the children. I am a nanny and I actively engage w/my charges since I know the parents are primarily paying me for the interaction duties I perform.

However, if your children are older, at least around 3 yrs. of age or so, then it is expected that your nanny should get some breaks during the day. To expect her to non-stop play w/your children is not healthy for her since it may burn her out plus your children need to learn to self-entertain as this is a skill that every child needs to learn for himself eventually.

One thing you must understand is that your nanny is not going to do things 100% the way you do. Whomever you hire...She will always do something or other that you may look down upon as not good enough for you. It is only normal, natural and to be expected since no one's standards can meet our own.

Please consider this when deciding what to do.

As long as she is reliable, punctual, trustworthy, responsible, engaging and follows your wishes, I would thank my lucky stars.

A good nanny is hard to find and once you find the right one, things will never ever be perfect but they should be as good as can be realistically expected to be.

Hope this helps.

Does she never play with them?

Or is she respecting their play together and recognizing that play time does't need to be adult led 100% of the time that kids don't need to constantly be on the go or entertained by a adult.

I don't think it's not that she isn't a great nanny

It's that you and she have different styles and beliefs when it comes to children's play.

Is she burned out? Are you around all day observing her not playing with your children, or are you only seeing her not playing with your kids for short periods of time when your home? It's strange that she played well with them during your four day trial period and then just suddenly stopped. If she hadn't played well with them to begin with, I'd suggest maybe she just doesn't know how to play with kids. How old are your kids? Can you find a love your kids and nanny have in common?

Your nanny sounds like a housekeeper with childcare skills as opposed to a nanny who helps out with housework when not busy with the kids. How old are your kids? If you want a nanny to play with your kids, then you have the wrong nanny for your family. Perhaps she's better with older kids?

If this is bothering you now, it will bother you even more as the days go on. Now is a great time to find a new nanny as kids are going back to school. In fact, I know of a nanny who is looking and she has watched my kids on a bunch of occasions. I'll see if her boss has posted on DCUM and if I can forward the link (since not sure where you live).

We've had the same nanny for 7 years. She's amazing. It took me MANY interviews to find her, but i knew as soon as she walked in the door. Your kids deserve the same.

We are on our second nanny in a year. She's been with us 3 month and I'm starting to feel like maybe we made a mistake in hiring her. A little background: our first nanny was with us 9 months. She was fantastic with the children but was always late and since she had a family of her own she didn't really want to work the full-time hours that I needed. It took me 3 months to find another nanny who I thought would be a good fit. We had 4 trial days with her. She seemed great with the children, played nicely with them and had the personality we were looking for. We spoke with her references who all had excellent things to say about her.

Now, 3 months in I'm starting to have some regrets. She's nice to the children but not great with them. I think she does really care about them but she never sits down and plays with them. She just watches them play. She will read to them if they want and help them do art projects if I suggest it but mostly she just watches them play. She does take them out to the playground but that's about it unless I suggest something. She is also very reluctant to help with potty training.

She is extremely helpful to me. She does all their laundry and changes their sheets. She gives them baths and she does a lot of extra things I don't ask her to do around the house as well.

Anyway, I'm just feeling frustrated because while she is good she's not great and I'm not sure what else I could have done differently to find the great nanny. I had the hardest time finding someone with the personality and experience that I wanted. I know some of you will say it might be what I'm offering so I'm going to just be clear now. We are paying her $24/hr plus overtime for 45 hours per week. All over the table. She gets guaranteed hours, 2 weeks vacation of her choosing (plus whatever days we take off) and 5 sick days.

I don't know if my expectations are unrealistic or why I'm having such a hard time. I also don't know where to go from here. I really don't want to look for ANOTHER nanny. Theres nothing specifically wrong with this one, she's just not great with the children. She keeps them safe and find though. So do I need to accept this or am I settling?